COUPLES THAT MAKE NO SENSE

Example 1

Mila Kunis + Macauley Culkin

status: DISMISSED

why?:

Mila is SO HOT if you look at her without sunglasses YOUR EYEBALLS WILL MELT and your face will be an omelet.
Macauley REALLY DOESN'T HAVE A CAREER ANYMORE.

upgrade, Mila! UPGRADE! Natalie may be engaged but....

Example 2

Taylor Swift + Jake Gyllenhaal

status: DEAD

why:

God I don't know but we'll hear a song about it later.

I did think they were cute, though. :/

also: DATE ANNE JAKE YOU GUYS ARE SOULMATES.

Example 3

Meg Ryan + John Mellencamp

status: HOT

what THE fuck

I won't even begin to wax on my out-of-character romantic outings lately. you just don't know, my friends. you never know.

p.s. Lucinda Williams plays Mercyhurst in Erie on March 1st. whoa!

Comments

"Chang-E" - Emmy the Great (new album out 10/9)

Emmy the Great drops her new album tomorrow on Bella Union - the fastest album she says she's ever created. "April /月音" was completed after a trip to to her birth city Hong Kong in 2017. In early 2018, Emmy the Great made "April /月音" in a two-week period in Brooklyn - which was delayed for release until now because of her maternity leave. After recording this album, Emmy moved (for good) back to Hong Kong. Since her original trip to Hong Kong, things have become quite tumultuous there. Said Emmy. "I’ll never know why the city called me back, but I know what it gave me. In return, I want to give it this album. That Mid-Autumn, nobody could have predicted what was to come, neither the atomization that began with the anti-Extradition Law protests in June 2019, nor the struggle for democracy that continues now, through the Covid-19 pandemic. To witness your birth city in its greatest moment of need is a powerful, humbling event, and I know I watched Hong Kong

Give JR a Break

Recently, I've been reading some sites that have criticized James Roday, the lead actor on the USA show PSYCH for an apparent weight gain. But you know what? Who gives a flying fizzle stick if James Roday is slightly larger than he was 4 years ago. Apparently, it wasn't enough to scare away his current girlfriend/ co-star Maggie Lawson. (Who is one hell of a Catch!) And NO they are not engaged. That seems to be nothing more than a rumor, but there is a very high chance of it happening in the near future. Anyway, as long as PSYCH continues to entertain I don't mind about James Roday's waist. He, and Dule Hill, and Corbin Bernson too, can eat all the fried broccoli they want. The last episode of PSYCH wasn't so smashing, but I don't blame it on dietary issues. QATFYG: Are you keeping up with Psych? And who is hotter, James Roday or Maggie Lawson? (Trick Question but idk why) PS: If you have heard any more news on Roday and Lawson becoming Roday-Lawso

Lilith help me, I want to stake the second episode of True Blood!

Episode 2: Authority Always Wins Well here we are again, time to sink our twin hard-ons into the new episode! Before I get into the thick of things, again I must let you know HERE BE MASSIVE SPOILERS. And I’m going to recap this by the characters instead of a timeline account, because not much happens in this episode.

The Useless Critic 2.0

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