Example 1
Mila Kunis + Macauley Culkin
status: DISMISSED
why?:
Mila is SO HOT if you look at her without sunglasses YOUR EYEBALLS WILL MELT and your face will be an omelet.
Macauley REALLY DOESN'T HAVE A CAREER ANYMORE.
Macauley REALLY DOESN'T HAVE A CAREER ANYMORE.
upgrade, Mila! UPGRADE! Natalie may be engaged but....
Example 2
Taylor Swift + Jake Gyllenhaal
status: DEAD
why:
God I don't know but we'll hear a song about it later.
I did think they were cute, though. :/
also: DATE ANNE JAKE YOU GUYS ARE SOULMATES.
Example 3
Meg Ryan + John Mellencamp
status: HOT
what THE fuck
I won't even begin to wax on my out-of-character romantic outings lately. you just don't know, my friends. you never know.
p.s. Lucinda Williams plays Mercyhurst in Erie on March 1st. whoa!
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