Skip to main content


I just paraphrased a poet there:  Neruda, maybe? Anyway, I’m at a Dunkin Donuts with no wifi. This raises the question:  WHAT KIND OF DUNKIN DONUTS HAS NO WIFI?

Moving onto Point B, I’ve got to tell you, if the new Mayer Hawthorne How Do You Do doesn’t satisfy you on some sexual level then you might want to check between your legs because I sincerely doubt you have genitals. !!! And that’s disconcerting to ME because I CARE ABOUT YOU.


Mayer Hawthorne sings like some old soul god- some Motown standard with a voice meant to turn cement into honey. And he’s just a bespectacled white boy from Detroit, of all places, which I guess gives him some air of credibility. I mean, Motown! Rust Belt! Eight Mile!

The first time I encountered him was last year, when I saw his picture on the internet. And I was like WHO IS THIS MAN. From there, it began. More or less, when I heard the reggae version of “Maybe So, Maybe No.” I was really surprised to find I liked it because neosoul wasn’t my bag, yet. To paraphrase James Brown, sort of.

Since then, my love (and perhaps clitorial erections, as a result) of this man have only amplified. There are like five men in the world I want to have do hideous things to me- four, Jeff Buckley’s really, really dead y’all- and he is on that list. !!!!!!!!!!!


!!!!!!!! I’ve lost the ability to type a complete thought. Hold on while I cross my legs.
“The Walk” is the lead single of the album and it sounds like something straight off classic AM radio when people used to listen to classic AM radio. Then you hear the fact he’s swearing left and right and you’re like SHIT, THEY’D KEEP THIS OFF THE RADIO. Censors!

But seriously. Give that song a few listens and it will get in your head. Ticking away.


Back! I went to the park. In the meantime, I got a manicure and totally walked in on some new Fox show with James Van Der Beek (DAWSON) that’s filming in Greenwich Village. I don’t get why everything in the universe has to be filmed there.

Back to Mayer, though. Don’t all roads lead there? All beautiful roads? Also I am outside and it is FREEZING. 

Mom, if you read this, I NEED MY PEACOAT PLEASE SEND IT

Anyway, Mayer has this gift- talent, knack, whatever- for making a song that sounds so sensual and hot and D.H. Lawrence appropriate be filled with some pretty tongue-in-cheek lyrics. Example, “You Called Me." I was going to copy and paste lyrics, but we won't bother with that.

"Can't Stop" is hands down my favorite, however. The production is top of the line and SNOOP DOGG IS IN IT. it's like a 1990s r and b fuck jam, let's call it that. Yes. It's a fuck jam. '

But let's be honest with each other, I probably have a song with Snoop Dogg I don't know about.

The only thing about Mayer that has ever bothered me- GOD I AM THIS CLOSE TO BUYING A TICKET TO THAT TERMINAL FIVE SHOW- is his attempts at slow songs. I am not a fan, at all. They come off way too saccharine for me. Like, just talk in that low voice, Mayer. Keep going. No, don't pussy out on me. GODDAMMIT MAYER.

Is it a real departure from his first album? Not really. I think it's a lot better, though. And perfect for the autumn. Or sex. Or both and then some!

rating:  seven out of nine orgasms



Popular posts from this blog

"Chang-E" - Emmy the Great (new album out 10/9)

Emmy the Great drops her new album tomorrow on Bella Union - the fastest album she says she's ever created.  "April /月音" was completed after a trip to to her birth city Hong Kong in 2017. In early 2018, Emmy the Great made "April /月音" in a two-week period in Brooklyn - which was delayed for release until now because of her maternity leave. After recording this album, Emmy moved (for good) back to Hong Kong.  Since her original trip to Hong Kong, things have become quite tumultuous there. Said Emmy. "I’ll never know why the city called me back, but I know what it gave me. In return, I want to give it this album. That Mid-Autumn, nobody could have predicted what was to come, neither the atomization that began with the anti-Extradition Law protests in June 2019, nor the struggle for democracy that continues now, through the Covid-19 pandemic. To witness your birth city in its greatest moment of need is a powerful, humbling event, and I know I watched Hong Kong

Give JR a Break

Recently, I've been reading some sites that have criticized James Roday, the lead actor on the USA show PSYCH for an apparent weight gain. But you know what? Who gives a flying fizzle stick if James Roday is slightly larger than he was 4 years ago. Apparently, it wasn't enough to scare away his current girlfriend/ co-star Maggie Lawson. (Who is one hell of a Catch!) And NO they are not engaged. That seems to be nothing more than a rumor, but there is a very high chance of it happening in the near future. Anyway, as long as PSYCH continues to entertain I don't mind about James Roday's waist. He, and Dule Hill, and Corbin Bernson too, can eat all the fried broccoli they want. The last episode of PSYCH wasn't so smashing, but I don't blame it on dietary issues. QATFYG: Are you keeping up with Psych? And who is hotter, James Roday or Maggie Lawson? (Trick Question but idk why) PS: If you have heard any more news on Roday and Lawson becoming Roday-Lawso

movies you should see: hiroshima mon amour

Hiroshima, Mon Amour this movie has been on my mind a lot lately, due to the recent events in Japan. when I saw it about a year ago, it easily made an impression on me. easily. it was just so beautiful, in every way thinkable. it follows the story of a French actress and her Japanese architect lover, having a conversation together as they lie in bed. the majority of the film is told in flashbacks of their lives in WWII (the film was made in 1959, so there's a ten year gap there). he was directly affected by the dropping of the atom bomb in Hiroshima; she was ostracized due to her involvement with a German soldier. the reason I was propelled to see it was the song "Burning Hearts" by My Favorite- "I was an architect, she was an actress, I drew the Eiffel Tower upon her dress." (really good song too, by the way! RIP My Favorite). luckily, you can find the movie online. here's a portion of it: I HOPE YOU LIKE READING FILMS it's given credit (so I am