The Useless Critic 2.0

Hi there. That's a nice t-shirt you are wearing, or not wearing. Have you been working out? I thought so.  So, here's the end of our journey. The long and winding road has come to its close. And yet, we're still here, together. but guess what, bitch? I'm letting go of your hand! ICELAND:  COME VISIT. WE'RE BROKE. MITT ROMNEY COULD BUY US.  what name is first in Icelandic music? or anything really? BJORK.  I was googling "how to piss off an Eskimo" earlier and I thought of ways to piss off Bjork, as to make that train of thought relevant.  here are are some methods: - talk to her about art - poke her with a stick - blame her for global warming - tell her to vote for Ron Paul - greet her at the airport. be like "welcome to Philadelphia, Bjork!" WHAM oh, who comes after Bjork? Sigur Ros , obviously. Let's group Jonsi (lead singer) in with that. so pretty! I am fortunate enough to share my birthday with the next lad...

Alaska when I arrived. Alaska when I left. Little Known Facts about Alaska: Most people tell you to carry a weapon if you leave downtown areas. If people hate you, they will let you know. Eskimos often tell you to call them Eskimos...not Inuits. People hunt sheep. Reindeer Sausage is everywhere, even in gyros. Korean is the second language of Anchorage. There are no polar bears in the streets. Anchorage AK is 50% Caucasian. 48% Korean and Filipino, 2% Unknown. Alcoholism is the most popular hobby. The South side of Anchorage owns. The North side of Anchorage blows. The East and West sides are indifferent. There is a place called Miley Drive. People from South Sudan frequently pop up. Eskimos like to spend money and play basketball. The Midnight Sun is amazing. They call Alaska "The Great Land" for a reason. I miss it already.