The Useless Critic 2.0

I would put more time or thought or energy into this, but I'm going by the seat of my pants. I mean "Running With the Devil" by Van Halen is great and all, and Judas Priest does inspire me to kill on occasions, but by now I think everyone in the universe knows I am going to Uffie on October 31st. As my dear friend Ryan told me, this means I need blonde hair and lots of eye make-up and potentially fishnets. And I know the great American movie Mean Girls said that Halloween is the one chance us prim and proper LAYDEEZ have chances to dress like hoochies. Not that I am really a lady, more of a sloppy woman-child that little boys on sidewalks scream "TINA FEY" at (seriously this happened Friday), but would you ever see me in torn clothes and heels otherwise? Besides, I do have this really weird obsession with her. I don't know how it began. I think it's because I realized I care too much about most things and Uffie feels like the anti-me. plus she's jus...

So! Uffie finally released her debut LP / mp3 leak. Let’s talk about that. Some of the other blogs have been saying people are just going to illegally download this with the internet connections they’re stealing from their neighbors instead of buying it— this seemed like fussy cynicism the first several times I skimmed over it, but the Uffie we’ve been becoming acquainted with during the past several years from her singles and pant-less photo shoots is only found on Sex Dreams and Denim Jeans because those same A-sides are included on it. Is this lazy? It might be! Leading off a new album with the same version of a four-year old song, particularly when it doesn’t sound like the 13 others in either style or content, seems like a curious way to introduce an established artist to a wider audience while simultaneously being a bit patronizing to the people who have been waiting years and years for this album to leak so we they can yawn about and delete it without giving it any kind of cha...