The Useless Critic 2.0

First of all, I'm very glad Fiona Apple exists. And is still making albums, although this might be her last for a long time. Who knows? It's anyone's call at this point. I can see her just like, being like "this is it. I don't want to deal with you all anymore." and walking away. Hell, I WOULD WALK AWAY. I still remember being much younger and more precocious and going to scoop Extraordinary Machine up after work (at, uh, McDonald's). And it was one of the best decisions I ever made; many a bus ride was spent jamming out to that CD (yes). "Be kind to me or treat me mean. I'll make the most of it, I'm an extraordinary machine." For a while, it was a mantra. And I would love to say that's irrelevant now, but it's as applicable as ever. The older I get, the more sensitive I seem to become. Apparently, all Fiona does is hide in her house and walk her dog at sunrise to avoid people. Give me a few more years and I'll be there...

Word has it that both Oh Land and Fiona Apple were at SXSW this week. And I wasn't. Do you see the disturbing factor there?  Well, Fiona is a lot more remarkable, in this scenario. She's been around since the mid-90s and in hiding really since 2005, when Extraordinary Machine  was hauled out into the public eye, after being kept down by her record company. God! I can't believe that was like seven years ago. I need a moment. I did not take that photo. Someone from the HuffPo did. While this concert happened, I was in Phoenix, doing things. not sure what, but certainly not seeing Miss Apple in her yoga body glory!  Also:  she played at a barbecue. huh. that's like, the one place this side of a car wash I would expect to hear her. whateverrrrrrrrrr. I hope someone was eating prime rib while she tore through "Sleep to Dream." WOMP WOMP WOMP.  The real incentive for me writing this post, however, is her behavior at said barbecue jam. Tot...

This is the new Fiona Apple album title. Appreciate.