The Useless Critic 2.0

I think I promised some Lana-related blabbing, so here it goes. I've been traveling a lot these past several days, which has left me quite some time to enjoy music. And by music I mean 90 percent "Norman Fucking Rockwell." This and "Cinnamon Girl" are, to me, the standout tracks off this album. There's really not a dud among the group - some songs are a little more subdued than others, I will say - but the songs that stand out are like, shit people will be listening to in 20 plus years.  Now, for "Mariners Apartment Complex," there's two reasons it is - without a doubt - one of her top tracks. First of all, it's a classic throwback ballad dressed up in modern production (the help of Jack Antonoff.) This sounds like something that emerged directly for radio play in the '70s. Without the production that is undeniably contemporary - imagine a stripped-down acoustic version - "Mariners" would not be out of place in the singe...

Song of the Day Let me briefly rhapsodize about this album. I always had the inkling Emily was an amazing lyricist but this album proved that tenfold. It's very stark and melancholic without being overly so. Simply put, when you are depressed, this is perfect mood music. It neither invalidates you or does it validate you. I was so depressed my first year of college. I used to take walks around Edinboro listening to this album- it just hit a chord. Emily wrote it following the death of her poet father several years ago. You can sort of tell this album was her way of coping with it.  She has not done any follow-ups to this. To never open a book, always reading a magazine Outspend, betting if it looks like winning you haven't been Knives don't have your back I wait and I count, the knives don't have your back I wait and I count to the last breath we take What we made, doesn't make sense What's a wolf without a pack? Open your chest and take the ...

Song of the Day If I could have it back All the time that we wasted I'd only waste it again If I could have it back You know I would love to waste it again Waste it again and again and again  I was going to do another song (i.e. Lorde). However, this one felt more appropriate right now. I have inadvertently learned a lesson from an odd place. Showing people you love them is crucial. Showing them.  Kind of sucks for me, because words are all I have (especially now, ha), but it's something I won't forget.

Song of the Day (let's pretend this covers tomorrow) Come tell me your story to unload your glorious grief Where you are the valet of honor and I am the thief And don't ever mention the stains that you left on my track How from a beautiful girl I became someone ruined and wrecked Was all in your back, all in your back So I spin in the dance of your absence and put on a show But why do I smile baby, you of all people should know The one that you loved died a long time ago You can't do me wrong with charity until You'll exhaust your lies and remedies, you will But with your voice and melodies you kill, you kill Your version of glory is dark and it's covered with sin And I wanna dive in an ocean of pink tourmaline I've seen the pure souls, they exist and they fly And I think I could live with it, I know I can now You can't do me wrong with charity until You'll exhaust your lies and remedies, you will But with your voice and melodies...

2006: I am a freshman at Edinboro University. Having grown up with dial-up, arriving at Edinboro introduced me to the world of high-speed internet. I was HOOKED. Naturally I began to abuse internet radio first and foremost. I was exposed to a lot of great music that year. Beirut, Final Fantasy, Joanna Newsom, M.I.A. I remember the first time I heard the National. It was a rainy gross-ass Edinboro day, which is about 360 days out of the year. The song was "All the Wine." Whoa!  I remember thinking. What a cocky asshole . "I'm a birthday candle in a circle of black girls," Matt spits in the song, like he is spitting right on you, the listener. ??? What does that even mean? Do you know how many circles of black girls around cupcakes I have imagined to this song? "I am a perfect piece of ass." Of course it's a parody, but the light's not quite on in my developing brain.  . I was appalled! And rather bored. I listened to the s...

Because of it being Sunday, I decided to pick this song, which is about a crisis of faith most people with any spiritual direction end up having. I don't think of it as a very religious song; rather I just think of it as a philosophical question, materialized by the figure of "Jesus." You believe what you want and so will I; I have no patience for the people that push their viewpoints on anyone in any sort of fashion, be it from diets to technology to books to read.  So get down to it, I do believe in a higher power of an abstract form. I wouldn't call myself religious as I would spiritual. I try to attend this church run by monks I found once a week and there I sort of just meditate. A lot has happened this past year and I find some degree of solace there.  and all night long i sat with you in a darkened hospital room and nurses checked in by the hour I was made aware of a higher power and how this fragile life we live is not ours to keep but ours to give what ...

Right now I am waging a very public war about whether or not I want to spend the money to see Mr. Ryan Adams this December. word on the street is his new album is good. I BET IT IS.  anyway, this song will always remind me of my first love in high school. I listened to this song and thought about her on long, winding busrides home. It didn't click with me how good of a song this was UNTIL that point, because up until then my mind considered it the "9/11 song." (because VH1 played this non-stop after 9/11). NOTHING EVER BECAME OF THAT, BUT WHATEVS. Found myself a picture that would fit in the folds Of my wallet and it stayed pretty good Still amazed I didn't lose it on the roof of the place When I was drunk and I was thinking of you Every day the children they were singing their tune Out on the streets and you could hear from inside Used to take the subway up to Houston and 3rd I would wait for you and I'd try to hide Now I live here and this s...

It's a little late this week and for that I apologize: Flirt with conception Slow the cycle Will the baby grow? Social tradition interference Control, control, control Today is my birthday And I get one every year And some day... Hard to believe But I'll be buried six feet underground I'll be dead and gone, no longer around Spinning, spinning Before I can recall All the unknown chemicals Control the cycle The successive generations From dust to dust Burying my grandma Then give birth to my own daughter... what this song is trying to say: - we all die - death always gives way to creation (birth) - THAT IS THE CYCLE OF LIFE I know you didn't think No Doubt was that deep. TOO BAD, IT'S LIKE WHEN YOU LOOK INTO A PUDDLE AND THE PUDDLE LOOKS BACK TO YOU. somewhere in California, Gwen is eating Cheeto's right now. 

So hello early hours of Wednesday morning. From reading many of The Useless Critic posts, you can see that NBC sitcoms are favorites. So for the last few days, I have been catching “Outsourced” nonstop on the internet. Why? Because it deals with Indians and people that don’t have Indian names like Rebecca Hazlewood. It is so nice watching all the names of Indian actors, Anisha Nagarajan Parvesh Cheena Rizwan Manji, And then see Hazlewood. For some reason, that might make you want to get Stoned! But Rebecca Hazlewood gains the s/s for more than just appearing in a late NBC sitcom. It turns out she is rather keen on the blogosphere herself. All her information is available on Wordpress, and so visit here. It is not run entirely by her, but it is a more perosnally interactive blog They have some great photos of her posted. http://rebeccahazlewood.wordpress.com/ And of course thanks to her name, I get to post another video from "Motherfucking Lee Hazlewood." You know he has bee...

So this is not a foresight. It is more of a daydream. This is what would happen if Kate and Will brought me along on their honeymoon for postmodern reasons. Oh no, there is no third wheel. This is more like "The Three Musketeers." Once the three of us were alone, we would get really messed up on Red Bull and listen to this. Gates of Babylon -- by Rainbow Look away from the sea I can take you anywhere Spend a vision with me A chase with the wind Move closer to me I can make you anyone I think you're ready to see The gates to babylon The power of what has been before Rises to trap you within A magic carpet ride a genie maybe more A city of heavenly sin Sleep with the devil and then you must pay Sleep with the devil, the devil will take you away Oh gates of babylon You can see but you're blind Someone turned the sun around But you can see in your mind The gates of babylon You're riding the endless caravan Bonded and sold as a slave A saber dance removing all the veil...

hello world; here are my initial reactions to Algeria: 1. The keyboards here are very difficult to use.....so Many mistakes. 2. Many stores have excellent supplies of Hannah Montana merchandise; so i fit right in. 3. The cyber cafe music is mostly in English; and the lyrics are like "i like your body yeah yeah" so respect! QATFYG: Will I survive here?

VS. So I am in Sweden, and I was wondering....what is the opposite of Swedish music and culture, and all I can think of is...... LSG so here is ¤My Body¤ from the band LSG. My body all over your body, babe (It's your, yeah) Your body all over my body, babe (Said, it's your body) My body all over your body It's your body, babe (It's yours body, babe) All over my body, babe (My body) My body all over your body, babe (Said, it feels so good) Your body all over my body, babe (Said, it feels so nice, so nice) My body all over your body (It's your body, babe) Oh, it's your body, baby If I beg, please, play on My, my, my body, yeah Keep on playin' on QATFYG: To You! What is the opposite of Sweden?

classic Jens! sweeping and elegant and romantic and yet sweet and quirky at the same time! I love the way he puts details of his life in his lyrics in a way that doesn't get aggravating, see here: I was in Washington D.C. for the election And when they announced the results I left the procession Content in the world's direction Tried to call you for an explanation Of the distance to the star constellations Or any explanation of How a broken heart is not the end of the world Because the end of the world is bigger than love the reason I love Jens is because he is the closest channel I found to the way I think. A++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ p.s. tour America buddy I HAVE BOOKS TO GIVE YOU.

So, on the blog I've stated that I am a huge fan of the show "Make it or Break it," but lately, I've been watching each episode and thinking......"Where is Mia Rose Frampton?" She was a minor character they used to employ in the early episodes of season 1, but she has been nonexistent. Her performance added a lot to the show. Sadly, as far as acting goes her ABC Family stuff has been the ONLY major work on her filmography. And her name might ring a bell, as she is the daughter of Rock-o god-o, Peter Frampton. Hence the Peter Frampton song: Mia Rose. i love to hear you talk i love the things you say i love to hear you speak - my name i love to spend my time holding your hand in my mine watching the world go by through the wonder of your eyes there's a secret in your soul - mia how i love to watch you grow - mia like a flower you unfold - mia beautiful mia, beautiful mia you are my angel heaven knows - mia rose QATFYG: Are you a Framptonite?

So I'm quickly falling in love with this Irish song "The Foggy Dew," which was made popular by Luke Kelly. And then, made popular once again by Sinead O'Connor and the Chieftains. I like Luke Kelly's version better because he captures the moment with his dramatic vocals, and I've always felt the best Irish songs are the strong, accented, dramatic ones. Yeats would be proud. The Foggy Dew As down the glen one Easter morn to a city fair rode I There Armed lines of marching men in squadrons passed me by No fife did hum nor battle drum did sound it's dread tatoo But the Angelus bell o'er the Liffey swell rang out through the foggy dew Right proudly high over Dublin Town they hung out the flag of war 'Twas better to die 'neath an Irish sky than at Sulva or Sud El Bar And from the plains of Royal Meath strong men came hurrying through While Britannia's Huns, with their long range guns sailed in through the foggy dew 'Twas Britannia bade our W...

Mass romantic fool, separated by sheets When the curtain calls you speaking On the themes of stolen virtue missing from the radio, radio Now this romantic duel is into the streets Bon appetit, you've eaten me alive you realize This is not the way In the streetlight dawn This beat turns on This boy's life among the electrical lights. "Mass Romantic" - New Pornographers I would argue A.C. Newman is one of the best singer-songwriters out there. like, Brian Wilson good. the end. and Neko should sing on EVERY song. they have a new album coming out. woooooooooo

p.s. forgive my last post. I'll delete it in a few days, haha. They say It's coming on to christmas Hello Saferide, light a candle on the christmas tree They say It's gonna be all parties and carols Well I disagree Well I disagree You left on the 10th of december Guess there'll be no nobel award from me Far as standing outside by your window, shouting "I disagree" "I disagree" And as for present, you fuck, I had an Ipod nano With your name written on it It's gonna fit well into my new life listening To Gloria Gaynor, singing "I will survive" They say there's suppose to be three wise men I've been searching but I haven't found a single one Angels brought a baby to a virgin me I'll just settle for some good old fun Settle for some good old fun And as for presenta, you fuck, I had an Ipod nano With your name written on it It's gonna fit well into my new life listening To Gloria Gaynor, singing "I will survive"...

Asalaam and good afternoon. With the dawn of 010 (pronounced oh-ten) approaching, a whole new list of resolutions is being created, one of them is to create a new recognized musical Sub-Genre. And here it is.......... Plastic Rose Rock This is a sub genre that incorporates music that is meant to be glam, but is created with no heart and soul. Like a plastic rose, it is flashy and attractive on the outside, but inside it's dead....and was never alive to begin with. The creation of this genre comes from a lyrical line in the first single from "Selena Gomez and the Scene's" Debut song....The roses that you gave me were made of plastic. I know, I complain about Selena Gomez wayyyyyyyyyyy too much. And you might be tired of hearing about her, but this is important. Her album out now "Kiss and Tell" is the prime example of Plastic Rose Rock. It is trying to be sold on imagery and very fabricated songs. Like I said, flashy but no life in it. QATFYG: Who else would ...

I had almost forgotten about everyone's 2nd favorite Rapcore/Rap Metal badasses. I was just listening to some old Bionic Jive. Almost as good as ICE T's Body Count. "I shot lucifer" by Bionic Jive --this is so extreme. This is me, Black and most hated in all fifty, from genocide to swastikas and right wing comittees, This is me, the witness to governmental conspiracies, overcrowded cells breed addicts to feed my street This is me, the one the aryan nation wanna touch, burn my church, set me up, hog tie, and wet me up, and at the same time my own block hold a nine and a bullet with my name in case I go against the grain America sleeps, while children play with cyber sex, and my neighbor's hard to love cuz I know he child molests Money manifest the greed, greed manifest the murder, murder manifest revenge to hold the cycle of the sins But I shot Lucifer, Christ compelled me, Christ compelled me, we bring the truth to life I shocked the world with it, shocked the wor...

We passed the time with crosswords that she thought to bring inside What five letters spell "apocalypse?" she asked me I won her over saying "W.W.I.I.I." She smiled and we both knew that she'd misjudged me. Oh, Marie it was so easy to fall in love with you It felt almost like a home of sorts or something And you would keep the warhead missile silo good as new And I'd watch you with my thumb above the button. "The Temptation of Adam." p.s. if you're at PSB tonight, Pittsburgh's the Clarks are playing!