The Useless Critic 2.0

Here's a blast from the past! Welcome back to the segment "I'd Hit It," discussing people I may or may not find attractive. Likely "may." I haven't done this since 2011, so hurr we go: Come on, Emma Watson is oozes class. And she's beautiful. And British. Why wouldn't you hit this? I liked her in the Harry Potter movies. In fact, I had something of a small crush on her. But I felt so weird because she was younger than me.  However, I am dating a younger woman now, so I guess that belief I had has since vanished.  But you tell me what you think after watching this: Also she poledances in that movie. AND she doesn't have Harry Styles on her phone. LIKE!!!!  Until next time bozos,  Britt "I'm a 15-Year-Old Boy" Kay

They have all joined together for a movie that- daresay I- looks good! Seriously though, this kind of meta-comedy project is my wet dream. Plus, it's not "Spring Breakers."  AHHHH It just looks...ridiculously goofy. And I, being goofy, respect, enjoy and appreciate my own kind. But don't take my word for it, LeVar Burton!  Here it is: What do you think? I'd like to believe Rihanna survives the Biblical End of Days. 

I have times where I can't sleep, just like every  other human.  I don't have that kind of ugly ass alarm clock. I do my celebrity gossip reading then. This week was particularly bad for me sleep-wise. So I decided to familarize myself with the Liam and Miley schism because that seemed important. Don't ask me how this happened. I don't have answers. I'm not even straight and this strikes me as wrong.  This young couple- full of brains, beauty and arguably talent -has hit the skids lately. Allegedly. This isn't the first time for these two. Aren't the best relationships built on tumult? I'm looking at YOU, Michelle Obama. Huh? That being said, I think we all know Miley Cyrus has gone INSANE in the past few years. I judge that based off her faux-Robyn haircut (bitch ain't no Robyn !) And she recently quoted Jeff Buckley on Twitter, which I found troubling. Now sources- I don't know who the fuck "sources" are- are s...