The Useless Critic 2.0

Last night, by total accident, my gf (giraffe?) and I discovered this British woman, Emily Hartridge. She has a web series similar to that of Jenna Marbles. However, Emily is British and her whole schtick is 10 Reasons Why. Apparently everything in life can be broken down into 10 reasons. I see why now. This one is my favorite so far. However, she's been doing this since 2011, so I've got a lottttt to go through: She is my new hero. Like her on Facebook and follow her on Youtube . 

This guest post was written by Mr. Ben Branstetter, a fellow Pennsylvanian. Dec 21 2012 Not too long ago, Ke$ha released the video to “Die Young," her first single off her upcoming Warrior album. The song is about what you’d expect: lots of synth, a cloying hook, lyrics about partying and celebrating trash. However, the video features a hodgepodgery of odd shapes and symbols, ranging from roughly a million triangles to pentagrams to animal parts. As this sort of thing is prone to do, the video forced the YouTube commenters of the world to break out their Illuminati conspiracy theories, because the financial elite and powerful overlords that control our world and it’s fate couldn’t find a better charlatan for their message than a drunken Trans Am owner with a dollar sign in her name--which of course hints to all the Freemason imagery on the dollar bill...it all makes sense now! Check out Mark Dice (“media analyst, political activist, and author”) tear down the s...

People love being jerks online. This is a reality. It's easy and also cowardly, you know? And no place is this more prominent than YOUTUBE.  Well, check out this piece of historical footage (concerning a man who witnessed the assasination of Abraham Lincoln; he was the last living witness to that event.  what I love about this? how respectful the comments are. Not one nasty thing I can see. I mean, I'm genuinely impressed, because even on video clips where I thought no one could manage to sink low- I've been shocked to read some things people will write! This is some rare internet business, friends, but I'm happy to see it.  (also, it totally blows my mind this guy managed to see Lincoln shot. I'm always fascinated by people who have seen so much history in their lifetime). 

Fact:  this was put together by Gotye himself- let me just get mine ready...

are we having fun yet? ... I missed out on the loop a lot in Edinboro. Do I regret this? Hell no. I wish I could have missed out on more to be perfectly honest with you! But Brook White deserves to be recognized for his effortless attempts to make the universe (not just Edinboro University!) laugh. And although I never got the chance to meet Brook and have only witnessed various going-ons via the magic of my safe place in cyberspace.  Brook's first venture into the world of youtubable (is that a word? whatever it just happened) was College Life With Brook White.  SEE IT FOR YOURSELF. But now he's taken it upon himself to start his own variety show a la the Late Show  or something of that nature. Oh?!?! Enter BROOK WHITE TONITE, which has a reach farther than a little area in Pennsylvania. Well it's the era of the internet....whatever I don't know.  ENTER OUR AWKWARD FACEBOOK INTERVIEW Brook:   We still doing this thing little Kemp? Britt: ...

As we get closer to St. Patrick’s Day, we have many more gems and emeralds to spread around. This particular one is a Useless Critic upload, available on TheUselessCritic youtube channel. It got almost no views and plays, and the world is missing out. I first heard these two songs from Library CD from the “Muldoon Public Library” in Anchorage Alaska. “Paddy Carty’s” is an amazing song. That’s the best way to explain it. If you are searching for some serious Irish music, try this one out. When I first heard this, the words that came to mind to describe it were “Irish Party Music.” It sounds like a festive Irish pub or dance hall just going wild. Energy. Passion. and Celebration. The opening notes just explode into a wave of creativity. QATFYG: What is your Party Music? Have you ever been to an Irish party? If you are interested in reading a segment from my unfinished novel "Emeralds, Africans, and Eating with Chopsticks," drop me a line.

my question to you is:  IS THE OTHER TWIN STILL ALIVE? :/ although they are dancing like victims of a cult, it's quite a depressing video. 

After catching this video from WuMaame TV, and seeing their set of African Pick Up Lines, The UC is going to challenge them to see if we can outdo them. Why? Because there is a lot of Africa to go around. WuMaame TV’s lines are pretty good such as “Be my first wife.” And “Is your father a terrorist? Cos your body is da bomb.” The UC African Pick Up Lines: You’re so hot, you make the Kalahari look like a kindergarten sandbox. Hope you like it rough cos am gonna be da Lion, and you gonna be da Wildebeest. I will ride you like a gorilla trying to hump a camel….dats right Insane! Afterwards, I’ll buy you the goat you wanted. You’re so hot, you make the jungle look like a white man’s golf course. You can call me Nile, cos this is longest one you’ll ever see. If you come back to my place, I’ll feed you….hope you like meat. Waka Waka Hey Hey, it’s time for something big to go into Africa. I know you’re a scammer, but I’d still be up for phone sex. Lastly, American Passport! (nuff said) PS: T...

So this is my attempt to make a Metal Rolodex. I tried to edit the songs, so they would fit together smoothly, but that didn't really work out. It's kind of rough. Also, I thought it would be interesting to use some of my own edited photos, but now it really doesn't look much like a Roladex. So I think I prefer AWM's version of the Rolodex. This was still fun to make though. QATFYG: Who can make a better metal rolodex/mix than me? Please say, "Yes you can."

People make montages for everything. EVERYTHANG. I kid you not, I found a tribute to Marion done to Shaggy's "Angel." SOME PEOPLE JUST HAVE NO TASTE. MARION SET TO EDITH PIAF ENJOY IT, SAVOR IT, LIGHT SOME CANDLES AND LICK IT yeah, youtube is such an odd sociological phenomenon to me.  also, this exists:   LIKE I SAID, ODD SOCIOLOGICAL PHENOMENON. I rather watch a Marion montage than some up-close footage of Noni's feet. fun fact:  I will fantasize about these two things later. 

This is a video of Marion Cotillard gasping in pain after she was pricked in the chest by the French cultural minister, who was trying to deliver some goods. Why am I posting this video? Just to say. Dear / Mon cher Minister of Culture, Next time, prick your ladies with something BIGGER you needlefish! By the way, these were the comments directly below the video. • A voir absolument sur youtube : Selektt festivity Watch absolutely on youtube : Selektt festivity newsmusicful 1 year ago • Il est pas trés douer le pauvre!! ^^' jujulie06400 1 year ago Reply • auuuchh! jajajaja ------------Spanish Laughter Gabowakko 1 year ago • BOYCOTT ISRAEL egalite92 1 year ago • she said, that men dont look her eyes, instead her breast... even she put a plastic breast in hes face, now she get what she wants, Mitterrand look her face not her breast that's why she get pricked, next time marion don't talk. QATFYG: If some people get damned, would you not feel sorry for them?

This is a day where I get to share Guitar Wall stuff with the general public and the general world. I am sharing this because this guitarist is so awesome. She is even more awesome than those photos of Blake Lively the guys tossed around on Facebook, and she is even more of a guitarist than Doooooty from Grease . I encountered this guitarist known simply as Ronnie from Botswana, and she puts on a show with the guitar. Botswana Regalia Showstopping pretty much. There are tons of videos of her on Youtube, but they need more hits. QATFYG: Would you eat Zebra meat?

I once posted a song from Benny Lava in a post called "Another Asian Music Party." In 2008, I found a comical song from him on Youtube, and as funny as it was, there was something else that really stood out to me. Indian Men can dance. Dance like their pants Are filled with ants. Kind of dance. This is Bollywood Week, and I used to tell people that if you wanted to see the best choreography in the world, look at either Benny Lava or Bollywood. More importantly, people really seem to like the way he talks :P. QATFYG: What is your sexy dance? Does it involve sparklers?

I'm holding off on my Chris Bell interview until I get his OK. I am not that big of a jerk! p.s. CONGRATS TO MY FRIENDS IN ARCADE FIRE my friend from Ohio, Matthew Morich , has been making his own music for a while now. what he does seems like it has a lot of potential, a lot of originality, which are qualities I respect. hence why I decided to ask him a few questions about what he's doing. I strongly urge you to click on the link to his youtube account at the end of this post....you won't regret it, really. have I ever been wrong? NO. as you'll see, he uses his music to raise some interesting ideas and concepts. read on.... q: When did you start making music? a: I started writing and recording acoustic stuff when I was 15 or 16. But my electronic project, neonsentient , began when I was 18. q: Where do you draw inspiration from? I was first inspired to make electronically-based music after hearing the song “Smell Memory” off of múm ’s 2000 album Yesterday Was Dramati...

So I just made this video, and I am looking for some feedback. QATFYG: Is it bad? Is it terrible? Is there too much Cuba Gooding Jr? There is no better place on Earth than the Useless Critic audience to get some fuck-ing honesty?

So another group that is totally boss is George Smed’s Hot Noodles (with Sauce). I almost pulled off a decent rhyme…close but no cigar gosh dammit. This is a musical style that was practically invented for Nader Bouberhan (that doesn’t happen very often). Back when Britt posted The Yelle Interview, I was reminded of George Smed and the noodle-tricked out duo. I once requested an interview from George, and I don’t think he ever got back to me. Never-the-less, I am still a fan. Or if you speak British English, “I am like WICKED obsessed.” The group is a two person act from Ohio, and George Smed is on bass and lead vocals, forming a bass and drums combo. I love the lyrics, and overall, there is just a strong comedic feel that owns. It owns! I learned of George Smed because of his videos as a solo bass guitarist. He puts out some original compositions that are entertaining and well-performed, and he also adds some covers and arrangements of other pieces that are equally BA (stands for bad...

So this is a time of the year where we say goodbye. Goodbye 2010. And I am reminded that I am in the midst of amazing tradition. During each winter and spring season, I get to devote my life to Michael and Michael. The first Michael is Michael C. Hall. And he’s now single – All you Foxy Ladies control yourselves— But I have a tradition during the spring months, where I let my obsession with “Dexter” go wild. Congrats once again to Michael C. Hall on winning the globe for his stellar performance as the enigmatic serial killer that is “Dexter Morgan.” The second Michael is Michael Buckley who is a star web celeb and is the host of the “What the Buck Show.” He is hilarious, and he is climbing the ranks of the entertainment industry. Seriously, visit www.buckhollywood.com …good times good times. I started living like this in the winter/spring of 2009, where I would just sit at home and watch Dexter on DVD and What the Buck Show on the internet. Good times, good times.....no seriously, they...

I am bringing up some old news. So I posted this video on Twitter once, declaring it was the "Creepiest Video on Youtube." But some other site took my Tweet, and decided to label it under my name. Nader Bouberhan's Video! I hope the five people that went to that site, did not think I was the one who made it. So, the reason I bring this up is because I am going to post a video today *hopefully* and I think it may top this one as the creepiest video on Youtube. I might not be able to post because the internet here in Algeria is awful. Also, I am really hyper. Why am I so hyper? Because i am finally back on a somewhat decent server, and I have the afternoon open to post. Good times. Good times. QATFYG: Have you ever made a creepy video? (If no, why not?)

on this Memorial Day: if I was the producer of some high-end Hollywood film I would stick this song in there. this girl has a lot of talent; watch out for her!

Sup homedogs? Sorry about the lack of posts lately. Moving across the world, working, etc kind of sucks up a lot of time. I should have a little more time now so I'll try to get back to posting on a semi-regular basis again. Something I enjoy doing is typing in a random word or grouping of letters into the search bar in iTunes and playing whatever comes up. It's a great way to find songs and bands which have been lost in the annals of your iTunes folders. Tonight I typed in "call." Here's a short selection of the songs I heard: Listen on YouTube: Islands - Don't Call Me Whitney, Bobby Florence and the Machine - I'm Not Calling You A Liar Long Distance Calling - I Know You, Stanley Milgram! Eric Prydz - Call On Me Watch: Download: Bjork - Alarm Call (view video above) Call Me Alice - Life 101 Out Hud - Dad, There's A Little Phrase Called Too Much Information