The Useless Critic 2.0

I got Facebook back in 2006. There are few pictures on Facebook in 2006. What they had to give me were celebrity pictures my friends and I apprehended for giggles (teeheehee.) Oh, and one memorable librarian (which got my 18-year-old self in trouble, lolz.) My Facebook movie was cute. Most of the updates were from the past year ("Hey everyone, I'm not dead!" "YAY, YOU'RE NOT DEAD!") I couldn't help but be a LITTLE disappointed. So, summoning my inner Peter Jackson, here is what that movie should have been like: 2006: Break up with Scarlett Johansson Years later, in interview after stepping down as the Oxfam ambassador: "You know, sometimes I wonder about the poor decisions I've made. And I haven't made a lot because I'm nearly perfect, but like marrying Ryan Reynolds letting Britt get away was just a big mistake. I cry about it a lot." (like) 2007: Break stuff with Britney Spears Britney said: "Bri...

Back with my poetry series. Cha! Here's the poet I picked for my poetry workshop project: EUGEN JEBELEANU (1911-1991), one of Romania's most important and challenging 20th century poets, is virtually unknown in the West. He published more than 12 collections of poems, received numerous prestigious European literary awards (including the Italian Taormina Prize, and the Austrian Herder Prize), and in the 1970s was nominated by the Romanian Academy for the Nobel Prize. FLOWERS AT THE STATUE OF EMINESCU Why you would find this useful, nobody knows. Meaning it isn't useful at all. The poetry of poverty is getting stronger everywhere. The only strong ones are those who can mount. The horses get weaker and weaker, and the horsemen more and more bestial. And the ribs of the horses are solar jewels in the prison of dead visions. And we deserve all these things because we have earned them. Now you are bronze, and you don't care about anything. Or, maybe, I don't know ... Beca...