The Useless Critic 2.0

Miercoles es Grande! Whatever that means. I don’t speak any Spanish, but it is Wednesday, and in the late hours of the Twilight , I am sending out my Spotlight. Hey Kristen Stewart…tickle this pickle! Jerry Gergich is the man, and this is all his. It has been a long time since I have written a spotlight like this, where it goes to a character that doesn’t actually exist. See Spotlight/Shoutout: Jason Bourne. Jerry Gergich is the boss, and the world is his applesauce. He is portrayed by Jim O’Heir on the show “Parks and Recreation.” Jerry is the forgotten heart of the show. He doesn’t even get a credit in the theme song. Jerry is a fantastically-skilled painter, even though he has the tendency to turn small Indian men into fat babies, but even Jesus had his foibles. People always try to put Jerry down, but really, he is a warm-hearted individual. Sometimes he uses words like “murinal,” but that is no reason to make him feel any lower. Jerry is my man, and I know that if he were to exist...

Oh yes, for the first time the spotlight/shoutout goes to a person that does not actually exist. …………………..For some people. For others Jason Bourne is everywhere, and yet he is still nowhere. Magnificent is it not? And Jason Bourne earns this week’s s/s of honor because it is official; there will be another Bourne movie, turning the series into a quadrilogy. It is scheduled to come out in 2011, and the Bourne series is some of actor Matt Damon’s best work. I wonder if it’s possible to do a Matt Damon post without mentioning “Good Will Hunting?” TOO LATE. Back to Bourne, Jason Bourne first came onto the scene in the 1980 in the novels by Robert Ludlum. RL wrote the original three novels. (Bourne Identity, Bourne Supremacy, and Bourne Ultimatum) and then the character has been carried on in novels by Eric Van Lustbader!! Now that is a solid name. The Jason Bourne novels are completely different than the movies, and I’m not just talking about a few details. Really, the only major similarit...