The Useless Critic 2.0

Unexpected but nonetheless great, extremely underrated synthpop musician Class Actress has been gradually releasing music off her EP, "Sense Memory," this year. First came some pretty solid covers - The Smiths, Mazzy Star, and her EXCELLENT reimagining of "The Hills" by The Weeknd - and then some original songs followed.  "Airwaves" was an interesting, atmospheric, trippy track - not super similar to past efforts, but close enough that it wasn't a total detour from her earlier discography - but "Saint Patrick," her latest, is the desperate, frantic, sexy  longing I've come to love in a Class Actress song.  Take some time before the weekend completely disappears to check out this specific song: Also, I would like to call out how on point Elizabeth Harper's vocals are in "Saint Patrick." Her voice has only improved in the past decade. I'm not sure what Class Actress's future music plans are as of this moment, but I hop...

Sup party people. I realize I've really, really, really neglected my precious baby website as I've aged - and not intentionally. Life happened. Life is weird, and I can only handle so many things at once (as most people are equipped to do.)  ANYWAYZ I'm going to change that. Or, I'm going to say I'm going to change it but secretly do nothing. Choose your own adventure. Let's start by talking pop music. Did you know The Weeknd is Taylor Swift with better hair? NO, REALLY, I promise. And if you haven't cried at least *once* while having sex to "1989," then who are you? Don't answer that actually. Hi Mom. The Weeknd dropped his EP "My Dear Melancholy" last week, and I was fortunate enough to first hear it with my Lyft driver. I was going to ask my Lyft driver more about the album and what he thought of it, but then my Lyft driver was like, "Can you look up the times for the new "God Isn't Dead" movie?"...

Damn, another year is coming to an end. I know I've been MIA for quite some time, but this has been quite a busy year for me, especially in the second half. Still, I obviously wouldn't miss the chance to share my annual list of my personal favorite songs of the year (in no particular order), which has pretty much become a tradition since 2012 . BANKS, "Gemini Feed" Two years after blessing us mortals with her masterpiece of a debut album, Goddess , my girl Jillian Banks is back with The Altar , otherwise known as the album that saved 2016. The brooding "Gemini Feed" features the LA chanteuse's signature biting lyrics as she dissects a relationship with an emotionally manipulative ex. "I tried a thousand times / I tried to say 'I love you,' but you didn't hear me / And you're passive-aggressive / Convinced me other people, they don't care about me," BANKS purrs over eerie synths and a hypnotic backbeat. Jillian, stop...

Everyone has been raving about this song lately, so I had to check it out. I love The Weeknd, even though I feel his music has declined in quality since his rise to popularity. Verdict on this song? I love the production - definitely a work by Daft Punk - and his breathing in the chorus. But I don't know. I'm not blown away by this. 2016's been a shitty song for pop music, or maybe I'm just getting older. Like, I outright refuse to get a Snapchat. Why should I? Because I will constantly be Snapchatting myself drinking things with pumpkin in them and Smores being cute. Aw, Smores. The Weeknd deserves the recognition he's been receiving because he's incredibly talented, but I miss the rawness of his earlier work. That being said, I will say he's the most creative mainstream pop star out there, and I have complete respect for him. Maybe I would feel different about this song if I listened to it while clubbing with my ladies in Scottsdale? I don't...

Los Angeles siren BANKS has dropped the highly artistic and incredibly sensual video for her eerie, smoldering new track "Better." It is the first single from her upcoming second album, which, according to an interview with Beats 1 's Zane Lowe earlier today, is supposed to come out "early, early next year," though further details have yet to surface. In the meantime, BANKS is currently opening for The Weeknd's Beauty Behind the Madness tour in North America. Can you imagine if these two collaborated on a song? That would seriously scream SEX. Ugh, my body is so ready for a second BANKS album! If there's a recent album that has had a profound impact on me, it's her eargasmic debut album Goddess . If you haven't checked it out yet, you're a damn fool, because it was easily one of the best albums of 2014. I might even write a retrospective review of it sometime.

I included some Christmas music as well as secular music. That M.I.A/Weeknd song? Wow. She really can't sing but there is something entirely intoxicating about it. I'm not sure what to make of the new stuff by the Sounds; "Sweet Tooth" by Blue Hawaii is something you MUST hear, as is Arcade Fire's "Joan of Arc." "Let Me Back In" and "Memoir" are more somber than the rest of the tracks. However, the holidays are proving to be a bit hard for me this year. I really don't think the Flaming Lips' version of "Just Like Starting Over" compares to John Lennon, but Spotify sucks about anything Beatles-related. It will do, pig, it will do.

A while ago, AWM posted about Frank Ocean , who is pretty good in a chill way (I've since checked him out). Check out the Weeknd from Toronto, who is basically, more or less, THE SAME THING. I was sold when I read the last.fm comments about him. apparently you should have sex to this guy. also he doesn't know how to spell the Weekend. but he samples Beach House and Chris Isack. IF YOU LIKE:  pained sex pain during sex crying during sex THEN