The Useless Critic 2.0

Leave it to this time of year to bring out my inner basic bitch. I am currently prepared with Christmas coffee, Christmas coffee creamer, an array of semi-ridiculous sweaters mostly from my Mom, and a genuine desire to watch "Love Actually" or "The Holiday" every other night. Yes, Jude Law, Cameron Diaz. Beautiful straight people. Not sure why it's not on Netflix, but some sins you just can't rectify. Enter: Christmas music. I'm not the biggest fan as there are so many turds out there, but there are some Christmas staples ya gotta have. Mannheim Steamroller?!?! Yes. Yes. Yes. She & Him's Christmas album? Of course, I only listen to that when paired with an overpriced sweater from Urban Outfitters (that will likely unravel in two months). JOSH GROBAN? Gurlfrand, you don't even know . That "Ave Maria," if it doesn't give you chills, you are probably dead inside. That being said, my beloved Norwegian Mr. Little Jeans released...

I know I kind of sucked at doing this, so forgive me. But here's a song I just discovered with no relation to the Zombies' classic. Their voices blend together in such an unexpectedly gorgeous way; it's a pretty easy Christmas song to digest. Merry Christmas- enjoy yours!

Kate Nash has several Christmas songs so to speak. AND, HER LATEST Which, as Ms. Nash explained,  "[It's for] anyone who has just been f---ed over by a boyfriend or girlfriend," Nash told MTV News, revealing that the song is based "roughly" on personal experience. "Christmas always makes you think of people that you've loved or do love or you're still in love with. It's a good Christmas anthem for people in that situation." Hmmm....

I don't have any words for this, either. Thanks to my sister for sending this to me.

~ Moar moar moar ~ Want a (free or pay-what-you-want) Christmas song? Of course you do! Who doesn't! And Sofia Talvik is a long-time (Swedish) Useless Critic favorite. Download, share, support- click here ! There's also more good news concerning Sofia: She'll be touring the United States again next year. Something to definitely look forward to. Here's Sofia's story behind the song: Every year I release a free Christmas single as a gift to all my fans. This year, since I'm spending Christmas in Berlin, I figured I should write a Christmas song about Berlin.  Berlin is a complex city, it’s both new and old, rich and poor and that triggered my imagination for this song. A friend of mine told me about his apartment in Friedrichshain which is huge, but run down. They're on the top floor but there are holes in the roof in the attic above them, and sometimes the heating goes out in the middle of winter and leaves the flat very cold. This reminded me ...

I love No Doubt. Always have, always will. You know this. This is one of my least favorite No Doubt songs, but I can still appreciate it this time of year. IF GOD CAME DOWN ON CHRISTMAS DAY, I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT'D HE SAY BTW this is the Gwen I fell in love with. Especially toward the end. I die; I just die.

Before you give me any problems whatsoever, Josh Groban's "Noel" album is a classic. I have it on Amazon. He kills "Ave Maria" in a way that gives me chills.  Christmas is Josh's TIME TO SHINE. I can't stand "You Raise Me Up" either or most of that inspirational new age-y stuff he does, but the boy kills at Christmas.  Plus, Josh Groban is an awesome guy and every so often I tweet to him.

Growing up, I adored Ryan Adams. If I had met him in high school, I probably would have slept with him. I can not be held responsible for the imagined happenings of my adolescence. This is an "old" Ryan Adams song, but he has become so prolific I can't keep up. However, the Parker he is referring to is his ex-girlfriend, Parker Posey. It's just a sweet little Christmas-themed song about how much he misses her at the holidays. This is from like 2002 or something. You read that? IT, OLD.  I wrote a similar Christmas song in elementary school called "Hey David Hyde Pierce, It's Christmastime." ;)

Not Just Because He's Dead - I think this is an okay Christmas song- certainly not my first choice. My sister adores this song, though. And, considering the anniversary of his death (33 years), I figured this was a fair choice. Not Celine Dion's heartless slaughter of it: Also, here is a John Lennon song I love, which came out roughly the same time he was killed: Oh, Yoko!

I know I have slacked the past two days. I know, I know. You don't have to remind me! This song is like my Christmas sweater: a little embarrassing, but it nevertheless happens. It "serves a purpose." I know, I might as well have admitted to enjoying "The Big Bang Theory" (eww.) I hope you derive some joy from it! It's such a happy little song from two `90s Canadian powerhouses. 

So, Mr. Stevens has a ton of Xmas music out. Like, if you weighed it. It would be a ton. But this is my personal favorite. I hope we hear more from Sufjan soon, just in general. He's so talented. Do you remember how big he was in the noughties? I do! Him and his scraped 50-state project. Lolz. Here's a bonus secular song to get you through today: And another personal favorite: Hey random girl covering Sufjan songs! You have a good day! XOXOXOXOX

Song of the Day (It's kinda depressing) I think the holidays may be the height of suicide season? That's what I read anyway...

More Seasonal Music That Won't Make You Tear Your Wig Out "December"- Norah Jones Per se this isn't a Christmas song, but it's gorgeous anyway. I love Norah Jones; if loving her is wrong I never would like to be right. :)

I t's the politically correct holiday season again! Lest we forget, there are a ton of holiday songs out there. Some much harder-to-listen-to than the others.   Wah wah wah So I'm going to use the next 25 days to bring you the best in holiday music. Let's start with a song I posted last year. I heard it when I was shopping yesterday, which was weird but awesome. It's "I Was Born on Christmas Day" by Saint Etienne.