The Useless Critic 2.0

Dancing with the Stars first thoughts: WHYYYYYY second thoughts: I'M IN SO MUCH PAIN RIGHT NOW third thoughts: "THIS IS THE JIVE; I DIDN'T SEE JIVE." fun fact about the jive: "the jive" was actually an STD WWII soldiers brought home with them after being stationed in the Pacific. it was slowly spread in the baby boom period following WWII because these men wanted to have sex and these women wanted to be housewives. the dance mimicked the gestures of furiously seeking "relief of the genitals." fact!!!! anyway, I have to say, Kendra's breakdown was quite real. seriously, I felt that in my body, that for her to be seen not as strictly as a "tomboy" and become a "lady" with "confidence"- that was like, Precious -like moving. this is what I remember of it: "PEOPLE THINK I'M THIS PLAYBOY CONFIDENT GIRL AND I'M JUST I'M JUST NOT HER OH MY GOD PEOPLE I JUST WANT TO BE A LADY." see who does NOT have ...

The new crop of potential Next Top Models has been released! After the absolute perfection that was last season's winner (Nicole, aka The Best Model This Damn Show Has Ever Seen), it'll be hard for this season to produce someone of equal quality as a winner. Based on the photos... it'll be very hard. Here's an example: (View photos of this season's cast on LiveJournal .) I am, shall we say, somewhat underwhelmed. But then again, the pre-show photos are always underwhelming. My favorites are probably Simone, Brenda, Krista, and Jessica. Naduah is interesting, but, um, her hair. Well. Yes. On the plus side, this season has Andre Leon Talley, Editor-at-Large of Vogue magazine, as a judge. Maybe he'll give the show some legitimacy? No, wait, just kidding. What do you think? Who's going to be AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL????!!!!

Ever want to have Paris Hilton pump your gas? And just as it implies? Not some weird sexual metaphor? Me too! CBS has this reality series, I Get That A Lot , which I'm quite curious on seeing. It places celebrities i.e. Paris Hilton and Snoop Dogg in everyday situations- working menial jobs, where you'd never guess to see them- and films people's reactions to it. I think it's kind of genius. The first episode showed the world the Subway guy, Jared, actually working at a Subway. TOO MUCH, TOO MUCH. Jessica Simpson works as a computer technician here: According to the wise folks at Wikipedia: The second episode airs on CBS January 6, 2010 at 8:00 PM. Participants include KISS guitarist Gene Simmons working as a psychic guru, socialite Paris Hilton working as a gas station attendant, Big Brother and The Early Show host Julie Chen working at a yogurt shop, skater Tony Hawk working at a surf shop, hip-hop artist Snoop Dogg taking on the role as a parking lot attendant, and c...

So in the neverending story of how reality television dominated the world, it is impossible to overlook where it all began. "The Real World" was one of the first shows that pulled Amerikay and the rest of the globe into reality tv, and it still hasn't been canceled. Tonight was the premiere of it's latest location, where 8 strangers live in a Washington D.C. house and do God knows what... Yes, that's 8...not 7. This season on the show where people stop being polite and start being real, there are 4 guys and 4 girls out there to enchant us. So yeah, this season there are some people who will be really interesting and others that are totally fake and not worth a second of your time. One jerk/woman was so annoying...she's all like "I heart obama! I own a passport,but I've never used it." Another was a blonde nincompoop, who has nothing to say. There is also a rather attractive girl who grew up in the church but is now a wild child. And of course.......