The Useless Critic 2.0

I have always adored the Oscars, because I love celebrities and I love good movies. I'm also vapid. Love me, hate me. So, as goes without even introducing anymore, here comes your Useless Critic utterly useless thoughts on the nominations, which were announced today . I don't think any of the Best Picture nominations were surprises. And I'm pretty glad they've kept the category so large. It allows more room for interesting picks (read: abandon hope NOW.) "Nebraska" has been getting a TON of buzz, arguably the most "dark horse" of all candidates. And let's face it: This race is going to come down to "American Hustle" vs. "Gravity." Seriously: Where have I been? I was a bit disappointed about several things though, none of them being Jennifer Lawrence's cleavage.  Ahem. Where was I? 1.) "Before Midnight" only getting ONE  nomination. There is so much to love about t...

I just returned from a late breakfast at the bus stop. I know that sounds glamorous, and believe me, Kim Kardashian dreams of my lifestyle. Actually I was doing a lot of thinking. Seeing as how I'm now returning to normal so to speak, my thoughts aren't as morbid or as masochistic as they have been. I'm going to share them with the world now. 1.) Miley Cyrus insults Sinead O'Connor's mental health- Okay, I am a fan of neither, but that is just LOW. Scumbag low. That's like insulting someone's physical condition. As you can deduce by my previous post, I kinda hate Miley. And I think Sinead is not the greatest but Miley has proven herself to be a tactless bitch. I am no Freud, but I think Ms. Cyrus has her own demons, so it's like the pot calling kettle black, really. 2.) Mia Farrow discusses Woody Allen's alleged sexual abuse in Vanity Fair- This was news to me. I love Woody Allen; he's a talented writer and director. However, it...

Jack? Warning:  I have been building up some bitchiness and here, I unleash it on "Argo," "Lincoln" and "The Life of Pi." Hi all. I've been in a creative slump lately, so forgive me for my silence. I may have broken my brain. However, the Golden Globes have become my favorite awards show over the years....so I can't NOT post about them. Plus, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler are hosting them in 2013. That must be in the Bible, somewhere. So here are the nominations that just came out and my profound, half-awake thoughts on them: - I like how "The Dark Knight" was snubbed from nearly everything. I read this might have something to do with the Aurora shooting. That's horrible, but could be the case. - I like how Anne Hathaway is still existing. You go girl! - Who gives a shit about "Argo?" Or "Lincoln?" Why are you people all acting like "Lincoln" is groundbreaking WE ALL KNOW HOW IT ENDS - Who is ...

- That Jennifer Lawrence is in it and she is hot. Winter's Bone much? Like it wasn't obvious or something!  - That it's basically Twilight  meets the Minotaur. - That, unlike one Bella Swan, this protagonist actually has a backbone of sorts. - That apparently it smashed box office records in several thousand different ways this past weekend. - That LizRo has never read da books either and that will make this experiencing 50000 times better. - At least American adolescents are reading? Right? RESPECTTTTTTTT - WHAT I SEE ON TUMBLR IS TOO MUCH - I wish the Republican presidential candidates had to go through a process akin to the Hunger Games . we will see what happens.