The Useless Critic 2.0

March 20th marks Mr. Fred Rogers' 84th birthday. Of course he's dead, so like, he's not celebrating it. You feel me? Mr. Rogers was one cool dude. In one post , I named him a MAN OF THE CENTURY. I stand by that accusation. Mr. Rogers had a really good heart, he was sincere, he was religious but he wasn't obnoxious about it, he loved kids in a non-creepy non-Michael Jackson way, he genuinely cared about other people, and he wore really great sweaters (BETTER THAN RICK SANTORUM WHY DO I KEEP HEARING HIS NAME MAKE THE NIGHTMARE STOP).  I mean, read this for further proof. Mr. Rogers was (in spite of all the people that mock him) an admirable human being. And kids TV show sure could use a guy like him now. What's all this crap on the TV for children anymore?!? My favorite part of his shows was when he took on one pair of shoes and put on another. And he sat down to explain it. I was HYPNOTIZED by that. seriously, hypnotized. back in the good old days when the w...

To be fair, I am not a fan of kids movies. Even when I was a kid I wasn't that much. I liked them, but I often gravitated towards the PG-slanted fare. Or, to be real with you, I made my parents rent The Royal Tenebaums . Which my dad hated more than anything I've ever showed him ("WHAT IS THIS SHIT.")  But the whole Pooh series, books and movies and TV shows, has always held a special place in my weird dank heart. probably because that's like one of my biggest memories of those very strange days before I started school and was stuck at home with my mom every afternoon. I watched a lot of Pooh. I read the books, or tried to. A.A. Milne wrote them because his son was sick, yeah? Or they were his son's bedtime stories. In Poohverse, as I recall, there is a big schism between what Disney perceived as his stories and the actual authentic stories. This happens whenever Disney touches anything, though. NOT SURPRISING. But I am not really a fan of Milne's Po...

In the second section of the first volume of Marcel Proust’s In Search of Lost Time , “Swann in Love,” when Charles Swann is insisting Odette tell him of her other suspected lovers, his line of reasoning of needing to know follows that he’ll stop bothering her about it so often because being able to picture a thing, to bring it out of the unknown, brings him a sense of relief. “The truly horrifying things,” he continues, “are the ones you can’t imagine.” Early 20th century American poet, Edna Millay, disagrees. As she wrote in “The Unexplorer”— There was a road ran past our house Too lovely to explore. I asked my mother once — she said That if you followed where it led It brought you to the milk-man’s door. (That’s why I have not traveled more.) — Subsequently, it was the mystery of a small dirt road which always had the three year-old version of myself always wanting to walk down it despite never having the confidence of asking my father to take me, and losing the opportunity altogeth...

It's getting very favorable reviews thus far! And that's good! Really good! It better damn well favorable reviews! So are you excited to see this? the plot summary, let's face it, cops from the Brave Little Toaster. Andy grows old; he goes to college. The toys get donated. THE DACHSHUND HAS GRAY FUR WTF ARE THEY TRYING TO DO TO ME! I applaud the creators of the film for actually doing something...err, semi-realistic. you know. because that's life. things get old. people change and move on. It's a sort of nice way to introduce that concept to kids. not like, "Brittany, you can die at anytime. THE HOUSE CAN FALL ON YOU IN YOUR SLEEP." I'm very excited to see this. very excited! I can't wait to feel eight again, you know. I remember all the mean kids loved Buzz Lightyear. I didn't like him, Woody annoyed me. I liked Slinky Dog. RIP JIM VARNEY