The Useless Critic 2.0

I AM leaving tomorrow for SAN DIEGO. I have NEVER been past Cleveland, in terms of this great nation's geography. egads. I'm like Jessie Spano with the caffiene pillz drama right now. SO EXCITED, SO EXCITED, SO SCARED! so very scared. aeroplanes.....mmmyeah I've never had to deal with that before. "My Moon, My Man"- Feist So the Oscars were exciting, from what I saw. not a lot of surprises. but they were still good. I heard some people bitching the other day about how "shitty" films always seem to take top prize....mmmyeah sorry your taste sucks? although I'm going to agree with Al ("Nader"), "The Dark Knight" got robbed! Glad to see "Vicky Cristina Barcelona" got an award. Penelope Cruz owned in that movie. And blah blah "Slumdog" blah blah "Slumdog" blah blah yawn "Slumdog." Still want to see it (my friends inform me it is amazing and etc), a little upset my sentimental favorite "Benj...

So the Oscars are coming up sooner than you think. In fact, they are only a few hours away, and one thing I would like to say before they kickoff the ceremony is “Give some slack to Christopher Nolan!” I would like to see the director of "The Dark Knight", which was one of the best films of the year, nominated for Best Director at the Oscars. The Dark Knight was a fantastic film that destroyed the box office, and it was manned by an equally fantastic director. Nolan turned The Dark Knight into one of the best Batman movies in decades! (Although, some of his fans think he is a lunatic, but that’s beyond the point.) His work should have been rewarded with an Oscar Nomination. However, I should mention that there was some tough competition for Nolan in that category. People like Danny Boyle, Gus Van Sant, and oh yeah Ron Howard are in the ring, so it must have been a hard call. But all that aside more often than not it seems that during award season action movies get the shaft. ...

o hay Matishyahu! I don't know what to think about Mr. Phoenix ditching acting for music. Part of me think it's an asinine move, the other part of me thinks it's hilarious and the remaining part of me (that cares) is like HAHAHAHA YOU'RE AWESOME. I'm kind of curious to see what he does. Joaquin Phoenix is a pretty cool guy. If the fact he now is sporting a beard doesn't confirm that, then I really don't know what does. AND I'm kind of curious to see, you know, if "Two Lovers" isn't the self-indulgent shitty want-to-be-art-film a la "Garden State" I think it might be. http://www.twoloversmovie.com/ but of course it skips here. :( AND THIS JUST IN: Peter Gabriel Pulls Out of Oscars HA HA HA HE PULLED OUT "Gifted f. Kanye West, Santogold and Lykke Li"- N.A.S.A. - Brittany

so in my survey lit class, we're (oh so slowly) going through all the major poets of the early 20th century. and as much as I love poetry- and I do love poetry; a love conceived outside of teacher's lessons plans and more or less spurred on by Def Leppard lyrics- I was very upset to know my professor's idea to skip one of my favorites: HART CRANE. W! T! F! Ever since I started reading him a few years back, I felt the sense of a kindred spirit with Hart Crane. for a myriad of reasons I will not go into. nonetheless, I'm very disappointed with my professor's choice. HOW DO YOU BEAT ANY PART OF "VOYAGES?" Infinite consanguinity it bears This tendered theme of you that light Retrieves from sea plains where the sky Resigns a breast that every wave enthrones; While ribboned water lanes I wind Are laved and scattered with no stroke Wide from your side, whereto this hour The sea lifts, also, reliquary hands. And so, admitted through black swollen gates That must a...

For the past few days I’ve had quite a few David Wain jokes running through my head nonstop. For those of you who aren’t familiar with him, he is a comedian and filmmaker best known for his work with the comedy act, Stella, and co-writing and directing “Wet Hot American Summer” and “Role Models.” David Wain has a unique sense of humor that I don’t really find with a lot of other comedians. I’m tempted to use the phrase, “it’s so bad it’s good,” but I’m not sure if that’s fair. I mean, a lot of his jokes are often in poor taste, but they have a certain alternative flavor about them. In the end, I fine myself laughing like crazy, so I guess the comedian has achieved his goal. The Result--- David Wain: Good Comedian!! Here are some samples of his work. http://www.davidwain.com/ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MijUbQtW0cE http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=saoV5PXEynI Oh and don’t ever go into a chat room and open with, “Wow, it’s been a weird day. I feel like David Wain.” You will get the weir...

As some of you must have noticed the beloved sitcom, SCRUBS, has moved to a new network. Yes the wonderful medical staff of Sacred Heart Hospital has moved from NBC to ABC, but is it the same? For the most part yes, but one thing that really stands out to me is the character, Elliot Reid, played by Sarah Chalke, seems to have lost a lot of her charm. Throughout the early years of SCRUBS Chalke really captured the essence of her role and transformed the character of Dr. Reid into an adorably quirky and attractive woman that pleased the audiences to no end. But something is missing about Elliot Reid on this new season. Is it her rekindled romance with co-star J.D.? Is it her interactions with new interns? Or is it that new haircut? It’s hard to say, but all that is certain to me is that something just isn’t right. Hopefully, in the next few episodes she will regain that charisma that the character of Elliot Reid truly possesses, and what the deuce is up with Zach Braff and that beard? Wh...

I uploaded these bbz for a friend because I killed my router a few weeks ago? true story I kicked it and it as thirty dollars at Target so I guess you can't expect much: "Heartbeat"- Annie http://www.sendspace.com/file/saifi0 "Katherine Kiss Me"- Franz Ferdinand- http://www.sendspace.com/file/ww8eaz "Paris"- Friendly Fires- http://www.sendspace.com/file/l64ptk "Dreamworld"- Rilo Kiley http://www.sendspace.com/file/zbqrdq (note: WMA) "Sunday, Lovely Sunday"- Edson http://www.sendspace.com/file/t8x544 "You Could Have Both"- The Long Blondes http://www.sendspace.com/file/xcjguy "My Favourite Book"- Stars- http://www.sendspace.com/file/zr9i1p and also: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/tara-stiles/help-im-addicted-to-faceb_b_166726.html WHO? ME? I CERTAINLY HAVE MET ALL MY FRIENDS. IN FLESH. AND STUFF. I LOVE GOD? and I'm not this much in love with the Huffington Post...no, really....how's that "30 Rock...

so I haven't been watching "30 Rock" like I should have been lately. because it's the best show on TV, right? YES. YES IT IS. anyway, by a miracle, I was able to catch the last five minutes of the most recent episode, all V-Day themed. loved it! http://www.nbc.com/30_Rock/video/categories/season-3/777501/ music tomorrow. later. I had a nice holiday, I think. considering. - Brittany

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/02/12/nadya-sulemans-ocutplet-p_n_166276.html EHHHHHH

So apparently on Facebook you can no longer create a profile under the name Miley Ray Cyrus. If you try to it will deny your request. What if there is some poor soul out there who also bears that name and is denied the chance at social luxury? Oh and I should mentioned that I did not come across this information by trial and defeat. Like I'm that kind of guy :)Let’s say I heard it from a friend, who prefers to remain anonymous. ;) So don’t go around impersonating Miley Ray…because well you can't. (on Facebook anyway) But feel free to do it in real life as much as you want. Just don't post it on Youtube. Please. :P QATFYG: If you would impersonate a celebrity who would it be?

http://www.last.fm/music/Pelle+Carlberg/_/Pamplona?autostart good song.

...a rarity. yeah, I get these bands friending me left-and-right. and that's the only reason I have a MySpace (other than to pick up fourteen-year-olds, of course). it's helped me score a few interviews. I make an effort not to friend people I know in reality on it anymore. kind of ruins it for me. this isn't the eleventh grade! hello, facebook. well, this girl, Amanda Zelina, sent me a request yesterday and she's worth a listen or two or sixty-three: http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewProfile&friendID=36592249 download "Obsessed" on last.fm for free: http://www.last.fm/music/Amanda+Zelina LISTEN TO HER BEFORE SHE UNDERSTANDABLY GETS HUGE AND YOU CAN SAY YOU FOUND OUT HERE FIRST. :O Certainly better than most of those VH1 "Flavors of the Month." Except Lenka. I like Lenka. I sincerely doubt we get more than three hits a day. it's cool. hi, mom. I shouldn't be updating- I'm in major/minor freakout mode right now. ...

The Results First Place: Eva Longoria Parker (Gabrielle) :) Last Place: Everybody else!! :( ***With the honorable mention going to… Felicity Huffman (Lynette) ------------because of her sexy dance. Here check it out. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHM_3E6BJcA Okay, so my results were a little one-sided, but what kind of guy would I be if I didn’t put ELP at the top? Figuratively speaking of course. And yes she’s my top housewife even though she has that really toothy smile. (I can let that slide.) It's too bad I didn't catch Eva in "Over Her Dead Body," but I didn't know what to think about that film. Nevertheless, one thing is certain...We all need to see more movies with ELP!! QATFYG: Who is your favorite "Desperate Housewife?" PS: High five Tony Parker!! You really know how to play your game. Of course I'm talking about basketball. Wink Wink.

I totally have "Raising Sand" on my hard drive, mofo: http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/sashafrerejones/?xrail I personally am glad they trumped Coldplay. more on this later.

sigh: http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/thedishrag/2009/02/claire-danes--1.html it doesn't help that they look beautiful together!!!!! Typical Day in the Life of Hugh Dancy and Claire Danes: - spoon while watching Bravo - doing Yoga together - feeding each other Banana splits together naked - not gaining weight from the naked-Banana-splits time - giving birth to golden retrievers. THE END

Like many people I was heartbroken when Jennifer Morrison, the dashing and vibrant Allison Cameron on "House M.D." had her character’s role reduced, so I was delighted to see in one of the recent episodes she takes over as the Chief for a day sort of thing and finally getting some decent screen time. Morrison is one of my favorite actresses. I love the way she pulls off the smart, sassy, and sexy demeanor. (Which I like to call SSSD) And no I don’t really miss Jesse Spencer…. But really who does? :) But now Jennifer Morrison has had time to work on a new film entitled “Table for Three”, a romantic comedy hopefully to be released in 2009, which co-stars Sophia Bush, the starlet from "One Tree Hill" and "The Hitcher."  Need I say more? Two of my favorite actresses playing the lead roles in a feature film….AWSOME!! And yes Sophia Bush is one of my favorite actresses, and people always ask… “It’s because she’s hot, right?” The answer is yes. "Table for T...

this is interesting. Val Kilmer, huh? I guess I could see it (not really).  the question is, though:  could YOU see it? just checked my email:   New York Times reporting the job losses for January around 7.6%.  I kind of feel sick now. - Brittany

THIS IS AMAZING: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YTihsJQHt48 AND TOTALLY THE BEST REMIX I HAVE EVER ENCOUNTERED. - Brittany

In a world where some entertainment gurus preach “sex sells,” there has been a more traditional movement taking place with the young pop stars of today…Abstinence. Presently, American TV and Films are full of storylines, which show teens engaging in sexual lifestyles, such as ABC Family’s “The Secret Life of the American Teenager” or movies like Kirsten Dunst’s “15 and Pregnant.” (I doubt most people saw that one.Not really my cup of Joe.) And who could forget Lindsey Lohan in “Georgia Rule?” But now the up-and-coming role models of America’s youth are going through a trend of abstinence. Yes, that’s right, waiting until marriage to partake in the nasty deed. This new flavor of the month is practiced by the youth rockers, The Jonas Brothers, an extremely popular pop-rock group that has even been described as Beatle-esque. (Ok, they aren’t really. I’d give them the title of the next Hanson, and that’s it. And, yes, I’m one of the millions of people that compare Jonas to Hanson, so it mu...

O, HALE noo so competent!!! GOD: this town's crAzy. http://yourerie.com/content/fulltext/?cid=45171 in related news: I had no idea Christian Bale was such a diva. wut. "What She Came For"- Franz Ferdinand p.s. other people should be contributing to this...thing in the future. STAY TUNED. - Brittany

"exceptindreams"- "Mirror, Mirror" Spike Milligan A young spring-tender girl combed her joyous hair 'You are very ugly' said the mirror. But,on her lips hung a smile of dove-secret loveliness, for only that morning had not the blind boy said,'You are beautiful'? reminds me of a Jens Lekman song. :) - Brittany