The Useless Critic 2.0

I guess my new thing is to post updates about Ashton Kutcher's life. Why? Because he's everywhere. He's like an STD.  So the newest thing on tool Mr. Kutcher's agenda is to play late Apple legend Steve Jobs in an upcoming indie biopic. now let's examine the spectrum:   I guess there's a passing resemblance but really, REALLY? in other news today: - horrific school shooting in California - can Myanmar be saved! - Fiona Apple's new album listing/art is out out out can I make this Titanic month because it's the 100th anniversary and I don't have a copilot right now? SAY YES SAY YES

So I am pretty bummed tonight- it's been a sad day- but how could I not laugh my ass off when I read this headline: Ashton Kutcher Headed to Space! Yup, apparently Richard "I'm Obviously Insane and Hairy" Branson tapped him to go into space. I can only imagine the great dialogues that will go on up there with Ashton in orbit, judged from the half-episode of the new Two and a Half Men  I somehow got caught watching. Ashton:  Like....it's space....and stuff. *pulls out Blackberry and tweets* Anyway, I don't really have anything against Ashton, but I've been Team Demi since Day 1 and I'm not backing down.  Also:  space is a whore. And I feel better now. In related news, Kathy Bates is playing the ghost of Charlie Sheen on an upcoming episode of Two and a Half Men . You betcha.

I have had a few bosses in my time that I could not stand. Granted, I don't think I ever wanted to kill She-Thing. Trip her yes, but my boss was never one of the following: a.) a sex-crazed deviant b.) a coke-addicted tool c.) a pure evil psychopath do you think if I had a boss along these lines I would have had a similar reaction to the three bromantic protagonists of Horrible Bosses ? Possibly.  It's not as funny as Bridesmaids , which is the movie which all future 2011 comedies will be judged by from here on out. But it's a lot better than Bad Teacher  and ends up leaving the audience with a fascinating, somewhat complex plot.  Yet the big key for this movie to succeed is the interaction and dialogue, back-and-forth between the three protagonists, a group of friends (who all loathe their superiors)- Jason Sudekis, Jason Bateman (HOLLA USELESS CRITIC FAVORITE) and Charlie Day, who I have just been introduced to and think is wonderful. Divine, really. Espe...