The Useless Critic 2.0

It's been too long! I brought this back in honor of her 42nd birthday. Girl, you look good! Today I am going to focus on the song I've been listening to the most by this band lately: "Full Circle" off their b-sides album. Originally intended for Return Of Saturn . It didn't make the cut, which I think was a silly move. it's a powerful rock song for the band. lyrics time bitch: All I've ever touched or said to them Becomes a rehearsal for you, just practicing, Too many magic moments to be coincidence It all comes   full circle I knew someone who knew you And he introduced me to you Your ex-girlfriend had a boyfriend Who kissed my girlfriend Who dated Adrian... what is this song about? FULL CIRCLE? obviously we find Gwen waxing about how closely intertwined all our lives are and how really no one is that far off from someone else. Like, my favorite parlour game to play when I'm entertaining the comrades Sunday nights, "Six Deg...

I pulled through. You were probably doubting me, and that is OKAY and perfectly understandable. I deserve to be doubted. Oh, irony . WHATEVS. Today let's go back. FAR. like beginning of time far, like Planet of the Apes I Hate You So Much James Franco far. See:  THEIR FIRST ALBUM. Controversial, because like I said before, it kind of sucks. :/ it happens.  The song "Trapped In a Box" from this album is a rare gem. Let me go wikipedia the album listing. Yeah this and "Move On." DUMP THE REST OF IT IT'S SHIT (sorry)  Tom Dumont wrote this song, in a rare show of words. That's right, Mr. Tom Dumont, the sulky metal-loving guitarist of the band, born on January 11th, the same day as one of my uncles! small world I guess. he looks rather happy and peaceful there. that's how I'd like to think of Mr. Dumont.  well, this song was written as a commentary on the role of television in people's lifestyles. I don't have a TV...

I'm beating you to the punch this time! :)  Does this seem like a cop-out because it's NOT?  I was on the train yesterday and I rocked the shit out to this song. it felt weird, but I was deliriously happy for twenty minutes, so why not take advantage of it!  "Just a Girl" was really No Doubt's big ticket to fame. It became an anthem. A staple, if you will. God, if you will! Poetry workshop flashbacks ensue!  This stands alone in the No Doubt canon, as it is not some big-hearted confession or sappy true-life moment. Which, you know. I think is commendable! It shows Gwen's ability to step out of frame when it comes to songwriting. It also features the awesome phrase "rule of thumb" which actually goes back to the olden days when it was perfectly acceptable to beat on your spouse. Sigh! Good old days! I always found that intriguing, by the by. So it's a little deeper than it looks. Would Susan B. Anthony approve? Who cares! It's n...

Did you think I forgot? Seriously? I was just tired yesterday! Onwards, Christian soldiers! Today , I decided to throw you a curveball. Bitches. I mean, it's been on my mind all week, naturally. What else am I going to think about? So:  here, we have a b-side. this is called "Everything In Time," but the Los Angeles version. As it exists, there are two. London, I think it's commonly agreed, the sister song, is the lesser of the two. It's too cute, too aware of it's charm. There is something gritty and organic about the LA version, but isn't that LA for you? IO here we go: She asked how we are She asked If I was all weird again And of course I am But I'm trying really hard So I lied to her And I was wearing this prisoner face So deep inside she had to know Once again I've lost control For everything, there is a reason Everything, I hope in time, will come Lying in your bed I am a refugee you try to love But the love that...

Hello there sportsfans! It's 103 degrees in New York and I am currently re-hydrating in my apartment after the most miserable subway ride of my life. So if this post is a little late, you will see WHY. I'm even wearing a dress and still soaked in my own sweat. YEAH SUMMER HEATWAVES IN THE CITY I was a little confused about what song I should pick this week. At first I wanted to do a b-side...but No Doubt has a rich b-side catalog. And that would be opening Pandora's Box, I feel.  So I went with my favorite No Doubt song. I picked "New." So I love Gwen's hair and make-up in this video. Does this girl ever look bad? NO.  Did you know that song was for the soundtrack of the 1999 rave-glorious film Go ? Do you even remember that movie? No I haven't seen the whole thing. I was like 11 and thought that was what cool people did, things like they do in the movie Go . Plus my parents wouldn't let me see it...I do remember it always being at Phar-...

I know this is late. I apologize for having failed you. I am all over the place today and simply not at my best. Gwen would not approve.  :/ That being said, I decided to go with "Hey Baby" for today's pick. First things first, here's the video, which I adore: GWEN AT HER HOTTEST I AM JUST SAYING I want you to know when this came out, back in 2001, No Doubt fans were divided. It was like new Pepsi shit going down. "DID NO DOUBT SELL OUT? THEY SOUND LIKE A DANCE BAND!" well, that was the point. Rock Steady represented No Doubt's attempt to make a dance record. Whereas their three major albums went from thirdwave ska to alternative rock to electronic dance pop. In a way though, considering how crazy the electronic scene went in the late 2000s, they were ahead of the curve! Also, HOW COULD NO DOUBT SELL OUT? if they EVER sold out it was in like 1995. Morons. <3 you No Doubt. moving on, the lyrics:  Misfit, I sit Lit up, wicked Eve...

It's my time, bitches! MY TIME!  There is only ONE No Doubt album I have not touched on, my beautiful friends, my sweet readers. And that is their second album, the Beacon Street Collection . Lo and behold, I present to you one track off this album, which was a lot stronger then their self-titled introductory effort:  "Squeal." (trust me, I'm not alone on that sentiment. I spent enough time at the No Doubt fan forum way back when to know it was common knowledge! Noobs). I maintain the attitude that is an unfortunate album cover. Here it is back on their 2009 tour (they often whipped out a classic track to spice things up, on my VISITATION it was seeing them do a cover of Sublime's "DJs"): the lyrics:  I thought we had agreed  That we were in this together But now that you have betrayed me I got no other option Why can't you keep a secret Why'd you squeal I thought that it was private It's a tea party and you...

This has quickly become my favorite part of Fridays. When I can engage in the bottomless supply of No Doubt trivia I have accumulated throughout the 23 years of my life.  Today, I decided to go back to the album of No Doubt's I've been most neglecting (and arguably their most important) Tragic Kingdom . Yes, this 1995 classic is what brought the group to mainstream attention. It's their last somewhat ska-influenced album and also the last that the founder of the band (and big bro of Gwen) Eric Stefani played on. He abandoned No Doubt to chase dreams of being an animator, and dude was relatively successful, getting a stint on the Simpsons.  by the way, he even drew No Doubt into a Simpsons episode: anyway. The big deal/deciding factor behind Tragic Kingdom- an album with art far too concerned with the orange supply of SoCal- was Gwen's break-up with bassist Tony Kanal. The two had dated from the late 80s til like 93/94. The whole album is basically a "f...