The Useless Critic 2.0

A lot of people must be wondering: why am I still here? Wasn't Jesus supposed to swoop me up in his arms like a motherless child? Well I have to say that if I were indeed Jesus (like rumors through the years have implied) I might skip town, too.  I asked Phil, all-around interesting fellow, why the Rapture was not May 21st 2011. This is what Phil had to say: 1) I sat at Rack N Roll this night wondering the same thing. Then some old lady got up and started singing some horseshit country song like she was 20, and at that moment I realized the Rapture had occurred and I am in Hell. 2.)  My name's Phill Ross. I like to wear leather outfits and nipple clamps in my free time.   3) It doesn't matter because the world is ending in December of 2012. I think . Well there you have it, although I do wonder if God kept us here to watch SNL last night.  Your thoughts? p.s. sorry Iceland

This is what the new Scissor Sisters is doing: I was sitting in my room listening to it and, after the fifth song, start thinking how wrong it is for me to be listening to it like this— hanging out with the cat, lamenting the insularly rural town I’m stuck in while eating baker’s chocolate. I really should have been listening to Lisa Loeb, but she’s just too much for me right now; every time I listened to her over the spring, it completely ruined my day. But some of the earlier lines from “Harder You Get” provide a really concise thesis for the new Scissors’ LP— Jake Shears’ growling about being on a first-name basis with the reaper tells us “It isn’t Stephen / It isn’t Adam,” and continues into offering “I got some apples / If you want / Then you can grab ‘em” and this is such a wonderful economy of words! T.S. Eliot? We have no time for you. But the thing about it is this is a really tough song. It’s like the tough one of the LCD Soundsystems was talking about in their interview wi...