The Useless Critic 2.0

So hello world; Spotlight / shoutout is back, and taking the golden s/s of fantasismicness is none other than Shakira; Everyone has a favorite Lebanese Colombian , and for most people it is Shakira. Spotlight is a column that is geared to showcasing talented actors, and although, Shakira is more known for her music; she has been popping around television from time to time. This includes; an appearance on Wizards of Waverly Place, which I adore. But the real reason she receives the s slash s is because of two things; 1. My cousin bought me her MP3 pack; and 2. This bitch knows how to moisturize. She has been on the scene since like 1991, and she has not aged a day. No lie, this chica picante is pushing 34, and her hips are still shaking strong. Other Latin goofs such as Ricky Martin can no longer shake for shits. QATFYG: Do you like Shakira? Who is your favorite Lebanese Colombian? Do you like it when pop stars are on the tele? And do you like short latin people?

So I was slightly drunk, with my best friend, at a haunted house a few weekends ago. You know, one of those fake ones they put together where you go to not be so much scared as harassed? Yes, the Conneaut Lake one in fact. something something levels of fear/hell something. I've never been to one before. They do a really nice job! It was fun. a lot of random people touching me and chainsaws breezing against my body. you know I loved that. well, because of my intoxicated state, every time some person dressed up a ghoul or serial killer would jump out in front of me and be like BOOLA BOOLA BOOLA, I could think of one of two reactions: a.) WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU PUT KE$HA b.) CHRISTINA RICCI IS ON BROADWAY THIS WEEKEND! (I read this headline in the morning and for some reason, it just stayed with me). Well I have done a lot of pondering on this issue, head-on-knuckles type. And I came to the conclusion: I LOVE CHRISTINA, I ALWAYS HAVE! especially this time of year- give my girl props f...