The Useless Critic 2.0

Here it is, the lead single from Kylie Minogue's forthcoming 12th studio album, Kiss Me Once , which is set for release in March. On first listen, I found the song a bit underwhelming. Well, her two last studio albums, X and Aphrodite , are awesome, so hopefully her next album will follow suit. Now, for old time's sake...

Good Morning. Good Afternoon. Good Evening and Good Night. In recent times, I have had the fortune of receiving an enormous amount of new music thanks to AWM, and this is the first of several album reviews. The first stab goes toward the album Rua from Clann Zu. For starters, I had not been familiar with these guys at all. It's too bad because they play a style that normally stands out to me. My windows media player lists their genre as rock, but I would go a little further and say they are folk metal. Rock is definitely an understatement. From some of the info provided, I learned they are an Australian-Irish sound, and this album is overall very fun to listen to. The best track is certainly "Words for Snow," which is the first on the list. The lyrics are bold. The music is strong, and the instrumentals are dramatic, a quality I adore. I am hooked on this song. Pretty Sexy. As the tracks go down the list, some of them really do not capture the engaging effect...meaning it...

So, a little over a year ago an Australian girl I knew online was murdered. I'd known her for about 6 years, since I was 16, and we spoke pretty much constantly for about 3 years. We were as good a pair of friends as you could get online, I reckon. After she discovered boys things went a bit downhill for her, I think. She started smoking, as far as I remember drugs may have been involved at times, and all the usual stuff that comes with a nice girl shacking up with a bad boy. Turns out a bad boy would be the end of her, and she was murdered by her boyfriend at the time, Levi Hayes. This isn't some heartfelt tribute to Rhian though. Her facebook page, which has turned into quite a wonderful memorial to to her, is doing a more than adequate job of that. What I'm going to write about is the way the newspapers and such have spoken about her. They haven't said anything outright, but to me it seems they seem to blame the fashion culture she was into for her murder. Rhi ...

At the hipster haven this past weekend. sigh. one day I will go to Coachella, and YOU BITCHES ARE JUST GOING TO FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER. I'll be like, on my smart phone:   Kirsten Dunst and I just vomited together. omg, when is Passion Pit and MGMT going to show up for the pee-stained orgy? WHY IS THERE A PBR IN MY HAND? white people problems, indeed. I have no idea about this new song, btw. NO ONE DOES (except hipsters and I'm just a fraud). Cut Copy announced a show in Pittsburgh on July 11th at Club Zoo, which sounds either gay or like an U2 tribute. here is a song I've had in my head all day: the VOICE better save her or she's a loster cause than Charlie Sheen's kids. HAPPY BIRTHDAY SANDRA

The King’s Speech I was pretty skeptical coming into this film. I had heard about the positive reviews but it seemed like one of those Hallmark cum inspirational films about a man finding his voice for his country rahrah . This film could have been a turkey, if the directing hit the schmaltzy button and made a male version of a Mandy Moore film. Surprisingly, it was really good. Colin Firth totally owned the performance as the stuttering king with guts. He’s having a great run at the moment, with his acting performance in A Single Man and The King’s Speech being excellent. Thank God he’s moved on from wearing reindeer shirts in Bridget’s Jones Diary . I thought we had lost him forever to shit rom - coms : OH LOOK, BITCHES I AM PAYING THE MORTGAGE, HERE. Geoffrey Rush was also very good as the Australian speech therapist. He played the eccentric kooky doctor role well (think Robert Williams in Good Will Hunting ) and kept asking the King for a shilling. Surprisingly the rest of the c...

So one of those studies where they analyze the most exuberant countries in the world was just undertaken again. I was not surprised by the results, although I would have liked to see Sweden on the list. 5.) NEW ZEALAND why: because it is nicknamed "the World's Youngest Country" it is pretty it is right next to Australia 4.) AUSTRALIA why: because all those spawn of British rejects are really quite pleased with themselves! it is kind of warm nobody lives in the middle! it IS Australia "I'm moving to Australia!"- Alexander they have great electronic music (i.e. Cut Copy and the Presets) they are attractive and also tan. WHY ELSE, SIMON 3.) FINLAND why: because Finland is awesome? because they are near Sweden. I love you Finland, you are our 4th or 5th largest group of readers. they have Moomin their government doesn't suck FORBES WAS TALKING SHIT ON YOU FINLAND they make good design IDK what else to say except that a group of Finns told me I l...

I love Australians . Australians and Finns are my favorite people. do you know who I don't like? people from Malta. where the fuck is Malta anyway. WELL. Australia is having a lottttt of problems with floods. haven't you heard? ARE THESE END TIMES? and also, also also also, if you have some semblance of a conscious, you could perhaps donate a little to Congresswoman Giffords ' favorite charity . I am not speaking big donations for either of these groups. I just feel bad that I can't do more to help, you know? you do what you can. p.s. speaking of Australians, I feel like giving Ladyhawke another go. etc. BRAZIL

I know this is a fairly old song (released in what, 2008/2009?), but Australian electronic duo Empire of the Sun's Walking On A Dream is on constant replay for me right now. The music is evocative, electronic but not overwhelmingly so; the lyrics, which describe how it feels to be in love - at least while you're having sex - are beautiful. This is undoubtedly one of the best songs of 2009. Or 2008. Whatever. We are always running for the thrill of it, thrill of it Always pushing up the hill searching for the thrill of it On and on and on we are calling out and out again Never looking down I'm just in awe of what's in front of me

WILCO just announced (WILCOOOOOO) that they will be hitting up Pittsburgh in April on the 11th. Now for me that's a pretty big deal. I'd put them up in like, near-Radiohead territory. I WANT to see that so hard. for reals. The Antlers will be playing in Akron come January 30th. Tickets are like 11 dollars. Hospice was Amazon's pick for the year! yeahhhhhhh. In February, Sondre Lerche will be in Pittsburgh on February 26th at the Club Cafe. he's very good live, worth a view if you haven't already! JBM will be opening again. Another performer that's very worth a trip to see is ST. VINCENT, who will be at Pittsburgh on Feb. 21, a Sunday. God. she's so like- mesmerizing live. she made me a big fan after witnessing her all-too-brief opening bit for Andrew Bird. Irish group The Guggenheim Grotto will be in Pittsburgh March 3. They're pretty up-and-coming and if you're a fan of Damien Rice or the like, you might appreciate them. WATCH NOW Then you have vet...

Songs I Don't Have For You To Download Edition! "All or Nothing"- Au Revoir Simone so beautiful. this song perfectly showcases Au Revoir Simone's strengths like noneother I've heard before. their gentle harmonies soar. it's gorgeous. like a less experimental, atmospheric School of Seven Bells. pile on a bit of restrained sweetness (like aspartame). "slowly coming into view..." "Love Has Left the Room"- A Camp Remember that chick that leads The Cardigans (who are like the most underrated band, EVER)Nina Persson? Well this is her solo project. Pretty incredible, I say. Very nice adult alternative. Showcases her vocals superbly. IT WILL SLIP MY MINDDDDDDDDDDDDD - and I used to have the biggest crush on this woman FTW. "Two"- The Antlers I'm really just getting into this band despite much resistance. Gonna go see them in Cleveland on January 23. WANT TO COME? They're opening for Editors right now. ugh, I can I see a semblance....