The Useless Critic 2.0

For starters, I'd like to introduce this by stating it's not going to be overly elaborate or ornate; I'm not even going to Google anything if I don't have to (!!!). I'm sure once I finish writing this up, I'll think of several bands/musicians I should have included, but I'm running out of time, so to paraphrase Allen Ginsberg: "First thought, best thought." Music From 2015 (or just about that) That I Enjoyed in 2015 I'll try to leave out Irina's picks. I'm not huge on redundancy, except on my social media updates. Big Grams   Big Boi + Phantogram = Surprising greatness! I was a bit skeptical when I heard about this collaboration, but it was more or less seamlessly executed. There are a few cringeworthy moments on their debut album - Sarah's rapping is endearing but awkward and Skrillex managed to pull off what sounds like an audio panic attack, but other than that, Big Grams should have been our summer soundtrack ... it ...

Ellie Goulding, "Love Me Like You Do" / "Something in the Way You Move" I must admit it took me a few listens to realize how grand and majestic "Love Me Like You Do" is. The song is so tender and ethereal, but it's also brooding and has an underlying darkness to it. Plus I think it was a perfect fit for the scene in Fifty Shades of Grey where Christian takes Anastasia on a helicopter ride overlooking Seattle's night skyline (I actually enjoyed the movie, judge me). "Something in the Way You Move"—from Goulding's latest LP Delirium —marries a shimmering synthpop backdrop with foreboding, somewhat dark lyrics, which document the singer's dooming attraction to a nameless guy who is bad for her, but she can't help it even if it's bound to end in heartbreak: "When our eyes meet, I can only see the end / But tonight I'm here, yours again." Thematically, it wouldn't sound really out of place in the Fifty Sh...

Last night, I saw The Mowgli's live in Tempe with the company of Canadian singer-songwriter Lights (whom I've never really liked that much until last night - she was pretty good!), and K.Flay, an up-and-coming alternative artist who deserves your attention. I've actually NOT listened to The Mowgli's prior to last night. A few times in passing, but nothing to leave a mark. My friend told me seeing them live was akin to witnessing "Sesame Street on crack." Well, okay. That's a glowing review. So I expected the musical equivalent of Fruity Pebbles, more or less.* Actually, The Mowgli's were quite good! A little saccharine at times, but all in all - a night of much-needed positivity. They had a good chemistry on stage and some sweet harmonies. I am a fool for harmonies. I enjoyed "San Francisco" the most. Hear it below; it's a pretty carefree, almost jangle-pop-style tune. As for Lights, for being sick ("bus plague"), she...

Okay, I was so going to post about this yesterday, but then it just totally slipped my mind. I should really lay off the weed... Anyway , yesterday the awesome Brooklyn duo Sleigh Bells shared a new song titled "Champions of Unrestricted Beauty"—one month after making headlines for accusing Demi Lovato and her team of sampling not one , but two tracks from their debut album Treats without permission. According to a Facebook post , the follow-up to their latest album, 2013's Bitter Rivals , is almost done. The song ditches the guitars that previously populated the duo's abrasive, deliciously distorted noise-pop offerings in favor of a sound that is decidedly slicker and more synth-driven. Alexis Krauss' powerful vocals are on point, but I do hope their next album is not completely guitar-less, I mean, what the hell would I be without Sleigh Bells' angsty, don't-fuck-with-me anthems?? I always feel like a bad bitch whenever I listen to " Crown o...

I went to see Mr. Little Jeans last night. She was fantastic, in case you were wondering (duh). So awesome and such a sweetheart, too. I have video of her covering "Hotline Bling," which was like, the HIGHLIGHT. I mean, who doesn't love a good Drake cover, right? Well, before the awesome Norwegian took the stage, I was introduced to Soren Bryce. I didn't even know there was an opener. I expected it, but I didn't expect to actually like the opener. Case in point: I saw Grimes open for Lykke Li several years ago and was like, pssssh. Whatever. And now everybody adores her. But the moment she opened her mouth, I was like :O. Who is this?!?!?!   The passion she pours into her performance is - mind-blowing, to say the least. Sometimes you go to concerts and the performer basically phones it in, but this girl did the opposite of that. She was shaking, vibrating, screaming, completely absorbed in her music. It was like a religious experience, and it's the ...

Los Angeles siren BANKS has dropped the highly artistic and incredibly sensual video for her eerie, smoldering new track "Better." It is the first single from her upcoming second album, which, according to an interview with Beats 1 's Zane Lowe earlier today, is supposed to come out "early, early next year," though further details have yet to surface. In the meantime, BANKS is currently opening for The Weeknd's Beauty Behind the Madness tour in North America. Can you imagine if these two collaborated on a song? That would seriously scream SEX. Ugh, my body is so ready for a second BANKS album! If there's a recent album that has had a profound impact on me, it's her eargasmic debut album Goddess . If you haven't checked it out yet, you're a damn fool, because it was easily one of the best albums of 2014. I might even write a retrospective review of it sometime.

So it's like that Tweet I sent out earlier this year had magical powers or something something, because look what dropped (yes, I know, the rest of the civilized world is freaking out about Adele - and I'm not :P).     This song is pretty near perfect for Jamie. It's smooth, it's slightly funky, it's sensual. It actually is perfect, and I probably would rank it among his best tracks to date - which, hopefully, we'll have many more to celebrate.   Seriously though! He's been gone for several years. This is a triumph!      Also, it was brought to my attention that it is strange I like Norah Jones and not Adele. I really like Norah Jones, I think "Come Away With Me" was one of the best pop albums of the 2000s and I WILL NOT APOLOGIZE.

Attention - hold the presses - Gwen has debuted new music! :O GWEN   And you thought this was just an average Saturday night. Well, no more! Put down that pumpkin spice latte (do I need to capitalize that?) and follow me!     It's called "Used to Love You" and, because Gwen is a vulnerable poet (holla), we pretty much can assume the song's impetus. But pain makes great art, as history has demonstrated to us again  and again . I only write poetry after break-ups, and at the time, I usually make sure I am wearing lots of clothing I purchased with my Mom's credit card at Hot Topic.   So, thoughts:   1.) Are you ready for "Tragic Kingdom: Part Deux?" I don't know if I am, but, it could be a good thing. Remember Gwen - make GOLD from the poop life has handed and sell that poop! (TM)   2.) Is Gavin ready for this? Because ... you're in for a treat dude ...   3.) Is Taylor Swift going to co-write a song on this new albu...

She is baaaaaaaack. Thank you, sweet Jesus. I didn't even know I needed this so much. Enter "Cara Mia." And if you listen to this on YouTube and let it go to the next video, you're going to end up with a really creepy video of Annie Clark and Cara Delevingne paired with dubstep music. I can't get the embedded Soundcloud thing to work on my site, so head over to Stereogum instead. The song is off her EP due on Oct. 16, entitled "Endless Vacation." Which is exactly what this sounds like! It's a fitting follow-up to her 2013 release with Richard X (best producer ever!) I listened to this song a few days ago on the way to work, and I felt transformed to another place. Like, you can almost feel the sun on your skin when you listen to this song. That's when you know it's a good song: When three minutes pass by and you're like, "Where was I? Oh, I missed my bus stop? Damn." Oh, Annie: Welcome back, Beyoncé of the synthpop wor...

So Ryan Adam's long-awaited (well, like, a month or so) version of Taylor Swift's "1989" is now upon us. Huzzah! I listened to it this morning - it's a pretty strong effort for the most part. At its very worst, it sounds like some forgettable acoustic thing you'd hear in the background of a Starbucks. And at its finest? At its absolute peak finest , he makes Taylor's recent pop masterpiece (I SAID IT, YOU WERE THINKING IT TOO) his very own. The cover of the Katy Perry-bashfest, "Bad Blood," is receiving the most attention - and rightfully so. He takes this song that was meant to be empowering in some shape, if not totally malicious is another, and revitalizes it into this heartbroken realization. The hurt is real, friends. Have a listen:     So far, my other favorite part of this sweet little love letter to Taylor Swift is how he reinvents " Style," littering it with '90s alt-rock images. Ha! "Daydream Nation" fo...

Brilliantly moody, brilliantly wistful, brilliantly Lana. This song pays tribute to David Bowie's "Space Oddity," which you've probably read by now. I'm late to the game on this one. I KNOW I'M SORRY.  It sounds a lot like lost love - the kind of love that is painfully slow to move on - but I've read theories it's about David Bowie's late brother. You can read about Terry, David's deceased brother, here . I'm honestly not sure what this song is about, but the sad image of someone sitting in front of a radio or a TV or a computer (really) pining for someone long gone - by choice or by death or by whatever - is a pretty lonely, tender thing to ponder.  As "Honeymoon" approaches, I get more and more excited about Lana's third (really fourth) album. This song just stoked the flames more.

Just some quick updates before the weekend comes to a halt- 1.) Ryan Adams has announced he's covering all of Taylor Swift's "1989" album. "1989" is pretty much the best pop album of the decade. Let's not try to deny that, okay? It's a good album. It took me forever to listen to it (no offense to Taylor, I had some emotional baggage at the time) but once I did, WOW. Ryan? Ryan is one of the best singer-songwriters of his generation. And he can do a powerful cover: To add sprinkles on top of that sundae of awesomeness, he also is doing it IN THE STYLE OF THE SMITHS. Like, let that one sink in for a while. *fans self* 2.) Taylor Swift's next single off "1989" will be "Wildest Dreams." Not a bad pick, IMO, but a little too Lana-esque for me. God, I see Lana in everything. I'm like one of those people who see images of Tom Selleck in Cheetos. I'd link you to a video, but it's not out yet, so here's ...

So there has been a new Beach House album for approximately a month, and the Useless Critic has not released statements on it. That is now about to change. So, "Sparks." It's pretty fuzzy and lo-fi-esque. Not that Beach House isn't known for being somewhat that way, but this seems like a step up from where they have previously been. It certainly has some shoegaze elements as well. I think it's a natural progression from 2012's "Bloom."  Halfway through the song, it seems to pick up and find its footing. At first, it's not the easiest song to warm up to. But, still. It left me curious as to what "Depression Cherry" (such an appropriate title!) will sound like. In short: Less dreampop, more shoegaze/lo-fi. Not a stunner, but something of a grower. Yay "Depression Cherry." Sounds like a Popsicle flavor. 

There is a new LDR track in town. A ballad, that is. And many people are claiming it is her best - absolute best, creme de la creme - to date. It's fantastically noir-ish, fantastically melodramatic, fantastically wistful - the qualities I have come to adore the most about today's most off-kilter pop star. It's easy to imagine Bette Davis - pre-"Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?" Bette Davis, because let's not kid ourselves here - driving around the Californian shore at sunset and smoking a long cigarette (probably one in a holder, a la Cruella DeVille) and mourning over losing Gary Cooper. I don't even know if they were an item, but let's pretend they were. And keep in mind, in this mental image, Bette Davis still has it all. NO "BABY JANE." I wouldn't say this ballad is as good as "Born to Die" or "Young and Beautiful," but it's still haunting and it's still exquisite. Probably would put it on her top ...

Do you know that feeling when a band you completely adore and would marry if you could marry a band puts out a song that feels like a brutal slap to the face? Where you're left wondering "What is this weird CHVRCHES-like thing? Whaaaaaatttttt happened?" It's like if you were driving a car at the time the single came on the radio, YOU'D DRIVE INTO A DITCH SCREAMING? Those are my feelings on this song. I still love you, Metric.  In all seriousness, one feature I have admired about Metric is their ability to shapeshift from album to album. They went from dance pop to more anthemic rock in just a few albums. Compare "Old World Underground, Where Are You Now?" to "Synthetica." There are some common areas, but there's a lot of change and change is good (NOTE: I hate change, haha, well except in music and my restaurant choices). Metric went from a kind-of-okay band to a great band in a very short period of time (even though their first albu...

Purity Ring was a band I listened to totally by accident. I heard "Fireshrine" one day, and thought it was a catchy little tune. They reminded me of Phantogram's distant cousin with a vague nod to School of Seven Bells. Their new album, "another eternity" (all lowercase yeah?), came out earlier this year. I haven't listened to the album that in depth yet, but I can tell you that THIS track is "bomb."  I chose that adjective because that is what a man in the grocery store called Reese's Puffs, and it seemed like a good idea at the time. Happy listening! Reese Puffs! Hahahahahaha GET IT?!?!?!

I felt like at first - encountering Tuxedo - that I had run into a photocopy of Chromeo. I guess you could call them that, and seeing Mayer has done a lot of work with the guys from Chromeo, it might even be an apt comparison.  (Despite the semi-disparaging title of this blog post, I actually don't think they're that bad! And that's not because I'm a Mayer Hawthorne fan).  Tuxedo is half Mayer, half Jake One (a celebrated producer in his own right). They make very, very, VERY '80s-heavy funk. They released their debut self-titled album last month.  "Do It" is a pretty strong single, and "Number One" is fairly decent, even if it's kind of sickeningly cheesy at times. I feel like you'd expect to hear "Number One" at someone's wedding in 1987, after everyone has drank way too much Schnapps and Grandma has started grinding with the priest.  My major takeaway from my crash course through their album is Tuxedo had the r...

I accidentally stumbled upon Sufjan Stevens' lush new album, Carrie and Lowell , while actively seeking ways to ignore its existence. I loooooooooooved 2010's Age of Adz , but it's been about five years and he's not done much for me lately (to paraphrase Miss Jackson). I think what happened with Sufjan and me is that, frankly, he got much too big for me to keep up with. I am now going to sound very pretentious, but: For a group of people in the early-to-mid 2000s, Sufjan was very important and precious. I won't say "figurehead," but I doubt his popularity couldn't have helped usher in acts like Bon Iver and the like.  When he became more - well - ubiquitous in a manner of speaking, some of that value/novelty for me (and perhaps others, I don't know, I haven't asked anyone!) disappeared. And when became a little more outrageously experimental, I was intrigued at first. Then, I backed away, distracted by other musical going-ons of the t...

In my grand tradition of celebrating the mediocre (see also Vance Joy), I'm giving this catchy-almost-weirdly-1950s song some love. I think I heard this several places over the summer, but was too unmoved to do some research on it. I finally did. I gave in. On that note, Hozier and Sam Smith have grown on me as well. Mostly though, I've been listening to Metric, Tennis (OMG SO GOOD), and meditations/Buddhist chants. It's a good mix. It keeps me grounded.