The Useless Critic 2.0

Every so often, I find myself fortunate enough to receive pre-release copies of albums. Doesn't happen super often and not every time do I get a chance to listen to the albums sent my way. I'm a weekend blogger - much like a weekend warrior, but significantly less cool. However, when I was offered a chance to listen to the new EMMY THE GREAT (!!!!) (or Emma-Lee Moss as is her real name), my heart soared. I believe in this girl in a way I do few other artists, despite not being a huge fan of her music (I am definitely a fan , but I'm not going to lie and group myself among her most ardent supporters). I remember her, Laura Marling, and Lightspeed Champion emerging all at the same time, and me being a fan of all of them to various degrees (it was the mid-to-late 2000s British anti-folk scene, I suppose).   Her third album, "Second Love," is pretty much perfect. I rarely adore something so much following an apprehensive first listen. But sitting at a Phoenix...

HOT. So the new Haim album came out, but it's beginning to feel as if it's been here for ages. 2013 is the year of Haim. McDonald's is now doing shit with them. As demonstrated in my previous post, I have mixed feelings about THAT. These three sisters from Cali have won my heart. What to make of their new album, though?  Well, it's a bit corny. And it's a bit cheesy, but in the best possible way really. I wish this album had dropped this summer, because it's a perfect summer album. It's pretty upbeat and if I danced, it'd be to this kind of folk/r&b music.  I do not dance, and it's always summer in Phoenix. LET'S NOT KID OURSELVES. Anyway, they play Phoenix on Oct. 19. I will be there.  So, let's do this! In the spirit of what I did with Oh Land and Wild Belle , let's dissect this track by track. P.S. this album came out today! I am so on the ball.  Yes, I am a sucker for a band with a pretty girl! I know; I see the p...

oh hello Oh Land long time no see (haha, get it, because you are wearing an eye mask!) My love for Oh Land is eternal. I keep thinking I'm over her and I don't need to be so geeky about how much I like her music, but, let's face it: I am never over her. It's Sunday evening and I'm preparing for a week full of work with the added bonus of being sick. So I could sit here and write a very profound, thought-out review, or I could just spew words. I choose to spew words. Much love to my Nanna. And your mama, respectively. The last time I did this was to the Wild Belle album . Onwards: 1.) "Bird in an Aeroplane"- It's odd to admit this, but this is my favorite song so far. And I never really care for album openers! It's haunting, minimalist... it's very Oh Land in the fact it's so creative and so unique, it's hard to find another act to compare her to. Except Bjork. A+ 2.) "Renaissance Girls"- Ah, yes. The first big sin...

2006: I am a freshman at Edinboro University. Having grown up with dial-up, arriving at Edinboro introduced me to the world of high-speed internet. I was HOOKED. Naturally I began to abuse internet radio first and foremost. I was exposed to a lot of great music that year. Beirut, Final Fantasy, Joanna Newsom, M.I.A. I remember the first time I heard the National. It was a rainy gross-ass Edinboro day, which is about 360 days out of the year. The song was "All the Wine." Whoa!  I remember thinking. What a cocky asshole . "I'm a birthday candle in a circle of black girls," Matt spits in the song, like he is spitting right on you, the listener. ??? What does that even mean? Do you know how many circles of black girls around cupcakes I have imagined to this song? "I am a perfect piece of ass." Of course it's a parody, but the light's not quite on in my developing brain.  . I was appalled! And rather bored. I listened to the s...

To give perspective about when the last No Doubt album was released, I was in middle school and eagerly awaiting to see them on TRL. I got "Rock Steady" and wasn't allowed near it until Christmas, because the album dropped in December. When I did get my grubby paws on it, I remember feeling like I didn't quite love it, but I enjoyed it enough. I mean "Waiting Room" may have featured Prince, and Prince is awesome in his own, but perhaps Prince and No Doubt shouldn't mix. Don't speak, I know what you're thinking. "RS" divided No Doubt fans because it featured such a dynamic change. You either loved it or hated it- the sudden transition to dancehall and more pop sounds, etc. But, at the end of the day, it was the band doing what they loved and even earned a place on Rolling Stone's "500 Best Albums of All Time." So the band was doing something right! Now things are different. I'm out of school and working, a...

Kreayshawn’s “Somethin Bout Kreay” is she going away yet? by Sarah Mantione The internet sensation, Kreayshawn (Natassia Zolot), has finally released her debut album, “Somethin Bout Kreay,” on Sept. 18 this year after the sixteen-month lapse from the time her "Gucci Gucci" single was posted on YouTube in 2011. It is a hip-hop album influenced by her eclectic musical tastes and several songs are a nod to the free-style rap that she grew up idolizing.  The wait for most fans has meant a loss of interest and sales are particularly disappointing. With only about 3,900 albums sold in the first week, it seems unlikely Columbia will be willing to sign another contract with the 23 year old. Her current rank on the U.S. chart is #112. Not the expected outcome for a woman who garnered over 38 million views on her first music video release.  The album has a decent level of youthful energy and is obviously meant to be taken at face value without too much thought going int...

I still have a crush on him. Is that weird?- BK  The Killers “Battle Born” Review. By Zach Marmolejo (guest writer)  2/5 When The Killers first hit the scene in 2004 with their album “Hot Fuss” I was really excited about them. Here was this band that seemed to have captured the catchiness of 80’s songs and turned them into great pop rock songs that most everyone enjoyed.  Then lead singer Brandon Flowers discovered Bruce Springsteen’s back catalogue and wanted to somehow capture that for today’s audience. That effort turned into 2006’s “Sam’s Town” which left critics divided, but the fans ate it up. They returned to back to their 80’s synthy sound with 2008’s “Day and Age” and critics seemed to welcome them back and the fans once again ate it up. After 4 years of side projects and solo albums they are back, which is unfortunate for listeners. It seems that Flowers is trying to combine the sound of Springsteen’s early 70’s albums with what they were known for ...

gorgeous dudes, rite?!?! I heard Grizzly Bear the first time in college and I was in love from the getgo. The way Ed Droste's voice was beyond gorgeous, the way the instrumentals sounded, the lyrics....I was hooked from then forward. They were like nothing else I had ever heard. so atmospheric, but not like Air. And they were melancholy, but not like Elliott Smith or Nick Drake. Just in their own vein; beautiful, fragile and dense. Which is how their newest album works,  Shields.   Are all great albums of 2012 break-up albums? We have Fiona's bloody hemorrhage, Jens Lekman's broken heart and the Xx's depressive sour note.....where do these boys stand? Somewhere in the middle. Gentle and ethereal. "The cold keeps tearing at me..." Droste sings in "Gun-Shy" easily the best track from the album. And what does this track even mean? As long as you're with someone, are you terrified to voice your complaints? Pull trigger on said gun? "Oh...

First of all, I'm very glad Fiona Apple exists. And is still making albums, although this might be her last for a long time. Who knows? It's anyone's call at this point. I can see her just like, being like "this is it. I don't want to deal with you all anymore." and walking away. Hell, I WOULD WALK AWAY. I still remember being much younger and more precocious and going to scoop Extraordinary Machine up after work (at, uh, McDonald's). And it was one of the best decisions I ever made; many a bus ride was spent jamming out to that CD (yes). "Be kind to me or treat me mean. I'll make the most of it, I'm an extraordinary machine." For a while, it was a mantra. And I would love to say that's irrelevant now, but it's as applicable as ever. The older I get, the more sensitive I seem to become. Apparently, all Fiona does is hide in her house and walk her dog at sunrise to avoid people. Give me a few more years and I'll be there...

1.) FEIST - saw her last week with the Happiness Project at the Brooklyn Academy of Music. As Daryl can attest to, the Happiness Project sure was boring. "a big snooze," Marty Crane would say. They were like the Books but too driven by concept to be really interesting.  the idea was the band made music out of taped testimonials of their neighbors' perceptions of happiness and how that varies from person to person. and they sure were talented musicians but that was the end of it. But Feist! FEIST! she blew us all away. I have not listened to Metals with any real depth yet, granted I like what I heard. She was brave and experimental and quirky and sweet, joking around with the audience. You could tell this woman was more than happy to get her and her amazing band (which now includes back-up vocals from MOUNTAIN MAN ). And despite her music often coming across as mellow and muted via recorded form, in person, SHE ROCKS. It's totally believable she was once a me...