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Showing posts with the label kate middleton

The Royal Honeymoon with Algerie Nader: The Final Chapter

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So after hours upon hours of high-thrilled dancing and gratuitous face painting all good things must come to an end. The Royal Honeymoon with Algerie Nader eventually would lead to the morning after. Then, for Kate and Wills I would play this last song. "The River of Jordan" courtesy of Peter,Paul and Mary and this rendition from "Airplane!" Oh yes, this is appropriate. I traveled the banks of the River of Jordan To find where it flows to the sea. I looked in the eyes of the cold and the hungry And I saw I was looking at me. I wanted to know if life had a purpose And what it all means in the end. In the silence I listened to voices inside me And they told me again and again. There is only one river. There is only one sea. And it flows through you, and it flows through me. There is only one people. We are one and the same. We are all one spirit. We are all one name. We are the father, mother, daughter and son. From the dawn of creation, we are one. We are one. Every ...

the royal wedding: a matter of opinion?

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so I've been seeing a lot of stuff about the Royal Wedding flooding the mainstream media lately. I mean, the people in the media seem to be going apeshit about April 29 th , which isn't really that far away. which I get: it's a big deal. and I'm kind of excited about it. but I mean, like in a passive way. like I feel about the Superbowl. like I feel about most elections. I mean, I'll watch it on TV, you know? probably at a bar. probably wearing a tiara. probably holding a poodle and calling it "precious" and weeping about the fact that I will probably never ever find love. anyway! my feeling is though most Americans DO NOT care. my feeling is though most Brits (that are not me) DO NOT care. I have a few British friends so I've asked them. and the one said he didn't care and the other said that Battle of Los Angeles was a bad movie. and I was like, no shit. SO DO YOU CARE OR WHAT

PERSON OF THE YEAR

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Last year you do not remember me picking the guy that saved a flight from Amsterdam to Detroit. s'okay. this year was hard! who to pick? WHO TO PICK? Julian Assange? Kate Middleton? Betty White (just for you, Ursula?) UFFIE?!?!?! oh, that was a hard decision. like Sophie's Choice , really. then I started pondering this, hard. and the Useless Critic's person of the year was pretty obvious after hard pondering: why: “I have. I woke up in Vegas once and there was no toothpaste, but there was some leftover Jack Daniel’s. I figured it would be good for my morning breath.” “That depends. You’ve got to define ‘party girl.’ If you mean I’m a walking good time, then hells yeah. But I’m not wasted and stumbling out of clubs and getting DUIs. I’m not that kind of party girl. I may be blonde and fun as balls, but I’m not a moron.” “Oh, yeah. I don’t remember if I’ve ever made out with Katy, but I’ve kissed some b****es in my life.” “I’m sure you gathered this by now: I just do what I w...