The Useless Critic 2.0

use your Cheerios to spell "hipster" I'm sitting with Smores trying to get a feel for the only album of 2013 (with the exception of Justin Timberlake's) I care about thus far. "Isles" dropped very recently and now it's on Spotify. Voila . So I'm streaming it. Pirating is for Somalis!  I have to say, so far so good. I was worried "Keep You" would be the only sustainable track. Not the case! There are a few goodies here. In fact, I'd say it's a solid debut with little to disappoint.  A Track-By-Track Breakdown: 1.) "Keep You"- unfortunately, this is by far the takeaway track. It's a winner, but it's so 2012 already! A 2.) "It's Too Late"- Just as addictive as the previous song. I like it a lot, it seems to me some 1960s-meets-1990 fusion going on. And there's some SASSITUDE. In my music, I like sassitude . A-  3.) "Shine"- Diamond Rings meets the Ting Tings? This track aggrav...

Earlier today, Azealia Banks premiered the boisterous, in-yo'-face electro banger "Yung Rapunxel," which will be released on March 26 as the first official single from her highly anticipated debut album, Broke with Expensive Taste , due out sometime this year. My body is so ready. Meanwhile, Azealia has gotten into yet another Twitter feud —this time with Rita Ora, whom she labeled "Rihanna's understudy." Is it wrong that I actually agree with Azealia? Anyway, her album may as well be called Fifty Shades of Beef (see what I did there?). Just the mandatory GIF

I am not this cool.  If you know me, and I don't expect you know me all that well, you would realize one of my longtime dreams is to travel across America a la Jack Kerouac. Well, I did that. Recently. In a Greyhound. (Not quite the dream, per se).  I traveled to Phoenix from Erie, PA in a two-day journey we could only call "hellish." Originally it would have been roundtrip, but a work emergency caused me to miss my first bus. I flew home, but not without somehow losing my glasses in the progress. (Luck? What's that?) I'm about to describe to you this journey in the only way I know how:  vaguely passive-aggressive blogging. Chapter 1: Yelling At Old Women And Fixing Some Lady's Blackberry I left Erie on a cold and brisk Friday afternoon. I was sick to begin with- the weather took a toll on my now warm-weather-acclimated system, so I didn't even have much of a "vacation" to begin with. Plus, I had romanticized my whole trip home. Y...