The Useless Critic 2.0

IT IS HAPPENING.  Just go ahead and admit you are excited right now.  I wonder what his/her name will be!

By Guest Writer: Daryl Cox  Predictably enough our (yes 'our,' I'm totally part of the team) first game was a disappointment. Though Lescott scored first off his massive forehead, France were able to pull it back shortly after with a cracking shot from Nasri.  Look at Lescott's Forehead. What's going on there? England then did their usual thing of playing defensively in their half and just passing around. It makes for boring football. My dad reckons it's better to keep the ball than lose it, even if it's just being passed around whereas I shout 'GET FORWARD GET A GOAL.' The problem with trying to hold the ball is that England lose possession so easily and, because it's in their own half, leave themselves open to an easy goal. When they do lose possession my grandad says 'You bloody idiot' like a disappointed parent.    I think part of England's constant disappointment is that we build them up to be so much. ITV, on...

I've decided to spend the rest of November making 30 posts about songs that mean a lot to me or have a special place in my heart. this is partially in response to a writing challenge directed to me by my frans Ryan and Jeffrey. I could do poetry, but no. Poetry takes too much from me now. Sometimes I do it, but like recreational drugs, it's something I tip my toes in selectively. And prose! WELL THAT'S GOT A WHOLE LOT GOING ON THERE, SON.  So let me start with "England" by the National, which has become the anthem to 2011 in my head.   When I first heard this song, I wasn't such a fan. I don't recall why. I guess I just wrote it off as "boring." But then it kept coming up again and again and AGAIN. And again! I think I really started listening to this song once I got to New York, although it's arguable I heard it before then and nodded and said something to myself like "oh, that's pretty."  It's not just prett...

Were you paying attention to that playlist I lovingly crafted for you earlier this week? No? You are probably on something, right? I bet. You look the type.  Well on there I put a track I had JUST heard called "Something Goes Right" by the anonymous mask-wearing London producer known as SBTRKT. dumb name? probably. but take a look at him and tell me, TELL ME that mask does not remind you of Brak: or a really awesome tiki party you wish you had. anyway he's playing Brooklyn tomorrow at the Glasslands Gallery so I will probably see him because it is cheap and he's not bad. he's quite addictive, in fact. I guess this anonymous producer from London (is there something to be said for anonymity in music? look at the Knife and Sally Shapiro, I guess. the focus is not so much on them, like it would be for say Lady Gaga ((an artist FIXATED on image)) as it is the music itself) is considered "dubstep." And if he is, he's the good kind. He's p...

When you read this post, use your alien voice. In the theme of themes of music from this year, I cannot let 2010 slip away without listing another musical trend from this year. That trend of this year is the Bouzouki. Suddenly this year, I love bouzouki, and it has become a trend. Why? It is all thanks to the man Bill Bailey " seen above " who played this awesome song, known simply as "Folk Song." You may remember Bill Bailey as the face of my SCRATCHING page on Facebook. Somebody was offended by that, but really I only posted him as the face of SCRATCHING because he opened a show with "I am a big fan of laying around scratching." I am not sure what the point of that story was. But enough with my verbal smut. I wrote a play based on this bouzouki song, but I forgot the name. I love this song, and it has inspired me to become a real bouzouki fan. For some reason, I could not embed the video, so all I can do is post the hyperlink. Here is the song that chang...

Matt has exceptionally good taste in music, so I should listen to him more, no? I just am lazy and unless I hear a band and they get me on that first listen- I'm screwed. if not, well, whatev. OMG LET'S PLAY UFFIE NONSTOP AND DECIPHER HER LYRICS. "damn good cheese." THERE HAS TO BE SOMETHING HIDDEN IN THERE, SOME SUBTEXT. so he's been on my case nonstop to listen to Lush. and I've listened to Lush in passing, but inactively. I haven't allowed myself to get into it. is it the same fear that keeps me subdued on dating websites? giving myself away to random strangers/bands and then realizing they have my heart, don't care and will never give it back? that is it. UFFIE, WHAT THE HELL. IT'S JUST THE EMOTIONS, TAKING ME OVER.... all right, I listened to Lush. Matt was nice enough to pass me enough their body of work. yay! so I want to write this like a snob at a winetasting. and I hate wine. here we go: at my first sip of Lush, I am reminded of shoegazin...

The next song I'll focus on is "To Lose My Life" by White Lies. How can I really not like Editors but like them? I'll never be able to explain my actions. I haven't heard TOO MUCH of their other stuff but this song is pretty powerful, I think. has that current Interpols/Editor/I-want-to-be-Joy-Division-but-I'll-never-pull-it-off vibe to it. The recorded version is a LOT better. and that lead singer isn't bad! IS HE! sorry to steal my other posters' thunder, but I've got some strange downtime on my hands and I'm going to mold it like clay.

Matthew Jay was SO talented, and really like- gone way too soon. incredibly talented guy. incredibly, incredibly talented. and missed. if you enjoy Britpop at all, check him out. he played with Starsailor (remember them!) before his untimely death. for more info: http://www.matthewjay.com/

The Sugababes are apparently a well-known pop girl group in the UK. "Apparently" because I've never been to the UK and, thus, must rely on what I've read on the internet. They've had a number of hit singles (" Freak Like Me ," " Push the Button ," " Get Sexy ") and are pure, unadulturated pop goodness. While they might be pop, they're foreign, so it's okay to like them. On September 22 it was announced that singer Keisha Buchanan - the last remaining founding member - has left the group. She's been my favorite since I first heard " Overload " and " Run For Cover " on the internet back in 2001. I remained a fan when they rebranded after Siobhan Donaghy left in 2001, and kept listening until Mutya Buena left in 2005. Siobhan's replacement, Heidi Range (formerly of Atomic Kitten) was an acceptable replacement, but I hated Amelle Berrabah, so I gradually stopped listening. Jade Ewen has been chosen to r...