The Useless Critic 2.0

Bristol Palin has been on one of the world's most publicized and also most dramatized roads to being a hot mom. A lot of negative press has surrounded Bristol Palin. Part of it because of her family ties (you think?). Part of it is also her poor taste in men (you really think?). However, when you get to it all, Bristol Palin still looks hot. She has a good smile, and she has AMAZING legs, which were highlighted during her performances on "Dancing with the Stars." (I almost said DWTS without mentioning that I want to kill Nancy Grace...so close). When Bristol Palin wore red on DWTS, the rest of the entire season fell to the background. I have never seen a single episode of "Dancing with the Stars," and I only know about this because her red dress was broadcast on the morning news. When you wear a short dress and show off your legs, and people think it's worthy of national media attention, you are hot. When I say news, yes it was FOX News, but that is kind of ...

Dancing with the Stars first thoughts: WHYYYYYY second thoughts: I'M IN SO MUCH PAIN RIGHT NOW third thoughts: "THIS IS THE JIVE; I DIDN'T SEE JIVE." fun fact about the jive: "the jive" was actually an STD WWII soldiers brought home with them after being stationed in the Pacific. it was slowly spread in the baby boom period following WWII because these men wanted to have sex and these women wanted to be housewives. the dance mimicked the gestures of furiously seeking "relief of the genitals." fact!!!! anyway, I have to say, Kendra's breakdown was quite real. seriously, I felt that in my body, that for her to be seen not as strictly as a "tomboy" and become a "lady" with "confidence"- that was like, Precious -like moving. this is what I remember of it: "PEOPLE THINK I'M THIS PLAYBOY CONFIDENT GIRL AND I'M JUST I'M JUST NOT HER OH MY GOD PEOPLE I JUST WANT TO BE A LADY." see who does NOT have ...

like a cry for help! but here's what I have to report: - Margaret Cho had a breakdown but she's totally still in the running. - Sarah Palin is always so happy to be in the audience! this bitch will never be president! - some young black actor (not sure his name) is a really, really good dancer. I think they danced to Weezer? - the Situation came SO CLOSE to leaving, so close. - do not mess with the Floho!!!! - Michael Bolton went home. Why? because he's a no-talent asshole. and God hates him. also all his strength was in his hair. WHERE IS YOUR HAIR NOW, MICHAEL? - Jennifer Grey deserves to make it to the final rounds. - JANELLE MONAE? - the Situation needs to count his greasy blessings, for sure. - Brandy is still alive, everyone. rest happy. - how is the Hoff already gone :( p.s. for AWM: conclusion: this is the best season ever.