The Useless Critic 2.0

I am not this cool.  If you know me, and I don't expect you know me all that well, you would realize one of my longtime dreams is to travel across America a la Jack Kerouac. Well, I did that. Recently. In a Greyhound. (Not quite the dream, per se).  I traveled to Phoenix from Erie, PA in a two-day journey we could only call "hellish." Originally it would have been roundtrip, but a work emergency caused me to miss my first bus. I flew home, but not without somehow losing my glasses in the progress. (Luck? What's that?) I'm about to describe to you this journey in the only way I know how:  vaguely passive-aggressive blogging. Chapter 1: Yelling At Old Women And Fixing Some Lady's Blackberry I left Erie on a cold and brisk Friday afternoon. I was sick to begin with- the weather took a toll on my now warm-weather-acclimated system, so I didn't even have much of a "vacation" to begin with. Plus, I had romanticized my whole trip home. Y...

No, this week's episode of 2 Broke Girls wasn't named after some gay porno, although my post might make it seem otherwise. M ake sure you keep reading to find out why (wow, that wasn't at all gimmicky). Caroline is in the yard raking leaves, when Max comes back home with Chestnut saying they saw that cat they don't like. Caroline talks about how the coming of autumn is her favorite time of year, as she picks up a handful of leaves. All of a sudden, she finds a condom in it and immediately throws the leaves down. "Wow, I guess autumn really is coming," Max remarks, before presuming it was the cat who threw it over their wall. Max tells Caroline that they should start figuring out what to do with Chestnut this winter. Caroline is getting ready for her first date with Andy, and Max assumes they'll have sex. Caroline is unsure as she's never dated a poor guy before, so she asks Max what is acceptable on a first date. "Well, I'm pretty classy, ...