The Useless Critic 2.0

This guest writer is Taylor Birk, from Edinboro, PA. YES, I know "Game of Thrones" has been an ever-popular topic on here. But have at someone else's opinion. Thanks Taylor! "Game of Thrones?" More Like "Game of Pain." Painful. That’s the first word that comes to mind when I think of the third season of "Game of Thrones." It’s painful for the characters (quite literally) and painful for me (figuratively and literally). So much of this season left me, and many others, to weep into a pillow at night. And not just because of some of the traumatic events that took place in Westeros this season. Seriously. Some of those torture scenes left me in a severe amount of (psychosomatic) pain. I was late to get on the "Game of Thrones" train. A friend and I sat and watched the entire first and second season in a span of two weeks so we could watch the third season when it started. I regret not watching the show sooner, but better late...

Episode 10 Mhysa

Episode 9 The Rains of Castamere There is a reason I’ve been so tardy in getting this recap up. Because I don’t want to write it. “The Rains of Castamere” was a devastating hour of television. I know a lot of you feel the same way. And this is from someone who has read the first three novels in the series. Even though I knew what was coming, it still punched me real hard in the gut. For those of you naysayers out there that say “They’re just fictional characters/it’s just a tv show” get the fuck out right now. Wow, I am defensive today! Must be the coffee. Let’s start with the less traumatic storylines, shall we?

 Episode 8 Second Sons

Episode 7 The Bear and the Maiden Fair I thought this episode was a bit slower than the rest this season. I still liked it, plus George RR Martin himself wrote this ep, and you can't go wrong with that. It was more introspective, and it set up a lot of plot points for the next three installments which, if the novel is any indication, will be so fucking insane . So enjoy this down time while you can!

Episode 5: Kissed by Fire and Episode 6: The Climb

Episode 3 Walk of Punishment

Episode 2 Dark Wings, Dark Words I was quite drunk when I watched this episode, so my notes are a little...gushy. Lots of all-caps when several new characters make their appearance. This episode sets the framework for a lot of things to come. In the meantime, there’s plenty of deception and intrigue to be had. Much like many of the characters, we’ve a lot of ground to cover, so let’s get to it.

There has been a lot of build up to the third season of Game of Thrones. The first season was absolutely stellar, the second season, ehhh, a little not as stellar, and now we have the first half of the big, fat fatty book A Storm of Swords, where all hell starts breaking loose and - in case you thought everyone you loved was safe, you little Sansa - people start dropping like flies. The thing about all this reading and watching and spoilering business is that I hoped to take the edge off the hunger pains I was having by the first of March. It did not help. I had the bar set pretty high in terms of expectations, only to lower them slightly after reading a review of the first episode that said there was a lot of talking and exposition, to get you set up for the rest of the season. But it didn't matter, in the end. Because Game of Thrones. So I'm also building on what Kurt already wrote -- and his review is awesome, btw -- and I'm trying not to repeat so much or at leas...

  Girls Episode 10 Together Stop. Just stop. Let me explain where I’m coming from. I’m the kind of person that loves a good relationship drama. I’ve watched Queer as Folk (US and UK) and The L Word (even the atrocious final season). I watch romantic comedies that don’t actively insult my intelligence ( Celeste and Jesse Forever comes to mind). In certain parts of this episode, I felt like the show devolved into a sad parody of a Kate Hudson rom-com. Let’s just get to it, and we can say goodbye to this well-intentioned but seriously flawed finale.