The Useless Critic 2.0

It's basically a trippy powerpoint with a lot of drawn out God metaphors and imagery. Brad Pitt plays a classic non Brad Pitt like (DUH HE'S PERFECT IN REAL LIFE) asshole. Dinosaurs appear and so do strange marine creatures, I am not sure what you would call then? Gigantic manatees from the prehistoric ages? Sean Penn is maybe in fifteen minutes of this film, which makes it EXTRA bearable. And when he does show up, all he does is think outloud. like long, pondering thoughts. Existential crisis, OH NO! The plot of this film, thanks to Mr. Malick, has been under serious wraps. what I can tell you is there's really no plot. it's Terrence Malick, for the love of god. what did you expect? it's a vehicle for some spiritual message. which I thought was kind of cool and I actually sort of got! surprisingly! nay, SHOCKINGLY! Jessica Chastain is the breakout star here. look for her in the future. NEEDS MOAR DINOSAURS

REMEMBER I TOLD YOU THIS WAS COMING ALICE IS AWESOME

This is like the best piece of celebrity gossip I have heard in EONS so listen up suckers: In Touch Weekly’s Brangelina story this week is about how they’re fighting over Rachel McAdams. And no, it’s not a story about how both Brad and Angelina both want to sleep with Rachel, although that’s the route I would have gone if I was writing this stuff. It’s basically this: Brad invited Rachel McAdams and a few of his friends to the South of France, to stay at the Chateau Miraval with them. When Angelina found out about Brad extending the invitation to Rachel, she “laid down the law, forbidding him from inviting her”. Brad Pitt insisted he was only trying to be a good host when he invited Rachel McAdams to his chateau. But even though Rachel stars in the Pitt-produced Time Traveler’s Wife, Angelina seemed convinced he was more interested in pleasure than business. “Angelina has been jealous of Rachel ever since she found some photos of her on Brad’s camera, which he had taken at the New Yor...

- there are apparently Trojans on this website? :( I feel bad about this. I am sorry. I don't know how this happened. but it's so- you know, anyone can do this. so maybe we got hacked? I'm sorry. I was alerted by my friend and I certainly don't want to harm anybody's computer. - Sufjan Stevens is in Cleveland September 24th. No Pittsburgh. stupid website. that's all for now.