The Useless Critic 2.0

Phoenix-based singer-songwriter gnarz just released his latest track, "Take It Easy." I fell in love with his voice last year when I heard the sweetly melancholic "Lost," and although I have a cursory knowledge of the local music scene, I've kept him on my radar since. This song is a little more upbeat, and has a country-esque feel to it in places. I had to love the shoutouts to Gwen Stefani and David Bowie, two of gnarz's inspirations. In some places, it comes off almost like spoken word. It's definitely unique, and gives a glimpse into gnarz's promise as a musician. And his voice is great - rich and warm, it makes for very pleasant listening. Check out this fun little track below! And if I see any shows pop up for gnarz in the Phoenix region (and beyond), I'll definitely share the details. 

As most of you know, I've been extremely skeptical of Gwen Stefani's solo career the past several years. And the skepticism has only increased as time has gone on. I like to think Blake Shelton was the final kiss of death, but I will say her last album did have some surprisingly awesome cuts. And "Let Me Reintroduce Myself" is a grower, and the music video is truly endearing.  HOWEVER. Gwen's second single off her yet untitled upcoming album …. woof . It's called "Slow Clap" and it's meant to be a story of resilience. Maybe? Possibly? I don't know what to tell you about "Slow Clap." We all know that "the clap" is slang for a not-very-pleasant STI, and it seems like that's the closest thing Gwen achieves here. Even having "the clap" is infinitely more preferable than hearing this abomination of a song ever again. This isn't me trying to overexaggerate here. I have only been able to stomach listening to thi...

Okay, so I find this song jarring and not great, but I cannot lie and say I don't like the music video. It's kind of adorable. My only problems: She acknowledges the Blake era (INTERNAL SCREAMING) and she has the Harujuku girls appear. Which I guess the context of these dancers is way less weird than it was, say, 20 years ago - but still, probably something that could be best left forgotten. Anyway though, overall, it's good to see Gwen still having fun and recreating her classic looks. And is the song that bad? It's kind of a grower. I would probably give it a B- if I had to. Not great, not as awful as I was convinced it was after my initial unremarkable listen. 

I've had a very special spot in my heart for Gwen Stefani the majority of my life. She was definitely my big childhood love (I had the biggest crush on her as a kid) and as I got older, her music was very nostalgic and comfortable to me. I still listen to No Doubt pretty frequently, even though I tend to feel like I've outgrown them to a degree.  I can't say the exact same thing for Gwen's solo career. I still think she's one of the most formidable (and legendary) women in pop, but suffice to say, musically her ship has sailed for me. "This Is What the Truth Feels Like" (her last solo pop album, we do not speak of the Christmas album in these parts) had some really stellar moments, but overall was not on the same level as her debut, which is a pretty decent pop album. (Sans, of course, the weird fetishization of the Harajuku girls ... even high school me was like what is happening here?) "The Sweet Escape," too, was pretty muddied - but its stron...

Most of you know that I adore Gwen Stefani. I have most of my life! Even at the end of the day while I stand bewildered by her current choices, I still very much am a fan. Perhaps not as fervently as I once was; I think that time might be over. I think my Twitter bio has been updated to reflect this sentiment.  The last year has been ... trying for us OG Gwen/No Doubt fans. A lot of us fell in love with her because she was punk lite, the quirky girl next door who was kind of a badass but also kind of a dork. She was sweet but she was powerful. And as she got older, she became more of a badass, more defined in her own confidence. Remember "Rock Steady" era Gwen or when she dueted with Eve? Fuck yes, for lack of a better term.  But somewhere in the past year she has gone into soccer mom on steroids mode. And I mean, at first I was like, whatever. I should be supportive, you know? Okay, so maybe "This Is What the Truth Feels Like" wasn't the best album ever, bu...

Last Friday, March 18, ageless queen Gwen Stefani finally released her long-awaited third solo studio album, This Is What the Truth Feels Like , her first in almost ten years. Damn, I can't believe it's been a decade since The Sweet Escape ! Last October, following her highly publicized divorce from her husband of 13 years, Gavin Rossdale, Gwen dropped the emotional lead single "Used to Love You." Given its confessional nature, I instantly expected the album to include lots of angsty, lovelorn ballads in the vein of " Early Winter " (one of the best ballads of all time ), " 4 in the Morning ," and " Don't Speak ." The following month, after weeks of speculation, Gwen confirmed she was in a relationship with her The Voice co-host Blake Shelton, which would inevitably become an additional source of inspiration for her upcoming album. I'm still not quite sure how I feel about these two being an item. Blake is actually kind of...

Attention everyone: Supreme goddess Gwen Stefani has unveiled the title, release date, cover art, and track listing for her highly anticipated third solo album!! The album is titled This Is What the Truth Feels Like , and it's due out March 18. Ugh, the bitch doesn't age Update ( 2/ 12): Here's the standard, non-Targe t cover for the album. 1. Misery 2. You’re My Favorite 3. Where Would I Be? 4. Make Me Like You 5. Truth 6. Used to Love You 7. Send Me a Picture 8. Red Flag 9. Asking f or It 10. Naughty 11. Me Without You 12. Rare An exclusive Target deluxe edition – which you can pre-order here – includes four bonus tracks. Following " Used to Love You ," the album's second single, "Make Me Like You ," is set to impact mainstream radio next Tuesday, February 16. Stefani is also teaming up with Target to produce the video for the song, to be directed by Sophie Muller, who helmed several of Stefani's videos. The...

For starters, I'd like to introduce this by stating it's not going to be overly elaborate or ornate; I'm not even going to Google anything if I don't have to (!!!). I'm sure once I finish writing this up, I'll think of several bands/musicians I should have included, but I'm running out of time, so to paraphrase Allen Ginsberg: "First thought, best thought." Music From 2015 (or just about that) That I Enjoyed in 2015 I'll try to leave out Irina's picks. I'm not huge on redundancy, except on my social media updates. Big Grams   Big Boi + Phantogram = Surprising greatness! I was a bit skeptical when I heard about this collaboration, but it was more or less seamlessly executed. There are a few cringeworthy moments on their debut album - Sarah's rapping is endearing but awkward and Skrillex managed to pull off what sounds like an audio panic attack, but other than that, Big Grams should have been our summer soundtrack ... it ...

Attention - hold the presses - Gwen has debuted new music! :O GWEN   And you thought this was just an average Saturday night. Well, no more! Put down that pumpkin spice latte (do I need to capitalize that?) and follow me!     It's called "Used to Love You" and, because Gwen is a vulnerable poet (holla), we pretty much can assume the song's impetus. But pain makes great art, as history has demonstrated to us again  and again . I only write poetry after break-ups, and at the time, I usually make sure I am wearing lots of clothing I purchased with my Mom's credit card at Hot Topic.   So, thoughts:   1.) Are you ready for "Tragic Kingdom: Part Deux?" I don't know if I am, but, it could be a good thing. Remember Gwen - make GOLD from the poop life has handed and sell that poop! (TM)   2.) Is Gavin ready for this? Because ... you're in for a treat dude ...   3.) Is Taylor Swift going to co-write a song on this new albu...

This is such a timeless, superior ballad. I still get chills every time I listen to it—especially because it had quite a personal meaning for me some five years ago. I love how Gwen successfully manages to sound plaintive, heartbroken, and angry without coming across as corny or forced (take notes, Adele). The fact that it's the last solo single that Gwen has released to date makes it all that sadder. The music video is a stunning complement to the song, including breathtaking shots of Gwen in three European cities: Milan, Budapest, and Prague. I just have a lot of feelings

SURPRISE, BITCH. Last Saturday (April 12), queen Gwen Stefani pulled a Madison Montgomery on the crowd at Coachella as she joined Pharrell Williams onstage to perform her 2005 hit "Hollaback Girl." I know it's her biggest solo hit yet and it was produced by The Neptunes, but it isn't exactly my favorite Gwen song. The whole thing was pretty awesome and exciting anyway, I mean, she's Gwen fucking Stefani after all. I wonder if this means that Gwen might make a solo comeback soon! Gwen, if you're reading this (of course she is), I need a new solo album in my life!! I'm so sick of seeing Pharrell everywhere, though. And his dumbass hat as well. Can someone kill it with fire already?

We all know Carrie Underwood's live "Sound of Music" was kind of a flop. This is because there will only ever be one Julie Andrews; we all KNOW that. Oh dear! However, SNL did an excellent job this past One Direction/Paul Rudd/"Anchorman"-crazy weekend parodying it. In fact, they even brought back Kristen Wiig as that freak with short arms to help parody it. You must watch this and you must enjoy this !!!! I admittedly have not been watching must SNL lately...give me time, dammit. I just started watching "Parks and Rec" again. Come back Ann Perkins! p.s. did you know Gwen Stefani's favorite movie is "The Sound of Music?" Food for motherfucking thought!

I remember a long time ago there was a feature like this, but whatever this is MY TAKE on it.  so Men's Health has come and said that Jennifer Aniston is the hottest woman of all time (OF ALL TIME, so says Kanye). Nothing against Jenny, but WHAT. and this is the result of a poll! A poll! So multiple braindead men had a say in it!  BUT WHAT IF IT WAS MY POLL, IMAGINED FROM MY BEDROOM WHEN I'M HALF-ASLEEP? Angelina Jolie and Marilyn Monroe are hot, sure. I'm not arguing. but who else... GWEN STEFANI this girl is always so hot. she would melt THE SUN if that was possible. SERIOUSLY. please reconsider your sexuality now if you like men. who else? hmm.... this is Marion Cotillard. now I'm not a very sexual person but I would destroy her. I am just saying. I don't care. judge me. it'd be like if a diabetic wanted to commit suicide and went to a bakery. Mila, obviously. I don't need to say much more. she knows that I want to interview ...