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Showing posts from September, 2010

rock hall noms sort of out

and there's been a big buzz over it, as usual. Alice Cooper, Bon Jovi, Donna Summer and Neil Diamond are among the names being tossed around. I'd say they all have a very good chance. Donna Summer- I mean, "I Feel Love," Jesus! you know what's funny? the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is in Cleveland yet the concert is in NYC. bah. now, if I ran things, which like I've said before I SHOULD here would be the only nominees this year: (keep note, that's my Halloween costume) and YES. so until the Rock Hall realizes this, null and void, my friends, null and void. AL-STYLE QUESTION: WHO DO YOU WANT IN A MUSEUM IN CLEVELAND?

Another RIP: Greg Giraldo

So Tony Curtis has passed away, and so has former and recent spotlight/shoutout champion Greg Giraldo. It feels like yesterday that I just wrote the S/S for GG, a well-crafted comedian and actor. but time moves faster than we think. He died of an overdose from prescription meds. Sadly, he had rumored to have been clean for the last few years. On a note that is not often discussed is, Greg G was Harvard educated, and received a Juris Doctor. His time in the legal field was brief, but that is still an admirable accomplishment. RIP Greg, thanks for the laughs.

Spotlight/Shoutout: Maz Jobrani

Good evening Wednesday!! So during my time outside of the U S and A, someone happened to show us the Axis of Evil Comedy Tour, which included comedian and actor Maz Jobrani. This guy is hilarious, and I am curious as to why he is not more popular. Perhaps it is because he is Persian! No joke! (See what I did there, I said "no joke" because he is a comedian") Much of his act revolves around Iranian stereotypes and Middle Eastern references, but he does it very well. If you want to laugh, check him out on Youtube. Also, some guy in Sweden told me that Pablo Francisco was the most popular comedian in the world, so I Youtube'd his stuff, and I was not impressed. I was like.....I am not laughing....something must be wrong. QATFYG: Do you prefer to say Iranian or Persian when dealing with people from the Kabob capital of the world. Example Sentence: I went to a Persian whorehouse vs. I went to an Iranian whorehouse...which rolls better off the tonge? Also, have you seen P

you need to hear this! LISSIE

Do you like Ellie Goulding? Do you like American folk music? Do you wonder what would happen if these two things got married and made an unholy musical love child? Enter LISSIE. who is, just. um. Lissie. no last name. think Cher. I feel like Miss Lissie has the potential to get very big. Watch and learn. She's used two covers, one of "Bad Romance" by Lady Gaga and the other "Pursuit of Happiness" by Kid Cudi/MGMT wisely to her advantage. If you are an up-and-coming pop star these days, advice: COVER A BIG SONG. SOMEONE WILL HEAR IT AND THINK IT IS BRILLIANT. Luckily, in Lissie's case, it's just so: OMG, do you remember I mentioned Ellie Goulding before? I like Ellie Goulding a lot but it's mostly because I do find her attractive. very attractive. yeah I'm shallow, deal with it, BUT LOOK THEY'RE DUETING: maybe making out? I can only dream. anyway, despite its pop aspirations, there is something refreshingly natural about Lissie. she seems to

I WATCHED DANCING WITH THE STARS

like a cry for help! but here's what I have to report: - Margaret Cho had a breakdown but she's totally still in the running. - Sarah Palin is always so happy to be in the audience! this bitch will never be president! - some young black actor (not sure his name) is a really, really good dancer. I think they danced to Weezer? - the Situation came SO CLOSE to leaving, so close. - do not mess with the Floho!!!! - Michael Bolton went home. Why? because he's a no-talent asshole. and God hates him. also all his strength was in his hair. WHERE IS YOUR HAIR NOW, MICHAEL? - Jennifer Grey deserves to make it to the final rounds. - JANELLE MONAE? - the Situation needs to count his greasy blessings, for sure. - Brandy is still alive, everyone. rest happy. - how is the Hoff already gone :( p.s. for AWM: conclusion: this is the best season ever.

Oh my fucking God

Can't get away from this bitch anywhere. Cycle through the ads on Last.fm if you really want to know how to get on this. Al-style Question: Are you gonna watch?

these are end times!

- The first thing I heard upon reentering the States was that, no, not that the recession was over or not that Bob Woodward just wrote some new tell-all about President Obama's homeland security philosophy, but that JENNIFER ANISTON WAS BACK IN THE ARMS OF JOHN MAYER. I grabbed Al's arm at the JFK newsstand. it was like Maria when talking to Anita in West Side Story after Tony kills Bernardo. MAKE IT NOT BE TRUE! MAKE IT NOT BE TRUE! - Los Angeles is experiencing record-breaking heat. not just for September, but FOREVER. - Pittsburgh is hosting its first-ever fashion week. like, I don't even know what to say about this. how is this possible? is Donatella going to be there? should I go and bring my Coach bag and my dog Toto? I'M SO CONFUSED I NEED VODKA. - Members of the U.S. Air Force are reporting an increase in UFO activity- an increase, really?- around nuclear weapons facilities. Mulder! Scully! When Obama was briefed about aliens- OFFICIAL: President, you need to

That Pop That's Next

I really like pop all of a sudden so I feel the need to give this site a State of Pop Address every so often. FYI, Katy Perry is still horrible. Moving on. Last year, Cherrytree Records brought you Lady Gaga and La Roux, two flawed artists with killer hit songs. Presumably, next year, Cherrytree Records WILL bring you the debut of one flawless artist, Colette Carr. The wildcard is Natalia Kills, but if this single is any indication, her debut album will be worth a listen. Check out this mix of zombie rave, ghost trance, witch house, Twighlight and electropop. Addendum: I won a copy of the Colette Carr mixtape on alexkazemi.com and I'm kind of excited about it, but I lost the Body Talk Pt. 2 draw so I'm going to have to buy it in stores.

New Plan: Comedy Central Roast of Judge Judy

My idea: Comedy Central roasts Judge Judy. Why? Because it would be funny, and she is old! It would be almost as good as if they roasted Barb Walters, but I am sure some fembot would complain (Diane Sawyer). I would love to see JJ get torn apart by people less successful than her! I don't give orders to comedy central, but stick this on your calender, and I will be waiting. So if this were to happen, who would be on the panel of insulting, washed-up, rejected comedians? Obv Greg Giraldo and Jeff Ross. (Boredom) Gilbert Gottfried. Perhaps, Martin Sheen. Someone from the cast of the Fresh Prince. Raven-Simone. Wolf Blitzer. New York. Sarah Palin's son-in-law (if he aint snorting his mother's oxy-cotin pills) and of course, Mitch Hedberg...shit, he's dead. Too soon? By the way, if you are wondering what the point of this post is...the answer is nothing! QATFYG: How exactly do you spell Oxy-Cotin? No idea.

Happy Homecoming, Edinboro

my alma mater has gone insane

So the school I graduated from in May, Edinboro University of Pennsylvania, has made the really wise decision to close their libraries on Saturdays. It just makes me so happy I don't go to that school anymore. The ridiculous thing is the school just spent a shitload of money on a Fighting Scot statue, that, I'm sorry, is no where near as useful as a library. my mother told me, over coffee and newspapers this morning, that the statue is in fact "scary." I believe it! all I can think of is like, a bronze version of Mel Gibson with blood dripping from his mouth. eeee! anyway, if you go to Edinboro, or care about what this says about the ever-declining state of the American education system, please join the little facebook thing: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Pawning-off-the-Fighting-Scot-statue-to-keep-the-library-open-Saturdays/156554371040450?v=wall

"Mine"- Taylor Swift

WATCH THIS shout-out to my girl Wenli for showing this to me. questions: a.) WHY IS SHE SO TALENTED b.) does this video creep you out? I can't think of Taylor going past first base. leaving a box of her stuff at a boy's place is more than that! :/ rating: A, even if it is a little begrudging!

Carolina Chocolate Drops

I have no idea how I discovered this band, but I did somehow recently and I'm hooked! This song is called "Snowden's Jig (Genuine Negro Jig)". Yes. The band is called Carolina Chocolate Drops. Adorable, right? This one is just instrumental, but they have a slew of other songs with words you can sing along to, including a cover of Blu Cantrell's 'Hit Em Up Style' . The song "Snowden's Jig" in particular has an interesting story behind it if you want to check the story out over at their YouTube page . I say they should open up for Andrew Bird when he starts touring again! Carolina Chocolate Drops are a three-piece old time string band from North Carolina; they're actually one of the few black string bands left in the United States! So...catch them before they...leave, or something.

Spotlight/Shoutout: Al Jolson

Finally back in the USA, and back to the spotlight. Al is a good name,and he changed his name from Asa to Al. Asa is not a good name. and he crossed a lot of barriers. And as Britt Kemp pointed out: he has been dead for a long time. She is mumbling something from a bed right now: Long time....movie is old like he is....it is a dinosaur terd. QATFYG: What is a better name than AL?

Crank dem Social Networks

Let me tell you what's new on the Internet. Robyn is up to something. Add her on Facebook. Additionally, Colette Carr has been active on Facebook. She will basically 'like' whatever you post on her wall, and she's been giving out signed copies of her mixtape for various monkey business that you can do for her on the Internet. I have yet to win one, but I am certain that this is a clerical error. Stay Tooned. She is also going to guest star on the ABC series 'The Whole Truth' in the near future. You can hate me now. But I won't stop now. Cause I can't stop now. You can hate me nnoooww .

jenny hearts johnny and vice versa

does that not sound like it would be amazing carved onto a desk in your high school health class? just about. it rolls off the tongue like I used to think CHRISTOPHER and JENNIFER did (oh, to be three again). this is a real update from my Swedish hostel. I just took a cold shower and survived a Saved By the Bell influenced nightmare. yes, my friends, like the M&M commericial: THEY DO EXIST. anyway, before I left the USA, I picked up this album. and I have not listened to much music on my trip other than the sounds of Lykke Li, Robyn, Camille and Edith Piaf, but I have been forming an opinion on the long-awaited collaboration between the real life couple for a while. I feel comfortable in letting that opinion go now. all in all, it is a cute album. it is a sweet album. it´s fun, you want to pinch it by the cheeks. not in a creepy way that would make the recipient feel gross afterwards, but in a good way, like something not so creepy. Jenny and Johnny are in looooove, but not overly

hello from sweden

hey everybody, a little HI from Sweden land. which has been great thus far. except I am stupid and drank a little too much, so right now I am currently trying to fight off the overwhelming urge to vomit all over the lobby of my hostel. anyone that provides entertainment for me will be greatly rewarded in paradise with 3 virgins. p.s. Al is asleep, pretty sure I am the only one awake in this hostel.

Jams Update

I am the leader of a gang of a thousand rats. In Pittsburgh, there are very few record stations that play good music like pop music and rap music. There used to be a station called WAMO but it got taken down because I guess Liberty Bail Bonds isn't a good enough sponsor to pay for the entire station. WAMO played jams like " Messin' with the Same Girl " by Usher and R-Kelly, " Wipe Me Down " by Lil Boosie, and " The Way I Live " by Baby Boy Da Prince. Since WAMO has shut down, my ability to find jams is sorely diminished. Somehow, magically, I have guffudled my way onto great albums like Colette Carr's Sex Sells: Stay Tooned , Robyn's Body Talk Pts. 1 and 2, and Kid Sister's Ultraviolet , all of which I have discussed at length on this website. With jam discovery becoming virtually impossible , I believe this blog is a great chance to reach out. Tonight, my car speakers caught a note on the night air. A faint broadcast from Washingt

A 180 From Sweden

VS. So I am in Sweden, and I was wondering....what is the opposite of Swedish music and culture, and all I can think of is...... LSG so here is ¤My Body¤ from the band LSG. My body all over your body, babe (It's your, yeah) Your body all over my body, babe (Said, it's your body) My body all over your body It's your body, babe (It's yours body, babe) All over my body, babe (My body) My body all over your body, babe (Said, it feels so good) Your body all over my body, babe (Said, it feels so nice, so nice) My body all over your body (It's your body, babe) Oh, it's your body, baby If I beg, please, play on My, my, my body, yeah Keep on playin' on QATFYG: To You! What is the opposite of Sweden?

QUEEN GODDESS FIONA APPLE MCAFEE MAGGART

Someone hold me. I can't breathe. I CAN'T BREATHE. IS THIS REAL LIFE. CAN I FEEL MY FINGERS TYPING THIS AND MY EYES LOOKING AT THIS RIGHT NOW. SHE'S APPARENTLY WORKING WITH DRUMMER CHARLEY DRAYTON on her new album, to be released next SPRING. OF 2011. Oh Lawd. Have mercy. I feel like this right now:

A Review of the VMAs

First off let me start by saying that I didn't watch the VMAs. I didn't know they were on; I had to have my hair done; I'm kind of going through some stuff right now. Don't judge. Don't hate me. Don't hate anyone, just Love. We only get one chance to live in this world, so we might as well do it right. Secondly, I heard TWO things after the fact. 1) Kanye West yonk yonk wawawawa really good new song. 2) Robyn performed. I will now discuss these in reverse order. Assuming YouTube didn't take it down yet, here is a video of someone's television watching the VMAs watching Robyn perform. It's a special remix version by some Mickey Mouse looking thing that you are welcome to read about for yourself . What did you notice about this clip. Oh yeah, Dancing on My Own is not 17 seconds long. Maybe it's just a fluke because some fanatic YouTuber missed part of it. N O PE. The actual VMA website only boasts a slightly longer clip. It's fai

Roger Ebert Shall Return

So, yahoo news reports that film critic, Roger Ebert shall return to television with a new film review show. You cannot keep Roger Ebert down. QATFYG: Do you miss the days of Siskel and Ebert? Or do you have nostalgia for Ebert, Roper, and the Movies? PS: My last post before I disappear into the forests of herringland for a week.

Another SNL sucks post

The end of summer is an exciting time for many people - you start school supply shopping, your favorite shows end their summer hiatus, and there's no more excuses for licking Cheeto dust off of your fingers and lulzing around on Tumblr, because, you know, you have school now and everything -but the end of the summer is doubly exciting for late night comedy nerds. The Saturday Night Live season usually begins in late September or early October, and late summer is when we get first news of cast member changes and host and musical guest announcements. For some of us, we pee in our pants out of excitement (will there finally a person of color in the cast? will Frabby be in a skit together?), and for everyone else, it's just another chance to yell "SNL SUCKS NOW" in every every other day leading up to the premiere. NBC recently announced that SNL cast member Jenny Slate, who began her first episode by dropping the f-bomb on live television, will not be returning this sea

Spotlight/Shoutout: Alexander Skarsgard

So, as some know, I am a big fan of the show "True Blood," and that is partly to Alexander Skarsgard. His name name is supposed to have a little circle above one of the letters, but he needs to drop that now that his in America. Skarsgard really adds a lot to the show, and after all he is SWEDISH. Now, enjoy this stamp of Swedish Ants. QATFYG: How many ants do you really think there are in Sweden? I will tell you next Wed.

5 Reasons why the Useless Critic is Better than Time Magazine

The Useless Critic does not 1. Exploit the Muslims and the Jews. 2. Show awkward photos of poor people in Louisiana. 3. Complain in a non-enjoyable way. 4. Focus gratuitously on sadness. 5. Give advice on shopping (and only promote those darn Sony products.) Two Reasons Why TIME is better than the Useless Critic. TIME has 1. Fancy Red Type. 2. Joel Stein. QATFYG: Are you a fan of TIME?

Kid Sister "Big N Bad"

Kid Sister "Big N Bad" on Vimeo . Hi I am going to write this post like a kid because Kid Sister is a kid. So here are some facts about Kid Sister. Kid Sister is older than me because Kid Sister was born on July 3, 1980 and I was born on April 13, 1983. That is why Kid Sister is older than me. Kid Sister does rap but she also does R&B. I looked up Kid Sister on the Internet and Kid Sister is from Illinois. Kid Sister mom is white but her dad is black. Allmusic does not like the Kid Sister album Ultraviolet but it is a good album. It has good songs. That is all I have to say about Kid Sister!

brittany's book club: the world is flat

so I was searching through my bookshelves to find some books to read, as opposed to buying more or going to the library, where they hate me. I found a few books, but then I decided, I have a long ass flight ahead of, LET'S DO THIS UP. LET'S GET THE BIGGEST BOOK I CAN FIND THAT'S NOT THE BIBLE. lo and behold, I grabbed my father's weathered copy of the World is Flat by New York Times columnist Thomas L. Friedman. He has won the Pulitzer three times. that's more than me! my father loves nonfiction, which is where we differ. well we differ in a lot more areas but I'll focus here. I like well-written, captivating nonfiction. it seems rare to find something that keeps my interest in that area, though, that's not a celebrity biography. my father (recommending me a book): Brittany, this book is about real people. me: are you implying the Animorphs aren't real? my father: Brittany, this book is about a real person who lived and breathed and died just like we al

YOU NEED TO HEAR THIS- september! september!

As Rebecca waxed earlier, the first signs of fall are upon us. The cloudscapes are gloomier; the air is colder; STARBUCKS UNVEILS THEIR NEW FALL LINE-UP. TV shows begin again, streets are quiet in the afternoon, so forth. there are certain kinds of music that put me in the mood for the fall season. I like relaxing music; I like the sort of music you could study or take a nap to. well maybe not like, a full nap, but an afternoon siesta deal. and why Starbucks has not jumped on Sam and Ruby, I will never know completely! they're this acoustic soul duo straight out of the American south (Nashville, to be specific!). and they were perfect for long, lazy summer days but now they're great for doing whatever it is we do in the fall. pick pumpkins? get ready to hibernate? IDK. their voices gently coincide and work off each other in an easygoing way. it's just some of the most beautiful, peaceful, real music I've fallen upon lately. If you like (shudder) John Mayer or Jack Johns

Just for Fun Camp Rock 2 Review Comments.

So for those of you who do not know, Camp Rock 2 is the sequel to Camp Rock 1. Believe it or not that surprised me :P Don't ask why. So this stars Demi Lovato as the possibly half latina Mitchie Torres, and the Joe of Jonas as a quote unquote Rock star. Although, all the music that was performed did not really feel the slightest bit like Rock music. It was more like dramatized pop, which don't get me wrong is fun. And you couldn't really call the movie "Camp Dramatized Pop." The only people that would go would be myself and the guy that gives me French lessons. So the movie is a battle between the down to earth folk of Camp Rock and the super heart-throbbing masturbation material of Camp Star (from across the lake.) So it's no surprise who wins the battle in the "Final Jam." But as for ratings I give this a 390, and numbers are meaningless so you can figure out on your own if it is good or bad. Better than "Princess Protection Program," but

Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow is HUGE!

So tomorrow at midnight, it begins. So not actually tomorrow, but it'll feel like tomorrow. The 3 day novel contest. 72 hours and you have to create a novel. I did it last year, and it was one of the best experiences of my life. Try it 3 days, and you make 1 novel! It's fantastic. But also tomorrow....It's finally here the premiere of Camp Rock 2. hmmmmmm....so much excitement! PS: CR 2 better not suck! QATFYG: How fast can you write?

Hipster Things

Hipster question number one: Do you know what today is? It's the opening of Pumpkin Spice Latte season at Starbucks! I wait all year for this day. Bring on the sweaters and scarves. Side note: I got a wool cup sleeve. It's actually better than those cardboard ones. Hipster question number two: Do you know what Saturday was? It was the opening of the Apple store in the Ross Park Mall. The grand opening shirts were sub-par. However, the architecture isn't bad. I'm dreaming that this store will be less busy than the Shadyside store. (I'm bound to be wrong.) Hipster question number three: What are your hipster vices?

Spotlight/Shoutout: Greg Giraldo

This has been said once!! And I shall say it again. Greg Giraldo has so much potential as a comedian, but where does it all go wrong? What separates people like him who cannot afford food, from people like Carlos Mencia and or even George Lopez? Perhaps it because he is not Hispanic! Just kidding, he totally is. What does this have to with anything? I am not sure. Back to the point. He could be a top comedian, but something about him just doesn't fully sell the routine. Nevertheless, he takes the s/s for the week. This is kind of like an A for effort! QATFYG: So apparently there was this blogger named BarelyJen that did a column called "shout-out: spotlight." Not cool! I would complain, but she started hers almost a year before s/s. Small world!!