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Showing posts from January, 2011

Death Metal Blog Post by Nader Bouberhan

Death Metal Blog Post So this is a post that is bringing back a time in life that still exists. Wait, that doesn’t make any sense. I think what I was trying to say is during many years of High School, while other people were off having gratuitous social lives, I was at home listening to hours and hours of death metal. I looked at myself as a not only a pish posh metal fanatic, but rather a philosopher and musicologist in my Death Metal obsession. --Now, this is the point where I get to sound even more like screwball mush . I don’t listen to Death Metal because of any form of anger, masochism, or unfriendliness. I like to listen to this type of music when I am excited, but it is more than that. Everyone always seems to lump Death Metal in with anger and hatred…..and most of the time they have the right to do so. But the connection I have with this genre is an appreciation of the most extreme moments in life, an appreciation to see just how heavy music can get and to find art where most

A Slice of Death Metal by AWM

by AWM I'm not trying to say that I know shit about death metal or that you ought to listen to this death metal, but I've had a few drinks and I'm reading to take it down like Chico Dusty. The first thing you need to know is that death metal developed because bands like Possessed started writing thrash metal that was just too fierce to be called thrash. Some people dispute this fact, but I'm not here to win the Pulitzer. Possessed's Seven Churches is some legit ranked shit and albums that are somewhere between death and thrash hold a special place in my heart as a huge thrash fan, but I'm not going to talk about it here today. The first album I'm going to tell you about is over 20 years old and it's still harder than a teenager at a strip club. It's Morbid Angel's Altars of Madness . This is perhaps the only good thing to ever come out of South Florida, music-related or otherwise. It cemented Trey Azagthoth as a metal guitar god, and wa

25 years ago today

I remember Columbia in 2003 and thinking "this didn't just happen again! it couldn't have!" I'm stuck in Detroit for the night. send help.

mix for January 2011.

I'm going to start making these on a monthly basis: artists included: JJ CUT COPY DIAMOND RINGS ANORAAK JUNIOR BOYS THE BLACK KEYS CASIOKIDS THE MORNING BENDERS LYKKE LI TESLA BOY NOAH AND THE WHALE LADYHAWKE SPOON WHITE LIES MSTRKRFT POGO THE NEW PORNOGRAPHERS PHOENIX U2 WALTER MEEGO

the fiery furnaces, frasier, goodbye!

We have been around for two years. holy shit? thanks for reading! THIS IS FOR YOU, DEVOTED READERS: The Fiery Furnaces - Even in the Rain from Thrill Jockey Records on Vimeo . The Fiery Furnaces are a hit or miss, but sometimes: they are right on target. New York and DC are calling SNOWMAGEDDON again. apparently they have just experienced what I have known to be a reality for years: thundersnow. I guess NYC had to close its schools for the first time in forever and my sister hasn't been at school in a few days so whatever. It's snowing here, and I'm out in public. anyway, I am going to embark out of Erie on what is the plane equivalent of a shoebox into Detroit and then I fly to Seattle and hope that I look interesting enough on the plane by myself that someone talks to me. I've actually never flown by myself before, so I'm a little scared, but hey. not as scared as I am for my eardrums, which don't take to elevations well at all. I'm also

Check out this 'Rude Boy' remix

I will surely soon return to obscurity.

Possible Misspellings of Waka Flocka Flame

- Wocka Flocka Flame - Wocka Flaka Flame - Wocka Flacka Flame - Waka Flaka Flame - Waka Flacka Flame - Wacka Flocka Flame - Wacka Flaka Flame - Wacka Flacka Flame - Woka Flocka Flame - Woka Flaka Flame - Woka Flacka Flame - Wakka Flocka Flame - Wakka Flacka Flame - Wakka Flaka Flame - Wakka Flakka Flame - Wocka Flakka Flame - Waka Flakka Flame - Wacka Flakka Flame - Wocca Flocka Flame - Wocca Flacka Flame - Wocca Flakka Flame - Wocca Flaka Flame - Wocca Flaca Flame - Wacca Flocka Flame - Wacca Flacca Flame - Wacca Floka Flame - Wacca Flaka Flame - Waka Flocca Flame - Wocka Flocca Flame - Wacka Flocca Flame - Woka Flocca Flame Did I get them all? Who is this guy's manager? Oh, that's right. His mom. Seriously, try these in Ebay. Maybe you can get his album on the cheap, after you order a PLATSATION or a NITENDO 64. Even Gucci Mane's people got it wrong on their most recent mixtape. We go hard in the mothafuckin' MS Paint. QTTFYGSM: Do you know any other artist with

KEREN ANN to play Pittsburgh

June 11 2011 Andy Warhol Museum Keren Ann. Keren Ann - My name is trouble Uploaded by EMI_Music . - See the latest featured music videos. WEIRD. edit: after doing some thinking, I realized: she got her travel plans mixed up. duh! she wanted to go to Romania but this happened.

SPOTLIGHT: Angus T. Jones

Good morning, evening, and other times of Wednesday. So this week’s spotlight goes to Big Angus T. Jones from “Two and a Half Men.” Why? Because he is rich. There are many mixed opinions about the show, and I find some things funny. Other things are not so haha, but more haHO. Suck on that Charlie Sheen. Also, Angus gets to star with former Spotlight king Jon Cryer. But all of that is meaningless. It doesn’t matter what you think of Angus T. Jones or his show. He is filthy stinking rich. He is like rolling in money instead of filth rich. This guy makes $250,000.00 an episode for “Two and a Half Men.” For a teen actor, this is a huge accomplishment. The only bigger accomplishment would be if Charlie Sheen stayed out jail and the whorehouse. Eep. QATFYG: What would you have to do to make $250,000?

OSKARZ 2011

WHERE THE FUCK IS MILA'S NOMINATION I'M NOT SEEING IT ANYWHERE AND THIS IS MAKING ME ANGRY are James Franco and Anne Hathaway (aka the new Catwoman, I don't know how to feel about that, Christie let me see you in a leather outfit some time then we'll talk) going to suck as hosts? is it going to make you feel as awkward as watching Ricky Gervais? because that was like a car skidding off the side of the highway and you are like "oh stop car please!" but then BOOM so let's just do this: major categories BEST PICTURES The Fighter Inception The Kids Are All Right The King's Speech 127 Hours The Social Network Toy Story 3 True Grit Winter's Bone The Social Network what will probably win: The Social Network because Facebook obviously owns the world. but I could see the King's Speech or Inception making a go for it. props to Toy Story 3 and what is Winter Bone? I'm glad neither Kathie Lee Gifford or Hoda Kotb know either. I feel comforted. BEST

While Lil Wayne is on probation,

- He can't drink; - He can't associate with known criminals, For three years. According to a recent Rolling Stone Magazine feature. I'd be like, leave me the fuck in jail. He's also upset that his popularity has fallen off since he hasn't been able to put anything new out, that rappers like Eminem, producers who want to rap, like Kayne, and his own Cash Money proteges have soaked up the spotlight in his absence. I added the part about Kanye. The other supposition is Rolling Stone's. So Wayne is gunning to get Carter IV out soon. I just spun Carter III the other day and it wasn't holdin' up for me. His rap rock album was destined to suck. I Am Not a Human being was critically shit on. Because of that, I never even listened to it. Maybe I'm Wayned out. Maybe the game has changed. We'll see when IV comes out. Da Drought III is still unstoppable. We'll see if sober Wayne can top it. I don't know who he's going to get to do

"The World Is Yours"- Glasvegas

HIS ACCENT. OH DEAR GOD. THE SONG IS BURIED SOMEWHERE IN IT. "ehhhh I'm from Scotland boomdaboomda...." it reminds me of like a James Bond song, though. which I think is cool! B (underrated band!) p.s. CONGRATS STILLERS AND MEAT-PACKERS SEE YOU AT THE BIG FOOTBALL

What's good, Vado?

So I was sitting here, wallowing in the wake of my recent wave of self-induced Piltdown cretinism on this site, in fear that Brittany would finally lower the ax on me if I didn't write something in real, smart-person language, and a thought occurred to me. I haven't talked to ya'll about Vado yet. See, after Cam'ron had his falling out with The Diplomats (a.k.a. Dipset), most notably with co-founder Jim "We Fly High / No Lie / You Notice" Jones, he teamed up with Vado to start The U.N. Get it? Instead of Diplomats, they're the U.N. Well, the Diplomats have since mended things, as semantic justice would dictate, and both Cam and Vado are allegedly cool with them. The détente (double word score) has settled my tensions, and I've given Vado's debut mixtape, Slime Flu , a listen. "Wake Up" in particular stuck out to me as a track that's very honest and devoid of hip-hop posturing, hearkening back to a time when Illmatic mattered, when

retired at 35: what a dream!

Ursula, guest writer who is awesome: This past Wednesday I watched Hot in Cleveland —because I figured I’d give it another shot since Brittany likes it and my entertainment preferences are embarrassingly malleable—and since Retired at 35 came on right after, I decided to leave the TV on and see what it was like. That did not turn out to be a hugely bad or hugely good decision, although I did turn it off after 20 minutes, which probably tells you something. Okay. So basically, the idea is that David (Johnathan McClain) goes to visit his parents in their Florida retirement home, and while there he quits his job at a New York firm. OVER THE PHONE, BECAUSE HIS BOSS KEEPS HASSLING HIM. CRAZY. The rest, I would guess (because again, I didn ’t see the end of the half-hour show) leads to David being retired…at 35. I presume that means that he’ll be provided for by his parents for the duration of the show, while hanging out with his old high school buddy and getting over his cheaty ex-girl

~ THE HAPPIEST PLACES ON ERF ~

So one of those studies where they analyze the most exuberant countries in the world was just undertaken again. I was not surprised by the results, although I would have liked to see Sweden on the list. 5.) NEW ZEALAND why: because it is nicknamed "the World's Youngest Country" it is pretty it is right next to Australia there are a lot of slutty ladies there. 4.) AUSTRALIA why: because all those spawn of British rejects are really quite pleased with themselves! it is kind of warm nobody lives in the middle! it IS Australia "I'm moving to Australia!"- Alexander they have great electronic music (i.e. Cut Copy and the Presets) they are attractive and also tan. WHY ELSE, SIMON 3.) FINLAND why: because Finland is awesome? because they are near Sweden. I love you Finland, you are our 4th or 5th largest group of readers. they have Moomin their government doesn't suck FORBES WAS TALKING SHIT ON YOU FINLAND they make good design IDK what e

how it feels outside right about now.

first of all, I saw School of Seven Bells last night in a revamped church and it was THE MOST BONE-CHILLING COLD CONCERT OF MY LIFE. good god! they were great ("I L U" was the highlight for me; considering one of the sisters is gone it was a terrific show!) despite the endless supply of openers. I will say the Show weren't bad, but. the others I cannot speak of. it was 6 degrees Fahrenheit btw . WEAR A BIG OLD COAT

CNN is obsessed with Beer.

So I was watching CNN last night, and I do not normally watch CNN, it is just one of the few channels in my country that speaks English. But I noticed that all they were talking about was beer. Every single program they had some major tie to beer. They had some world culture shows that practically only showed the inside of the bars and taverns. They are promoting a show next month that will be in some country that has the 3rd largest beer consumption in the world. They will not tell us where it is, and they are using it as a mystery. And of course Ricky Gervais was on Piers Morgan Tonight, and that was 43 straight minutes of beer drinking. Oh Oh, that Ricky. Ricky G was extremely entertaining, and I doubt he would have been as good without the pint, but.......... QATFYG : Do like watching beer?

As we enter the future, let's listen to one of Iron Maiden's good songs

Edgar Allen Poe (is not just the depressed fifteen year old goth girl's soulmate).

....that's Robert Smith. I KID I KID. no seriously, every depressed kid I knew that was into books and/or poetry went through a Poe phase. and who was right there besides them? me, and the ghost of Poe. quoth the raven. (that poem was actually written in Pennsylvania. there's some inn or something in central Pennsylvania that uses that as their "claim to fame," despite the fact that Baltimore is all like POE IS OUR SON LET'S NAME THE FOOTBALL TEAM FOR A POEM and why aren't more football teams named for poems! thanks Wenli for that bit of knowledge). nevermore, nevermore. I prefer to think of Poe as the father of the modern detective novel. Think the Murders in the Rue Morgue. Though I didn't particularly care for that, or say the Telltale Heart or the Pit and the Pendulum (although the Vincent Price movie based on it? very nice very nice!) or okay I AM NOT A POE FAN. but he turned 202 yesterday (Poe, I'm sorry you weren't alive to celebrate this

last night in sitcoms

Hot in Cleveland made its long awaited comeback last night. OF COURSE I watched. I was glued to my TV like that kid in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory . my thoughts? despite a great cameo from Mary Tyler Moore and support from NEWMANNNN (hallo NEWMAN), this was kind of a dismal opener. I mean, it wasn't bad; it was simply entertaining- but it didn't leave me with the sort of feeling I want when I finish a show. sigh. I think this season will be all right, but second seasons can make or break a series. see: Pushing Daisies. the real reason I started watching this show was JANE LEEVES , of Daphne- Frasier fame. and speaking of, when I am in Seattle next week I am going on a FRASIER- tour. meaning: I AM GOING TO CAFE NERVOSA AND HAVING A CAPPUCCINO OR SOMETHING WITH A WISP OF CINNAMON you know what I mean? also: David, you better be there! for a success in comedy though, check out Modern Famil y which never disappoints. this episode involved the kids walking in on the parent

Sports Stuff and Axis of Evil Gossip

So I know that there have not been many sports posts on the Useless Critic, but the Asia Cup is going on now in Qatar, and it is rather enthralling. QATFYG: But I want to know, does it make me a bad American if I have been supporting North Korea the whole time? It is not because I favor any of their policies. It is just that I think it would be nice if the North Koreans had something to smile about instead of images like BELOW. So is there any chance they will win? NO, and their players will endure another six hours of public shaming. But North Korea, you have my support. It is too bad they lost to Iraq though. Sad Face. Why does everything from North Korea have to be so darn negative?

katy perry's summer tour is mind-blowing

Katy Perry (slut!) + Robyn (goddess) + Marina and the Diamonds (EHHHHH) = United States summer tour. I love this time of year because it gives me incentive to look forward to the summer. also, wtf is up with the world today? be nice, you bunch of jerks. (so far there are no dates I can find)

Spotlight/Shoutout: Alyssa Milano

Tis a big one. So this week goes to none other than Alyssa Milano. I will start this post in a way that I don’t think I have ever started another post by saying: I wish I had a photo of her eating very large strawberries. That was not meant to sound as weird as it does. Alyssa Milano has been an actress that has crossed over many squares in the chessboard that is the Sunset Strip. She has a look that is captivating, and she also a screen presence that makes many other emotions rise to the occasion. For example, she probably had one of the best cameos ever on the show Family Guy. She has been on the scene since 1984, and we are not talking just "Who is the Boss?" Alyssa has divulged some prime classics like "Poison Ivy II." = That is a fun movie to watch if you are hyped on caffeine. And yes of course, on “Charmed” she was the ho. I only say that because they did the seven deadly sins episode, and of course Alyssa Milano ended up with the sin of Lust! I hate to get t

The lineup was announced as soon as I landed back home from a Russell Brand show...weird!

Too bad my dream (our dream) of Blur finally playing Coachella isn't coming true. Too bad the rumors about Joan As Police Woman and the cast of It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia are not true. I do (we do) know this, though: I'm definitely going to Coachella, and...maybe Crystal Cast lest will be there.

IS THIS KESHA IN A BIKINI?

I DONT KNOW MAYBE IT'S A THIRD WORLD TUXEDO

Congrats to Chris Colfer

So I was reading the list of winners for the globes, and I was just like YES, when I saw that Chris Colfer scored the win for "Glee." He really deserved this. Respect QATFYG: Who would you like to show some respect to? AWM has already given some to Jim Parsons. Scott Caan – Hawaii Five-O -------------------------------Chris Colfer – Glee (FOX) Chris Noth – The Good Wife (CBS) Eric Stonestreet – Modern Family (ABC) David Strathairn – Temple Grandin (HBO)

brittany kemp's life story explained via albums/open letter to fiona apple

let me be honest with you: some of these albums really didn't mean a lot to me and some did. as I expressed earlier, it's a shame I wasn't born in 1911, an absolute shame, in this perspective. 1988 - Viva Hate - Morrissey I really do not care for him anymore but there was a time in high school when I was suckled onto this album. I'd get it out from the Millcreek library, scratched and all, and listen to it while I did my homework. taught me the use of the word "maudlin." why does Urban Outfitters always email me? I'm more of a Stephin Merritt girl these days; my sadness is more American. 1989- Full Moon Fever - Tom Petty my dad and my mom. I was listening to this and learning to walk at this point in time. a lot of good albums came out this year! it was hard to choose! 1990- I Do Not Want What I Haven't Got - Sinead O'Connor because this isn't true "Nothing Compares 2 U" has this penchant for popping up at weird mo