The Useless Critic 2.0

I haven't written a blog post on movies in probably a decade-ish, but since 2020 I've actively taken it upon myself (lol) to watch more films. The site Letterboxd has been an incredible help with that! I am by no means a huge film buff or cinephile - I like movies way more than TV series (the messy but also gay recent season of "Emily in Paris" aside) so I tend to watch them more than anything else. With all that being said, I watched 40+ films this year, which also proves I don't have much of a personal life. In no particular order, here are my favorites. And to get this out of the way, the worst films I watched were "Disenchanted" (disappointingly) and "The Poughkeepsie Tapes." NOTE: I still haven't watched a lot of films I've wanted to, like "Babylon," but I doubt I'll be able to get to them before the year ends. Womp womp.  NOTE NOTE: I am sure better lists exist! NOTE NOTE NOTE: Not all of these films came out in 2022...

I'm impressed by the fact Keira Knightley - gorgeous, gracefully aloof, talented - can sing! Yesterday, while working, I listened to the "Begin Again" soundtrack. As expected, it's catchy and well-done. That's not a huge surprise, though, since the team behind "Begin Again" is the team behind 2007's beloved "Once" (and Glen Hansard is partially responsible for songwriting duties.)   And from what I've read of "Begin Again," it's essentially a repurposed "Once" set across the Atlantic. With Adam Levine (bleh.) So, that aside, the film is getting decent reviews and I'll probably see it at some point. However, Keira Knightley has been getting some glowing feedback for her vocal chops in the movie.   This was the biggest prompt in me seeking the soundtrack out on Spotify. Even Adam Levine - bleh , again - has some shining moments. I die. At first, Keira's voice takes some getting used to...

I saw "Upstream Color" this previous weekend without a real inkling about the plot, minus a review I breezed through. If you haven't heard about this movie, guess what? You will soon. Here's the trailer: It stays with - you, no matter what your initial opinion was.

ROSEBUD! Perhaps you heard not too long ago that "Vertigo" was named the best film of all time by British magazine Sight & Sound. This is in strict opposition to the commonly accepted idea that "Citizen Kane" is, in fact, the owner of this title. So somewhere, Orson Welles is quaking in his big grave. This begs the question- well, is "Vertigo" the best movie in history? If you asked me, and no one did for good reason, I would have said "Casablanca," which is truly an epic, historically-rich romance. Ingrid Bergman and Nazis:  WHAT gets better than that. This side of Easy Mac- UM NOTHING. So "Vertigo." I recently rewatched it because I didn't have anything better to do one Sunday night. neither did he. Have you seen the movie? It's certainly a film that deserves repeated viewings. It's kind of hard to accurately describe...it's trippy.  The premise boils down to a fear of heights- hence the title. ...

The Dark Knight Rises hits theaters. just a friendly reminder! xoxoxox

This is one of my favorite books of all time, so I'm torn. Very torn. the one kid does look like Kerouac, though!

This time of year, I love nothing more than watching the movie trailers for all the movies that are a.) either coming out to make the Oscar cut or b.) coming out in 2012.  LET'S LOOK AT THE CURRENT CONTENDERS FOR THINGS THAT CAN KEEP MY INTEREST things that do not qualify: - pop-up books, albeit awesome - the hosts of the View CONTENDAH #1 "I coulda been someone. I coulda been a CONTENDAH." Shut up Marlon Brando yadda yadda OKAY. WE HAVE FIVE SECONDS OF MARION COTILLARD IN HERE. um, the Pittsburgh Steelers and maybe Anne Hathaway won't totally suck as Catwoman? she actually looks hot and scary and slutty. yay! but this doesn't come out until 2012. wah wah wah. damn you, Chris Nolan! I HATE YOU sooner.... have you seen the posters for this? SOME RAD CALLIGRAPHY GOING ON IN HERE. anyway, Meryl can do no wrong. she's probably not mortal.  somewhat weird... ERM...... I recently saw The Descendants  and it was very good....

Alright, I think I'll be giving this movie a shitty review if I officially reviewed it, so a public service announcement: SEE THIS MOVIE. If it's playing in your area. Submarine is a little British indie film directed by one of my favorite (favourite?) people of all time, Richard Ayoade, a half-Nigerian, half-Norwegian comedian and blipster, most famous for playing hilarious characters on The IT Crowd and The Mighty Boosh . He's also directed videos for Vampire Weekend, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, and Arctic Monkeys. Speaking of Arctic Monkeys, their lead singer, Alex Turner, contributed songs to the soundtrack for this film. The film is set in 1986, but Turner's modern indie vocals fall in place perfectly throughout its vintage, twee Welsh setting. Ayoade's been called the next Wes Anderson. It's also his birthday today (well yesterday, since I'm posting this so late and it's almost midnight on the west coast)! Do yourself a favor and watch SUBMARINE.

On Friday I went on a date. My second in as many weeks. With the same girl, mind you. I'm not some amourous date whore wanting notches in my... Calendar? But yeah. We went to this amazing candy store, KFC and to see the new X-Men film. That's a movie, to you Americans. I was quite sceptical about seeing it to be honest. I know my X-Men stuff. In my youth (two years ago) I was a bit of a comic book nerd. Let's face it, they are going to change things, and with good reason. Who can you find that looks like beast should? It sure isn't Nicholas Hoult. But hell, he plays the part excellently, and it's nice to see him playing an adult character, rather than a troubled child or drug-addled teen (as he was in the only other things I've seen him in.) All that said, it is a surprisingly nice representation of the franchise. All the acting is top notch. Michael Fassbender plays a great Magneto, pulling off the dark and mysterious is he good/is he bad thing perfectly, s...

my friend William did this...check it out, give him some support. it's pretty interesting (and short!) also, it is in Swedish. ENJOY

So I did a bad thing and didn't read this Nanowrimo-derived (RIGHT?) book before I went to go see it. oops! well, I have a lot of bad Nanowrimo experiences under my belt, so maybe that would have tainted the surprisingly good film for me. I can tell you that Water For Elephants is not an amazing film and will not be by any means a classic film. But it's a good film. It's filmed beautifully, bursting with more color than a gay man's fiesta. There's definitely an old timey feel to it, which is missing from a lot of films anymore. It's mostly set in the 1930s, save to a few flashbacks (I guess that's what you would call it, eh?) to the present day. And I think this is a film you could just probably watch on mute and gawk at. It's like a gorgeous person that has semi-interesting things to says sometimes. I am the cosmos and that shit. Reese Witherspoon delivers another great job, as always. She's got that kind of wounded circus performer/caged wife a...

Hiroshima, Mon Amour this movie has been on my mind a lot lately, due to the recent events in Japan. when I saw it about a year ago, it easily made an impression on me. easily. it was just so beautiful, in every way thinkable. it follows the story of a French actress and her Japanese architect lover, having a conversation together as they lie in bed. the majority of the film is told in flashbacks of their lives in WWII (the film was made in 1959, so there's a ten year gap there). he was directly affected by the dropping of the atom bomb in Hiroshima; she was ostracized due to her involvement with a German soldier. the reason I was propelled to see it was the song "Burning Hearts" by My Favorite- "I was an architect, she was an actress, I drew the Eiffel Tower upon her dress." (really good song too, by the way! RIP My Favorite). luckily, you can find the movie online. here's a portion of it: I HOPE YOU LIKE READING FILMS it's given credit (so I am led to ...

Good morning and Good Evening. It is Wednesday, and the champion of the s/s is Ben Foster. Why? Because he beat up a lot of people in "Alpha Dog." QATFYG: Who is your favorite ass kicking drugged up badass? And has anyone else seen “11:14?” ****It is not so bad, but it is just filled with bizarre scenes that are not bizarre in a good way. It is gratuitously bizarre if you catch my drift.

WHERE THE FUCK IS MILA'S NOMINATION I'M NOT SEEING IT ANYWHERE AND THIS IS MAKING ME ANGRY are James Franco and Anne Hathaway (aka the new Catwoman, I don't know how to feel about that, Christie let me see you in a leather outfit some time then we'll talk) going to suck as hosts? is it going to make you feel as awkward as watching Ricky Gervais? because that was like a car skidding off the side of the highway and you are like "oh stop car please!" but then BOOM so let's just do this: major categories BEST PICTURES The Fighter Inception The Kids Are All Right The King's Speech 127 Hours The Social Network Toy Story 3 True Grit Winter's Bone The Social Network what will probably win: The Social Network because Facebook obviously owns the world. but I could see the King's Speech or Inception making a go for it. props to Toy Story 3 and what is Winter Bone? I'm glad neither Kathie Lee Gifford or Hoda Kotb know either. I feel comforted. BEST...

because this time of year I always end up watching movies I've seen 3000 times. it's comforting I guess. but over the summer I am not as tempted to watch these films as I am in the holiday season. maybe it's the cold? feel free to contribute your own to this list. we should make it GINORMOUS and I'm sure I'm leaving some out anyway. I'm still in a daze because of the snow. somewhere, the angels are doing cocaine. Elf I watch this because of Zooey Deschanel. she stole my heart in this film. and it's so hokey but I have yet to get sick of it and I don't know what that says about me. watch her here ! Love Actually Whilst reading the Taylor Swift-dedicated issue of US Weekly yesterday, Wenli and I discovered the three of us all love this movie. but who doesn't omg. I don't think I haven't met a girl who hasn't aped over this film at some point and help me baby Jesus but I will watch it every time it comes on. The Family Stone I feel like this...

So this was a really big deal over the winter. random Swedish girl: this is the best movie ever me: omg okay you are Scandinavian so obviously whatever you say I will take in as fact random Swedish girl: okay random Swedish girl: I saw this THREE times in the theater me: I just watched the trailer and it looks like it's about ugly amphibians and I don't think I want to watch a movie about ugly amphibians. random Swedish girl: *stops talking to me* I am pretty fucking sure I have no idea what is going on. omg is Tommy Lee Jones in this or am I hallucinating? JESUS, IS THAT YOU

BLACK SWAN: - Natalie Portman - Mila Kunis - two above making out - WINONA RYDER IS IN IT - Barbara Hershey?!?!?!?! - WINONA RYDER IS IN A MOVIE LIKE, A REAL MOVIE BURLESQUE - CHER - FUCKING CHER - what do you think she sleeps in? the fat of baby virgins? - Christina - "hey, I'm just nothing....OH LET ME SING BENERNERELRLEKRE!" "Whoa, what?" - Flashdance but with Cher - seriously where the hell has Cher been hiding!

Hey! This film, Marta (see here ) needs your help to get its feet off the ground. I saw there was a blurb about it in the Erie Times News Thursday, but I stress "blurb." Oh ETN: you never fail to disappoint. Rachel is a cool girl and this looks like a really awesome project (me and my adjectives people on the Real World sound smarter). I mean- it is about a Romanian immigrant that doubles as a dominatrix, after all. !!! filming is scheduled to start in February of 2011. So they need approximately 3000 dollars to start and are at 873. And ALSO this needs to happen by November 11th. urgency! if you checked out above website like I told you to, you can see the incentives for pledging... I kind of want a letter written in Romanian. but you can do as little as a dollar, which I think is worth it. plus you get your name in the credits! Please help if you can!!!! It's a worthwhile project. and you're helping some up-and-coming young artists, so. for more information, go to h...

Some big films have come out this weekend: The Social Network Let Me In Some Film in Which Renee Zellweger Is Terrorized do you plan on seeing any of these? TSN is getting rave reviews, remarkably. I don't know why I'm surprised- David Fincher is a fine director, one of my favorites ("what's in the boxxxxxxxx !") but I just thought it was TOO SOON (and kind of trite) for a Facebook movie. I guess it makes sense- it really did shake things up. and Mark Zuckerberg , what a guy. I can't stand Jesse Eisenberg . if I want to watch Michael Cera , I will go find Michael Cera . all in all though, it looks to be interesting. are you going to see it? Let Me In is a remake of the Swedish ( hai ) film Let the Right One In which didn't come out that long ago. there's American cinema for you. I like the title; that's the extent of it. I'm biased on the Swedish issue, as you probably well know. Renee Zellweger is in a horror movie. love you, Renee! ... a...

QATFYG: So I am just curious what people think, What are the saddest movies of all time? Let me know, so I can avoid them. I prefer smiles :) This is the official list from Yahoo answers. The Notebook A Walk To Remember Life is Beautiful Ghost What Dreams May Come Romeo + Juliet Schindler's List The Green Mile Fried Green Tomatoes Steel Magnolias Boys Don't Cry The Color Purple Hotel Rwanda I cannot believe that these are the saddest movies of all time. Of course Schindler's List has to be on there, but is there a tear jerker out there that is not on this list?