The Useless Critic 2.0

If there's anything people take away from my piss-poor legacy, I hope it's what a huge, unabashed fan of "Emily in Paris" I am and will continue to be. People love "90 Day Fiancee," "The Bachelor," and other garbage - allow me "Emily," which is at least harmless, kind of goofy fluff (which does, unfortunately, lean into some stereotypes, as the country of Ukraine knows ). I have already watched Season 2 twice. And honestly my favorite part of this show (despite my crush on Camille Razart and Lily Collins channeling Audrey Hepburn hardcore ) is Ashley Park. This woman has superstar written all over her. She's a bona fide Broadway star, and "Emily in Paris" has served as her pivot into the zeitgeist.  "Emily in Paris" is also showcasing her vocal prowess front and center this season, with her covering BTS, "All By Myself," "Sympathtique," and Marilyn Monroe. But the real standout performance is th...

While I rot in Detroit for another day, I decided to finally write something I've been putting off for ages. you know how the History Channel had to pull the Kennedys' series because the family had an actual qualm about it? despite the fact the series had some really good actors in it (Katie Holmes is give or take here) and they put a lot of money into production? WELL we may never know what the History Channel had in mind for America's version of the royal family, but I'd like to think I could imagine a few worthy scenes from the series. also, I did know research. what I wrote about is what I know about. ENJOY SCENE 1 JFK: ASK NOT WHAT YOUR CUNT-TRY CAN DO FOR YOU, BUT WHAT YOU CAN DO FOR YOUR .... CUNTRY. JACKIE: (privately, to herself) He really seemed to drag out the 'cunt' in that, didn't he? hmm. JFK (later, while they are still outside, arm-in-arm): I didn't say the first syllable too long, did I, Jackie dear? JACKIE (stares at him and then bli...

I haven't been posting much lately because I've been prepping for my LAST SET OF FINALS AS AN UNDERGRADUATE EVER and working on my thesis and probably meaningless shit like that, yeah. so my motivation has been drained. never fear! in the next week, you'll probably be sick of me. fair warning. I remember arriving at Edinboro as a freshman back in 2006 and immediately hating the place. hating, hating, hating. loathing doesn't seem strong enough. I even calculated the days until graduation- a 1000-something odd number I wrote down somewhere (which I obviously kept so safe). "Brittany, stop complaining," some dumb bitch I don't talk to anymore told me. "Enjoy it." Well (this is addressed to you, dumb bitch), I didn't enjoy it until the past year and a half. which in- I fell in with an amazing group of people, absolutely lovely (if not just as bitchy as I am, which is wonderful) who I will really, really miss. which perplexes me. because, in the ...

because I am the most amazing loser in the history of ever, I stayed home last night and spent some quality time with my parents (HAPPY 34TH ANNIVERSARY MOM AND DAD) watching the BEST channel ever, TCM. seriously, every time I remember I get TCM, I pee a little. anywayyyy, I totally called the film, 1953's From Here to Eternity , based on the novel by James Jones. the choice (you know, it's set in Hawaii pre-Pearl Harbor) felt very appropriate for the sudden god-awful heat we're experiencing (I don't know how I'm tying this all together, but follow). classic alert! see this film- it's pretty riveting. and I was impressed with how realistic it seemed, a lot of films from that era strike me as not carrying an air of believability to them, but this was an exception. Frank Sinatra was a skinny bastard. not a fan! I was happy to see Ernest Borgnine pound the life out of him....whom IS STILL ALIVE (hi Ernest!!!) I spent ten minutes debating who played Elma with my mom...