The Useless Critic 2.0

FYI, I only allowed myself to watch the new season premiere of Revenge after finishing this post, which is a big deal considering I was initially unsure about going on with the weekly recaps. So here it is! Get ready 'cause this episode is even funnier than that of last week—and more packed with pop culture references than ever. When Max serves a group of four "quirky" hipster girls, one of the girls say that they need a sec, and then proceeds with her life-changing story: "Then he said to me, 'Dude, your vagina is weird.'" Another girl replies, "Dude, that's insane. It is so not weird. Your vagina's awesome!" Girl #1 turns to Max and says she's ready. "Now I need a sec," Max declares as she walks away. " I can't say it anymore. The vagina's gone mainstream. What's next? A clothing line at Target?" she laments to Caroline, who suggests that they pick a cuter word for it, like cookie. "It sounds...

Ann Romney, the wife of the GOP presidential frontrunner Mitthew Romney, has already been called many new names on the campaign trail. She has earned the titles of everything from Soccer Mom to person next to her husband to now “Fundraising Power house, reaching the voters in a way that her husband can’t” so says the AP. The latest name-calling on Ann Romney has done more than just shedding light on someone who clearly seeks a new job with more desire than Gene Simmons in an 80’s brothel; it has shown us how possible the chance is she might actually serve as first lady, meaning she would have to fill ALL the duties of Michelle Obama. So Ann Romney: Do you think you are up to the challenge of becoming First Lady? To become First Lady, you have to guest star on iCarly, eat a bunch of junk food on the FoodNetwork, deal with Michelle Malkin (maybe in bed), and don’t forget that you will have to wear tank tops on “The View”, or else Barbara Walters and her gang will run ...

I came across two spectacular fashion-related items today, and I must say that I am rather jealous. First, Anna Wintour (omgannawintour!) is hosting a dinner at her house - possibly as I write this - to benefit the Democratic National Committee. Regardless of politics, this has to be the best and most expensive party - er, elegant and fashionable gathering - happening tonight. It seems that it costs $30,000 to get inside Anna’s house. I am hoping that my invitation was tragically misplaced. Seriously, Anna, why the cold shoulder? @WWD Also, W is filming some documentary about its September issue. Hasn’t this been done before? Wasn’t it called, oh, I don’t know, “The September Issue”? And did it not feature Vogue and Anna Wintour? Yes, it did. I’m not sure how W is going to make a better documentary out of this than The September Issue . Almost no one cares that Stefano Tonchi is W ’s new editor-in-chief. The general opinion about the mere idea of this documentary seems to be le...

So by now I'm sure you've heard that the International Olympic Committee selected Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, as the location for the 2016 Summer Olympic Games, as well as the 2016 Summer Paralympics. Other finalists included Chicago, Tokyo, and Madrid. Going into the final voting, Chicago and Rio de Janeiro were thought to be the favorites. Chicago was summarily knocked out of the running in the first round. As a native Chicagoan (born, raised, and living here at the present time), I think I can safely speak for the vast majority of us: we're glad we didn't get it. There have been plenty of celebrities, athletes, and Very Important People (ranging from Barack and Michelle Obama to Oprah to Michaels Phelps) who have supported the nomination, but the common opinion has largely been that of ambivalence. The main issue is that of financing. From whence will the money come to pay for the Olympic Village (and stadiums, etc)? In part from private investors--who may not have the f...

before bed- I am going to asleep now, I am old before my time- in the light of recent current events, I feel like concentrating on small things of happiness is a good idea. here you go: 1.) this song (ignore the video) 2.) "Train Song (With Ben Gibbard )"- Feist VASHTI BUNYAN COVER 3.) this news 4.) CARLA BRUNI - MICHELLE OBAMA PHOTO OPS 5.) Wow, I just got the February 2009 issue of Paste ... since when did the CDs go digital? and also I love how Feist is on the cover even though she just has a brief write-up. ha, ha. still though: good music sampler! 6.) Stephen Dunn's poetry: "Welcome" if you believe nothing is always what's left after a while, as I did, If you believe you have this collection of ungiven gifts, as I do (right here behind the silence and the averted eyes) If you believe an afternoon can collapse into strange privacies - how in your backyard, for example, the shyness of flowers can be suddenly overwhelming, and in the distance the cl...