The Useless Critic 2.0

 There's a strong argument for the Quavo-Lana single "Tough" to be crowned the coveted "SONG OF THE SUMMER." Do I think they hold a candle to "Espresso?" Uh no, but for me this is the song of the summer (no hate to Sabrina! It's-a me, Espresso!")  Lana returns to the trap elements she's touched on in the past, and maybe this is the first time I've said trap in that context in the history of this blog. And Quavo goes a little bit country! Some people are complaining he ruins the song on the Lana subreddits but I have no issue with his part, even though I hate autotune 9/10 times.  Here's the visualizer of the song. The actual video is a typical old school Lana video - meaning it's kind of over the top in the best way. She hasn't done something like this in a minute, unless you want to count "Chemtrails Over the Country Club." Now honestly I was hooked on this song from the first snippets I heard back a few months...

Call me jaded or cynical, but I've never got the big fuss over Valentine's Day. Probably because I've never been in a serious, monogamous relationship before, but I don't really care about those either. To me it's just like any other day of the year. I 'm not one to sit at home in my PJs crying, drinking wine, and miming to Celine Dion like Bridget Jones (I do love that movie, though). Instead, I could be having mindless sex with some hottie I just met on Tinder, lighting a doobie, rewatching my precious Gossip Girl DVDs for the millionth time, treating myself to a shopping spree... Really, the possibilities are infinite. Alright, let's get to the point. Valentine's Day reminds me of a Garbage song titled "I Hate Love," off of the band's latest studio release, 2012's Not Your Kind of People , which is excellent – as are their other albums. Despite the song's somewhat upbeat instrumentation, the lyrics are quite dark and...

Just keepin' it classy Ellie Goulding, "Figure 8" 2012 was definitely Ellie's year. I can't get over "Figure 8's" epic, bombastic chorus, I just wish I could inject it directly into my blood. Who knew dubstep could sound this good? Azealia Banks, "Liquorice" Despite her apparent attitude issues , Azealia is one of my favorite new artists this year. Her music is so fresh, I'm loving the throwback to early-'90s house music and R&B that's been going on lately. Of all the great jams she has put out, "Liquorice" is my anthem to sassitude. As some of you must know by now, it was reported a couple of months ago that Azealia and Lady fucking Gaga recorded two tracks for Gaga's upcoming ARTPOP album! Sleigh Bells, "Comeback Kid" This song and Alexis Krauss are the very epitome of badassery. I want her clothes so bad, especially the studded leather jacket. Little Boots, "Every Ni...

Instead of recapping everything in a "best of" list (BECAUSE I ALREADY DID THAT WITH MY SPOTIFY PLAYLIST) here are just some songs you should have heard this year and appreciated. Note the curious absence of "Call Me Maybe." "I'm His Girl"- Friends did this appear on an episode of "Girls?" It should have. "Ritual"- Ellie Goulding It was our own writer Irina who turned me onto this song. It's very sexual, which is not something you would expect from "I Sang At the Royal Wedding" Ellie Goulding. "Florida"- Princeton We interviewed them ages ago. What a refreshing little song this is. "Comeback Kid"- Sleigh Bells Is it weird I find this song inspiring? Also, it's a good song to kick ass to. "Wicked Games"- The Weeknd Uh, wow? "Tides"- The Xx This album is amazing. Not much of a difference from their debut, but. Who cares? Their debut was g...

Song of the Day Hands down, my favorite song of 2012. I  debated about this a lot but I can't get enough of this song. Say what you will, but I personally can't get enough of this song. "HELLO? HELLO?" I want to make a video to it of her in a mansion in a mink coat looking like she always does. Seriously, call me up Lana! :D

Last year, it was May 2011. Before that, it was Y2K. Then, someone had once told me it was 1996. I kid you not: I hid under my stairs for an hour waiting for it. BOOM! This year, I don't even care. If the world ends, whatever. I think I would have been more concerned if this year hadn't been so full of hate and violence. From the tragic-beyond-words shooting in Newtown last week to the near-assassination of a little girl activist in Pakistan, I've become numb to these vague and somewhat cheesy concepts. I'm sure I'm not alone. I've been personally hoping we'd experience some kind of spiritual awakening today, but thus far, my interactions with people haven't proved this.  I hope you haven't bought into this hype. There will always be such scares. Humans have a need for mass hysteria. We always have. I wish we could somehow take the energy directed toward such things and use it to solve the (likely) preventable problems among ourselves. ...

Sometimes I sincerely wonder why I stopped raving about Lana Del Rey to people, but I realize it's because I gave her my CD (yes) to my mom. So, because I lost access to it, I've just been...meh.  But, this week I realized Lana was cashing in on her fame- which has been rather longstanding, wouldn't you agree?- to release a new edition of "Born to Die" called (get this) THE PARADISE EDITION. oh my god, be still my heart.  Was it necessary? Um, it was at right as rain, whatever that means. I hate rain.  "Cola" is ridiculous, however. She's singing about how her p tastes like Pepsi, which is something I didn't need to know, thanks. But "Ride" is epic Americana Lana, which is how I like her. Although, let's be honest:   hipster girls. Please, no more Native American headdresses. It's just offensive. And if Gwen can get called out, so can you. You too, Oh Land! How about the other songs? My European friends tell me...

Cider Sky are an up-and-coming pop duo that makes beautiful music- so beautiful it's almost fragile. It's transcendent music, really. I was hooked from my first listen and because I like to force my opinion on others, you should be too! They didn't earn a spot on the "Twilight" soundtrack for nothing.  The band formed as a result of kismet; they are a British-Canadian hybrid. They are Simon Wilcox and Shridhar Solanki.  So I asked this band a few questions on behalf of the Useless Critic, and also YOU- I'm sincerely grateful I discovered these guys.  UC:   I read that 2011 was your "best year yet." How has 2012 shaped up for you? Cider Sky:  2012 has been stellar. We played a live show at the London Olympics, and our songs were used in the season premiere promo for "Grey's Anatomy" as well as episodes of "Switched at Birth" and "Breaking Pointe." Our songs also made the playlists at stores around t...

WHAT? THEY SPOILED IT FOR YOU, TOO. I have wanted to see "Rust and Bone" since every film critic in the universe spoiled it for me back in July.  Now, it's finally getting a wide U.S. release, as of Nov. 16. I plan on seeing it almost immediately, because I don't care too much about James Bond anymore (although everyone is saying "Skyfall" is great?) The thing that sucks is what I touched on earlier- the film's definitive moment- involving an orca and Katy Perry's "Firework" has been basically out in the open since the beginning. So how can one see this movie and be surprised? I don't know, but both Marion (sigh) and  Matthias Schoenaerts  are getting rave reviews for their performances. Marion will likely get a second Oscar and I will fall more in love. I'll try to drag Liz to see this, so perhaps we can start our review series again, but I doubt that will work.  Question:  Does it bother you when people spoil movies for ...

Song of the Day It's been described as Lykke Li meets Santigold, which is true. It's also been described as (on last.fm) as a song they play at H&M, which is equally true.

Song of the Day A nice garage rock sound for early in the morning! Download it here for free. Plus, their album will be dropping soon. When that happens, I will post about it. Never fear. 

To give perspective about when the last No Doubt album was released, I was in middle school and eagerly awaiting to see them on TRL. I got "Rock Steady" and wasn't allowed near it until Christmas, because the album dropped in December. When I did get my grubby paws on it, I remember feeling like I didn't quite love it, but I enjoyed it enough. I mean "Waiting Room" may have featured Prince, and Prince is awesome in his own, but perhaps Prince and No Doubt shouldn't mix. Don't speak, I know what you're thinking. "RS" divided No Doubt fans because it featured such a dynamic change. You either loved it or hated it- the sudden transition to dancehall and more pop sounds, etc. But, at the end of the day, it was the band doing what they loved and even earned a place on Rolling Stone's "500 Best Albums of All Time." So the band was doing something right! Now things are different. I'm out of school and working, a...

A new song from Phoenix's Yellow Minute comes our way!  Gods in the Mud by yellow minute I don't know much about the music scene here yet (hahaha) but I think these guys show promise. So check them out and if you're in the area, they're doing a free show in Tempe come Oct 3rd (aka "Gwen Stefani's Birthday.") 

Song of the Day Jenny please:  let's never become like that.

Song of the Day I love this. So much. P.S. Remember when we interviewed them? Yeah Phil Collins!