The Useless Critic 2.0

Just keepin' it classy Ellie Goulding, "Figure 8" 2012 was definitely Ellie's year. I can't get over "Figure 8's" epic, bombastic chorus, I just wish I could inject it directly into my blood. Who knew dubstep could sound this good? Azealia Banks, "Liquorice" Despite her apparent attitude issues , Azealia is one of my favorite new artists this year. Her music is so fresh, I'm loving the throwback to early-'90s house music and R&B that's been going on lately. Of all the great jams she has put out, "Liquorice" is my anthem to sassitude. As some of you must know by now, it was reported a couple of months ago that Azealia and Lady fucking Gaga recorded two tracks for Gaga's upcoming ARTPOP album! Sleigh Bells, "Comeback Kid" This song and Alexis Krauss are the very epitome of badassery. I want her clothes so bad, especially the studded leather jacket. Little Boots, "Every Ni...

Just so you know, Marina and the Diamonds' semi-NSFW new video, "How to Be a Heartbreaker," premiered last Friday (September 28). The video was supposed to have come out four days earlier, but according to Marina herself , some asshole someone at her record label wouldn't let her release it because she looks "ugly" in it. Wow. I mean, really? Shouldn't all Bruno Mars videos be banned then? (I say that because he is Marina's labelmate. And because he's fugly.) Rants aside, the song appears on the US edition of her number-one album Electra Heart . It's not my favorite song from the album, but I do like (and relate to) the lyrics very much. As for the video itself, well... (I swear it's not a link to Redtube or anything like that .) The following GIF sums up my reaction pretty well:

Little Boots is set to make a comeback, and now Marina and the Diamonds releases her second album . Feels like 2009 all over again! That was s uch a great year. Okay, while a time machine is kinda outside the realms of possibility, for now let's just focus on how awesome Marina is. I suppose most of you are familiar with Marina and the Diamonds, right? The husky-voiced Welsh songstress who hailed from the same crop of late-'00s quirky female artists that also included the likes of Lady Gaga, Little Boots, La Roux, Florence + the Machine and Ellie Goulding. With a distinctive voice that often draws comparisons to Kate Bush, Marina released her debut album The Family Jewels in early 2010, a fantastic album that offered commentary on themes such as feminism, modern society, obsession w ith fame , fear of failure, commercialism and relationships, often with a sarcastic, witty t one . Electra Heart abandons the New Wave-kissed indie pop stylings of its predecessor and...

Katy Perry (slut!) + Robyn (goddess) + Marina and the Diamonds (EHHHHH) = United States summer tour. I love this time of year because it gives me incentive to look forward to the summer. also, wtf is up with the world today? be nice, you bunch of jerks. (so far there are no dates I can find)

I have to admit, I'm not a huge fan of Marina and the Diamonds' single "Hollywood." It's a little trite, a little more trashy than I'd grown to expect from Marina. ("Obsessions" was one of the best songs of 2009. Or 2008? Whatever.) However... Marina just released a new orchestral version of it on Youtube. It's absolutely AMAZING. I'm basically blown away. The bitch is back! Click here to hear the original.

Marina and the Diamonds' music video for her new single "Mowgli's Road" was released the other day. Watch it above. I love the song and really don't like the video. I think Marina is ridiculously beautiful, but that video is just repetitive and, well, kinda disturbing. I'd be okay with the stretching thing if it were only part of the video, but it isn't. It's the whole thing. The video really lets the song down. What do you think would be a good video treatment for "Mowgli's Road"? (My opinion: Marina, or a young boy, running through a forest and encountering animals you'd typically see in a zoo - such as a tiger, a lion, or a bear. Maybe the animals would be the ones stretching instead of Marina.)