The Useless Critic 2.0

Damn, another year is coming to an end. I know I've been MIA for quite some time, but this has been quite a busy year for me, especially in the second half. Still, I obviously wouldn't miss the chance to share my annual list of my personal favorite songs of the year (in no particular order), which has pretty much become a tradition since 2012 . BANKS, "Gemini Feed" Two years after blessing us mortals with her masterpiece of a debut album, Goddess , my girl Jillian Banks is back with The Altar , otherwise known as the album that saved 2016. The brooding "Gemini Feed" features the LA chanteuse's signature biting lyrics as she dissects a relationship with an emotionally manipulative ex. "I tried a thousand times / I tried to say 'I love you,' but you didn't hear me / And you're passive-aggressive / Convinced me other people, they don't care about me," BANKS purrs over eerie synths and a hypnotic backbeat. Jillian, stop...

Okay, I was so going to post about this yesterday, but then it just totally slipped my mind. I should really lay off the weed... Anyway , yesterday the awesome Brooklyn duo Sleigh Bells shared a new song titled "Champions of Unrestricted Beauty"—one month after making headlines for accusing Demi Lovato and her team of sampling not one , but two tracks from their debut album Treats without permission. According to a Facebook post , the follow-up to their latest album, 2013's Bitter Rivals , is almost done. The song ditches the guitars that previously populated the duo's abrasive, deliciously distorted noise-pop offerings in favor of a sound that is decidedly slicker and more synth-driven. Alexis Krauss' powerful vocals are on point, but I do hope their next album is not completely guitar-less, I mean, what the hell would I be without Sleigh Bells' angsty, don't-fuck-with-me anthems?? I always feel like a bad bitch whenever I listen to " Crown o...

Song of the Day I was discussing Sleigh Bells at work, and no one knew who they were, so I had to explain them. "It's a girl screaming over a guitar..." This is my anger music. But nonetheless, it's pretty invigorating. I used to have pants like her. I miss them, no clue what became of them. BE NOT AFRAID

Just keepin' it classy Ellie Goulding, "Figure 8" 2012 was definitely Ellie's year. I can't get over "Figure 8's" epic, bombastic chorus, I just wish I could inject it directly into my blood. Who knew dubstep could sound this good? Azealia Banks, "Liquorice" Despite her apparent attitude issues , Azealia is one of my favorite new artists this year. Her music is so fresh, I'm loving the throwback to early-'90s house music and R&B that's been going on lately. Of all the great jams she has put out, "Liquorice" is my anthem to sassitude. As some of you must know by now, it was reported a couple of months ago that Azealia and Lady fucking Gaga recorded two tracks for Gaga's upcoming ARTPOP album! Sleigh Bells, "Comeback Kid" This song and Alexis Krauss are the very epitome of badassery. I want her clothes so bad, especially the studded leather jacket. Little Boots, "Every Ni...

Instead of recapping everything in a "best of" list (BECAUSE I ALREADY DID THAT WITH MY SPOTIFY PLAYLIST) here are just some songs you should have heard this year and appreciated. Note the curious absence of "Call Me Maybe." "I'm His Girl"- Friends did this appear on an episode of "Girls?" It should have. "Ritual"- Ellie Goulding It was our own writer Irina who turned me onto this song. It's very sexual, which is not something you would expect from "I Sang At the Royal Wedding" Ellie Goulding. "Florida"- Princeton We interviewed them ages ago. What a refreshing little song this is. "Comeback Kid"- Sleigh Bells Is it weird I find this song inspiring? Also, it's a good song to kick ass to. "Wicked Games"- The Weeknd Uh, wow? "Tides"- The Xx This album is amazing. Not much of a difference from their debut, but. Who cares? Their debut was g...

You can find a better version of this song here . Sleigh Bells are touring North America. I am falling in love with them again. TELL 'EM  

our favorite weird screaming violent hipsters seem to be touring Florida. And just Florida, before heading to Europe.  Why? Maybe they like old people and alligators? ...

It was kind of disappointing how the Grog Shop didn’t play anything by Tiffany or Berlin between sets, especially given all of the mid-80’s Madonna; was kind digging Ace of Base with everyone else, but the first opening act walked onto the stage while insisting they weren’t No Age . Two reasons to hate them, and we had just met! Oh but did you know, about a block and a half away, Harry and the Potters were performing in the alleyway behind the bookstore and every other song they did was the one about Hagrid? Maybe you were too busy standing in line for Sleigh Bells? We got to make heart hands while going “Hagrid!” and some other people made book noises during one of the other songs which were like “swish swish swish,” because books apparently do that when their pages are being turned! This was totally better than the first band—if they were actually No Age, not playing “Ripped Knees” would have been rude, especially because I / hundreds of people kept shouting for it, but their refusa...

Sleigh Bells, as I've said before and will now just say again, have the definitive summer song: "Rill Rill." which used to be, um. "Ring Ring." can you tell the differences? Jerri Blank! - Jack White's pretty model wife, Karen Elson, has released her album, the Ghost Who Walks . and it's surprisingly good. - Finland has a good electronica band, Villa Nah, who have the potential to go big internationally. shout-out to my homies from Finland! I have a few homies there now! woot - Lastly, Swede teen pop star turned adult pop sensation Robyn has new stuff out. I'm not sure what to make of it. It's Robyn; it has to be good. so I'm not worried. she's touring with Kelis in the States. Kelis! MY KONICHIWA BITCHES BRINGS ALL THE BOYS TO THE YARD.... Robyn 'Dancing On My Own' (Official Video) from Robyn on Vimeo . so check these guys out and enjoy the rest of your Monday. I still haven't listened to that World Cup theme by Shakira. b...

all of these bands are coming to the region within the next few months: SLEIGH BELLS LADY GAGA BROKEN SOCIAL SCENE THE NATIONAL RUFUS WAINWRIGHT JUSTIN BIEBER (AHAHAHA) NEON INDIAN SHE & HIM THE FLAMING LIPS INTERPOL THE SWELL SEASON TITUS ANDRONICUS SURFER BLOOD THE PAINS OF BEING PURE AT HEART *explode*

Here is the shortlist: N.E.R.D's new track featuring NELLY FURTADO. ahhhh I miss her. Come on, I still know the lyrics to "Promiscuous." You don't have game like Steve Nash! "Hot and Fun"- if I danced, it would be to stuff like this. Pharrell is a little genius: Nelly Furtado is so gorgeous it hurts. oh my god. I don't know how I never noticed this before. Neon Indian says how I wish high school was: Metric Metric Metric. I am currently seeking a concert partner for Cleveland. I NEED TO SEE EMILY. I NEED TO BATHE IN HER SWEAT. THERE'S JUST NO WORDS OKAY I NEED TO BE THERE WHEN SHE DOES HER COCAINE. May 19th! I have two tickets! You'd have to pay for your ticket and give me a ride, but guess what! I know how to use my hands well! Bear In Heaven is opening! They are one of those "next big thing" bands! Slow Club is really juts too adorable it's sick: Cara, does that boy NOT look like Pete? The feel good hit of the summer: http://www.y...

Arguably the best and most expensive music festival there is, that I will ONE GLORIOUS DAY attend, Coachella, is this weekend in California. Acts playing this year: Beach House, MGMT (who I am so over!), The Cribs (or wait, stupid volcano), Jay-Z, LCD Soundsystem, Them Crooked Vultures, Grizzly Bear, Vampire Weekend, Gorillaz, Thom Yorke, Hockey, Pavement, Muse, Tiesto, Spoon, Hadouken! (I love that name), Mew, Sia, Dirty Projectors....I could go on but it will just make you sad. One year, one year. Maybe next year? We will play it by ear. I have been bad at updating and there are two things I MUST write about in the future. So I will try this weekend. Right now, it's 6 am. be gentle with me plz. I'm looking for a job and I'm graduating in less than a month. Yung Loc is playing Edinboro next Friday. yup. Music news you should be aware of: - She & Him have probably the best album of the year JUST SAYING - Hole put out a new album? - Kate Nash has a new album out too but...