The Useless Critic 2.0

With each day we come closer and closer to another novel from J.K Rowling, a woman that I completely adore. I hope when I say adore, you understand that I don’t mean as a stalker. I mean it as a future lover. (Creepy Scale: 1 to 10…rate me in the comments). It takes one look at the headline from the NY Times headline “Rowling Returns With a New Book, This Time for Adults.” SWEET! Fantasy Writer tackling Adult Novelism! I am ecstatic. Each day brings us closer and closer to the next book, and based on that line, it sounds like it’ll be magical erotica. QATFYG: Would you read magical erotica? Not like Centaurs on Unicorns because those are like animals, but more like Vampires and Fairies (oh wait, sorry Sookie). I mean, more like “demons and wizards.” I mean, more like human beings and sex…dammit I’m out of words. Meh, she writes the shit, not me.

It was surprising that Lykke managed to pull together such a beautiful song for such a crap film. So tell me when you hear my heart stop,  You’re the only who knows  Tell me when you hear my silence There’s a possibility  I wouldn’t know  I just saw Breaking Dawn , which is why I chose this song. And also it's simply one of my favorites by her, because it's very heartfelt, very bleak and very honest. Anyway though, can I tell you how SURPRISINGLY DECENT that film is? like ohmygod IT TAKES THAT SERIES FOREVER to get anywhere but they finally got somewhere! also I didn't see Eclipse , is that wrong? whatever I stopped following Harry Potter ages ago too.  the last Twilight film I saw was New Moon , which this song was showcased in it. And if I remember correctly, there's this great scene where Kristin Stewart has a major breakdown to this song. which is kind of where I am right now, so it speaks to me. she just sits in front of a window, sobs, listens t...

I am currently devouring THE HISTORY OF LOVE by Nicole Krauss. She's married to Jonathan Safran Foer, another amazing modern (most of the writers I like are dead people). I can't recommend to you this book enough. there seems to a lot of Jewish identity literature out there right now, but it's all remarkable. and heartbreaking and beautiful and human etc. things I look for in a novel. funny, too. the movie is coming out in early 2011, so get on that shit, friend. also, Ms. Krauss just put out Great House not too long ago. have you read that yet? what are you reading, anyway? SMUT? their writing styles are similar. so I have this fantasy of these two married writers giving each other feedback and proofreading and etc. I bet they sit in bed after sex and read each other's scenes and are like "DARLING, THIS ADJECTIVE SHOULD GO THERE." ah! Dunkin Donuts opens on November 23rd. Harry Potter comes out soon and Wenli is dragging me to see it (wish you could come, Eu...

Early indicators showed Slytherin House the sure winner, until some last minute trickery by Albus Dumbledore put Potter and pals in the lead. Final results had Ravenclaw finishing third and Hufflepuff steadily continuing the tradition of finishing fourth. It is believed that Dumbledore awarded as many as 60 points to individuals within Gryffindor House for things as trivial as a "well-played game of chess." The last-minute funny business reportedly added an astounding 170 points to Gryffindor's total score, enough to award them the Stanley Cup. Decorative banners bearing Slytherin's colors had already been hung and were immediately withdrawn and replaced, leaving students dumbfounded. Team coach Severus Snape would not offer comment, but prospective seeker Draco Malfoy suggested that a change in league rules may reflect an affirmative action policy to facilitate the recent integration of muggle-borns. "The purity of the game," Malfoy stated, "has ...

Robyn - Body Talk Pt. 2 Robyn (pronounced Roe- BINE ) is Scandinavian pop star with a keen grasp on matters of substance. First and foremost, she is a linguist, fearlessly tackling both the standard American English pop vocabulary and African American Vernacular English slang on the same album, a feat rarely parallelled this side of Hyperborea . Apparently there is a Body Talk Pt. 1 and a forthcoming Body Talk Pt. 3 which will place some of the lyrical content in a larger context. I haven't heard them, but I can only imagine that they are flawless. The beats on this album are pure candy. And I mean like Aqua-level candy. When the vocals on the first song, "In My Eyes," starts, I am in absolute idiotic bliss. The feeling continues throughout. First of all, the album is only eight songs, an immediate draw for me. I hate filler and overlong albums. Each song is about four minutes long, which is perfectly suitable. The main obstacle to appreciating the album is the natural ...

SOMEONE MADE A MUSICAL SATIRE OF HARRY POTTER! It premiered last April at the University of Michigan and has become a popular video on youtube. I hope it amuses all you HP fans out there as much as it amused me. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you--- A Very Potter Musical .

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince is opening at midnight tonight. Who all is going? This film better be good........So Excited.