The Useless Critic 2.0

So, another purely selfish S/S, but aren't they all? It goes to Chow Yun-Fat, but this one has to begin with the QATFYG. QATFYG: Has anyone in this sphere seen "The Corrupter?" I remember back in 1999/2000, I saw this in the video store every week, and I always wanted to see it. But I was too young at the time (tragic age discrimination ) but I always planned on watching "The Corrupter" when I was older. However, over the years I have grown a distaste for Mark Wahlberg. I just don't like him in most things. On some levels he and I get along, but things like "The Italian Job" or "The Happening." PASS!!! I had forgotten about this movie, but I was watching "Wendy Wu: Homecoming Warrior" tonight, and I was reminded of all the Chinese things I like, including Chow Yun-Fat. (Other Chinese things that are awesome: Food, 12 Girls Band, English teacher salaries, Western Muslims and their hats, Ceramics, Mongolian Lineage, Yao, and the W...

This is what the new Scissor Sisters is doing: I was sitting in my room listening to it and, after the fifth song, start thinking how wrong it is for me to be listening to it like this— hanging out with the cat, lamenting the insularly rural town I’m stuck in while eating baker’s chocolate. I really should have been listening to Lisa Loeb, but she’s just too much for me right now; every time I listened to her over the spring, it completely ruined my day. But some of the earlier lines from “Harder You Get” provide a really concise thesis for the new Scissors’ LP— Jake Shears’ growling about being on a first-name basis with the reaper tells us “It isn’t Stephen / It isn’t Adam,” and continues into offering “I got some apples / If you want / Then you can grab ‘em” and this is such a wonderful economy of words! T.S. Eliot? We have no time for you. But the thing about it is this is a really tough song. It’s like the tough one of the LCD Soundsystems was talking about in their interview wi...

thanks for sharing, Matthew! from what I've heard thus far, I have to say, my favorite: "Haters." by far! watch a disturbing music video! http://www.bing.com/videos/watch/video/m-i-a-born-free-video-official-real-and-explicit-version/79a7352799cbdf78d53a79a7352799cbdf78d53a-90574029417?q=m.i.a.%20born%20free%20video&FORM=VIRE1

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sXiRZhDEo8A THIS LOOKS SO GOOD MY GOD READ THE DAMN BOOK ALREADY

So whether it's Ace of Cakes Cake Boss Cupcake Wars, these shows rule. I was very surprised just how much entertaining it is watching people bake. QATFYG: Does anyone else watch cake shows? Also here is a little sample of my own cupcakes that may or may not have accidentally turned out green. PS: Happy Birthday Abby Jensen.

So it has come to my attention (more than just me) that the world needs more Alexis Bledel movies. She needs to be seen more, but Alexis and I have fallen out of the loop. We don't see her popping up as often as she did every week on "Gilmore Girls." QATFYG: Do you want more Alexis? And did you see her in "Post Grad?" I sure as hell didn't. *We need more Alexis in a positive way.*

Sleigh Bells, as I've said before and will now just say again, have the definitive summer song: "Rill Rill." which used to be, um. "Ring Ring." can you tell the differences? Jerri Blank! - Jack White's pretty model wife, Karen Elson, has released her album, the Ghost Who Walks . and it's surprisingly good. - Finland has a good electronica band, Villa Nah, who have the potential to go big internationally. shout-out to my homies from Finland! I have a few homies there now! woot - Lastly, Swede teen pop star turned adult pop sensation Robyn has new stuff out. I'm not sure what to make of it. It's Robyn; it has to be good. so I'm not worried. she's touring with Kelis in the States. Kelis! MY KONICHIWA BITCHES BRINGS ALL THE BOYS TO THE YARD.... Robyn 'Dancing On My Own' (Official Video) from Robyn on Vimeo . so check these guys out and enjoy the rest of your Monday. I still haven't listened to that World Cup theme by Shakira. b...

Kevin is in a good mood. Over the last two days, I've realized that Kevin Jonas is more like me than any other Celebrity out there, with the exception of Emmy Rossum. So Kevin Jonas, knows what it's like to be an outsider and to be different from the rest of the group. Now it's time that I apologize for all the mean things I have said about KJ over the last year and a half. Nader Bouberhan is sorry for: 1. calling you an ugly d* bag. 2. calling your wife a dirty c*nt suck. 3. saying you were untalented in comparison to brother Nick. 4. telling my older sister not to dress up as you for Halloween because it was stupid. (I wonder when Kevin Jonas will realize that we're best friends, but JONAS L.A. premiered tonight, and I think I will watch more. Cheers Kevin, I will lift a glass in your honor, but I won't drink because of that purity stuff. QATFYG: Would you be Kevin Jonas' best friend if he offered you the job (that is if I wasn't already in place).

Airing at 10 pm on Wednesday nights- I think I found my new favorite show, the Sean Hayes-produced Hot in Cleveland . In case you have your head in a rock and missed the massive publicity circuit this week, the show is a traditional half-hour long sitcom that, as billed in the beginning, is taped in front of a "live studio audience." When I heard these words, my heart seriously skipped a beat. We're back to the old school, friends! There's a laugh track! and it's supposed to be real ! sigh. TV nerddom moment, commence. and end. It's like this generation's answer to the Golden Girls- four LAYDEEZ that you don't normally see being catered to on television (but we're on cable! so anything can happen!) are living together and battling...um, life....together. AND BETTY WHITE IS ON IT. BETTY. WEARING TRACKSUITS. All our leading women come from respective comedy TV backgrounds. Valerie Bertinelli of - my god, I don't even know WHAT she did anymore, ju...

this mixing of voices = divine Matt Berninger is easily my mancrush of the moment. the way that man dresses! his voice! his stubble! I like to think after recording this, him and Annie went to a picnic and made out. perfect summer song.

Cattleyas! Odette had a habit of wearing them when first becoming acquainted with Swann, although Proust never mentions anything further about them; this freedom of interpretation is having me feel lost, contextually. Not a single word regarding colour, petals, which particular sub-species that particular evening’s cattelya belongs to which would then inevitably segue into several pages of tangential reverie which could have contained a flourish regarding the orchidaceae family as a whole and how this is directly related to the frescoes painted within a certain chapel, of which he has a certain fondness. Anyway, cattleyas are regarded as the orchids most evocative of love because, as many flower websites are tactfully insinuating and, as I just updated the cattleya wikipedia entry to note, they look like vaginas even though I’m not really “seeing it” despite, to compare and contrast, looking-up those weird diagrams from fifth grade. Maybe this is like one of those photos of a lamp ev...

(Video in Long Form) I propose this as the best commercial currently on TV. QATFYG: If anyone can find a better a commercial on tv or the internet, please post a link or a URL in the comment section.

It's getting very favorable reviews thus far! And that's good! Really good! It better damn well favorable reviews! So are you excited to see this? the plot summary, let's face it, cops from the Brave Little Toaster. Andy grows old; he goes to college. The toys get donated. THE DACHSHUND HAS GRAY FUR WTF ARE THEY TRYING TO DO TO ME! I applaud the creators of the film for actually doing something...err, semi-realistic. you know. because that's life. things get old. people change and move on. It's a sort of nice way to introduce that concept to kids. not like, "Brittany, you can die at anytime. THE HOUSE CAN FALL ON YOU IN YOUR SLEEP." I'm very excited to see this. very excited! I can't wait to feel eight again, you know. I remember all the mean kids loved Buzz Lightyear. I didn't like him, Woody annoyed me. I liked Slinky Dog. RIP JIM VARNEY

This s/s of kickassness goes to none other than Anna Paquin, as I have recently stated on the comments section of this Blog, I've started watching "True Blood" this week. Anna Paquin won the Golden Globe for her role in "True Blood" for her performance as Sookie Stackhouse, and it is awesome. This is a difficult role to play from the accent, to the mannerisms, to the personality, and she does it very well. If you have not seen true blood or X-Men 1, 2, and 3. Go for it. PS: Anna Paquin is Hot! QATFYG: If you want you can check out her Oscar speech for "The Piano!" Wanna see? Globes STuff:

I haven't done this in forever! it feels so good to do it again! so good! anyway, today we have True Blood star and, yes, the girl from the movie about the geese- ANNA PAQUIN. JUST LOOK AT HER she even gives cupcakes to homeless people! how cute! anyway, she might be engaged to her costar Stephen Moyer, but she's bi, which ups her hotness just a bit. just a bit. as my roommate once said, that makes her available to the whole population. never be depressed, bi people! you're luckier than those of us that favor one gender. I can't watch True Blood because I don't have HBO. this makes me sad. did you watch?

- gigantic tampon. - use that asshole Joran Van Der Sloot to clog it. this is totally unreal at this point. ANY THOUGHTS?

Dating Lesson: Prince Mongo's Brother If this guy can host a web show, there is hope for us all...mainly for me. QATFYG: what is your favorite web show?

Even though the title of their career retrospective LP gets a thumbs up despite me being unable to stand looking at its artwork , I’m not really in support of this whole Pavement reunion thing because it’s been reminding me I’m older than I’ve otherwise been deluding myself into believing; the copy of La Nausée on my bookshelf continues to taunt me. Anyway, I just read in some poorly-written, xeroxed fanzine (the internet) that their original drummer is going to be joining them for a single appearance later this month. It’s hard to say if he’ll frighten people with lobsters or be arrested because the concert’s security thinks he’s a crazy homeless dude, making it an authentic 1992-like experience, but this news reminded me of the single from his solo album, Hospital . Oh, hush, you’re welcome!

I do not like this. I would appreciate your thoughts on the matter.

I was beyond excited for this show. waiting in the line with the row of fake Zooeys, I had to stop and close my eyes and adjust myself for a few times to realize I was seeing a girl that I've basically built an altar to in my mind for the past year. ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOEY. I feel like this post should just be photospam, really. who cares what I have to say in the wake of such event! I saw ZOOEY IN THE FLESH! my grandchildren will know about this! what followed was :/. She & Him were good, captivating, energetic- but the audience was limpid. the audience sucked the soul out this show with their pointed little American Apparel-draped teeth. that's a tad bit too dramatic I guess- the audience got a little more bearable as the night went on. but still. I've never had a group of people ruin such an event for me. reallllllly! like, how do you NOT sing along to "Home" or "Ridin' In My Car?" Jesus. People are so weird sometimes! The show was sold out, for ...

Remember when I blogged about the XX a really long time ago and everyone now loves them apparently? yeah that happened. they have cool harmonies that I appreciate and sometimes their sound is nice and chill, but they are also kind of boring and very ugly. anyway, I love their cover of Aaliyah's "Hot Like FIRE," bar none my favorite by them (except "Crystallized.") seriously, Aaliyah covers are just a good way to win me over.

I haven't posted in months and I apologize for my transgressions. I've been busy, I got a life, I moved to the other side of the world, etc etc. Here, let me make it up by posting an epic song: Girls' Generation (SNSD/소녀시대) is one of the biggest acts in Korea today. Made up of 9 girls, the group was formed in 2007 and became popular almost immediately. Since I came to Korea in December, they've had a string of hit singles, including Gee, Oh!, and their newest - and my personal favorite - Run Devil Run. Run Devil Run is being played at all the bars and clubs and you can hear it in all the stores. You hear it daily when you simply walk down the street. It's one of my favorite songs right now, which is why this works perfectly for my comeback post. Questions: What do you think of Girls' Generation? Who's your favorite Girl? (I'm a Yoona fan myself.)

QATFYG: So I am just curious what people think, What are the saddest movies of all time? Let me know, so I can avoid them. I prefer smiles :) This is the official list from Yahoo answers. The Notebook A Walk To Remember Life is Beautiful Ghost What Dreams May Come Romeo + Juliet Schindler's List The Green Mile Fried Green Tomatoes Steel Magnolias Boys Don't Cry The Color Purple Hotel Rwanda I cannot believe that these are the saddest movies of all time. Of course Schindler's List has to be on there, but is there a tear jerker out there that is not on this list?

So Last night I caught the premiere of the new ABC Family summer show, "Pretty Little Liars." On the outside, Lucy Hale (one of the principles) and the show have a very pseudo-plastic look. But this show surprised me with the complexity of its plot. It is sort of like a low budget "Gossip Girl" minus male leads. Lucy Hale is one of the primary characters, who is from a group of teen girls, who lost one of their closest friends to a mysterious disappearance. Now, there are messages from the lost girl showing up in all directions. This show has more surprise and mystery than meets the eye. I thought it was going to be a cheap girly drama, but it really held my interest. QATFYG: Will you check it out? Tuesdays at 8 on ABC Family. PS: This features Piper from "Charmed."

It’s taken 176 pages, though the first glimmerings of the plot have finally shown up! I’m not expecting them to be mentioned elsewhere in this volume, but it’s relieving— it’s so relieving — to know they’re there. I was thumbing through the final volume, Time Regained , in a bookstore last week and happened to find the part where everything comes together for Marcel, because he realizes what it is he’s supposed to write: In Search of Lost Time is about his path to becoming a writer; I’ve never made it past the first half-ish of Guermantes Way , which I abandoned last summer until it occurred to me how I would need to start all over again if I ever hoped to get anywhere with this novel, though it seems these several thousand pages can be summed with wondering: Will he write ? How meta! These words— “And these dreams of [Mme. Guermantes] warned me that since I wanted to be a writer someday, it was time to find out what I meant to write.” — are, as far, perhaps the first with any discern...

First of all, Adam Lambert has been confirmed for scoring an Erie date in August on his latest tour. that's kind of big, considering he's one of the few relatively popular AI stars left. no one cares about Clay Aiken and Ruben Studdard in New York. that is the way the cookie crumbles. Then, on June 25th, Nicole Atkins (along with Joshua James) is doing a free show in Pittsburgh. On July 21st- Free Energy, one of these bands you need to listen to- is doing a free gig in Cleveland. their live show is supposed to be amazingggggg. founded by ex-Hockey members, it has a kind of typical sort of indie sound mixed with classic rock and hippie tendencies. did that make sense? good because I don't give a fuck. FREE ENERGY HOCKEY http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_g-Eok8n0WE off the Eclipse soundtrack....wow. the Beck and Bat For Lashes duet? just listen, just listen, and change your pants afterwards: http://blahblahblahscience.com/uncategorized/in-the-mix-crocodiles-bat-for-lashes-mike-...

So I just caught the first installment of "Persons Unknown," which is a miniseries on NBC Mondays about a bunch of strangers that end up in a hotel/town and don't know why they got there. This might have ties to the movie of the same name, but I don't know. Never saw it. It's 1984 meets LOST meets the 4400. So it's kind of okay, but for some reason as this series continues to pan out, I fear that it will take on a flat tone, which will bore us. The show has characters from all different backgrounds, A soldier, A counselor, who appears to be a mental patient, A mysterious mystery man on mysticicity. And even Alan Ruck (Cam from Ferris Bueler's Day Off (Sp)) And the rest :P There are cameras that are watching these people at all times, and there are people who serve them Chinese food. That is all we know. However, it might turn out to be exciting. Perhaps more exciting than Deb Messing in the "Starter Wife." QATFYG: What would you do if you woke up...

So I just watched "The Young Victoria," with Emily Blunt, and it was quite kickass. Currently available on DVD, and it is worth the time. If you didn't notice from the spotlight/shoutout of Matthew MacFayden, I like period dramas, especially ones that captivate the heart of the era and close with a happy ending. This film did all of those things. Emily Blunt is crazy good in this role. She is quite fun to watch. I will be catching more of her movies as time goes by. To sum up this film in two words: Well Done! Other Unrelated Gossip: Bernie Madoff is a jerk, and he is living the sweet life in jail. Crafty Bastard. and Obama is still ticked at the Oil Spill recovery crew. If you are an international reader (USA had an oil spill!!) QATFYG: What is your favorite period piece film?

I feel like this could be said about her whole career, really. hmm. anyway, I applaud her for taking risks. "Elastic Love" with M.I.A. was a gutsy move. In fact- I listened to "Woohoo." the whole album plays like a gutsy move. what is Britney doing these days anyway? hiding in the south, trying to keep Sean Preston off her lap while she drives her tractor around intersections? Christina may have won the battle here. oh, but you know what Britney is thinking. SHE WILL WIN THE WAR. eat your cheesey poofs, Britney. plan your fifteenth comeback with Girl Talk and Calvin Harris. it will be okay. I just wikipedia'd (WHAT A SAVVY RESEARCHER I AM RIGHT) the new Aguilera album (Aguilera, arguably Wexford's most famous resident, no offense Rebecca!)- apparently GOLDFRAPP had songs riding on this. GOLDFRAPP. and let's be honest: today's pop stars, old and new alike, live in the post-Lady Gaga world. I mean, that girl changed things around some, for better or...

it's like I'm shouting at you! I feel like the new Arcade Fire just emerged out of no where. no where! and then, while doing my daily hype machine (holla) cruise, I came across it! and I was like- mind explooooooooode! I still feel like Neon Bible was not that long ago. when in actuality, it was. I was still a sophomore. crap, I remember how it felt when Funeral was big. in high school! "have you heard of Arcade Fire?" oh wow I'm aging myself. I was like, tenth or eleventh grade. no, eleventh, because it was around Footsteps time. hey Jason, if you read this, I'm giving you a shoutout. I just listened to "The Suburbs" and it's not bad. not bad at all. but then again it's Arcade Fire I'm sure this new album is going to be like Revolver good or something. Have you heard it? What are your thoughts? They're playing in Maryland in August with Spoon. SPOON. SPOON. JESUS. I will probably not go because I am broke and not driving. but I woul...

Throughout all of the slums I’ve lived in, for years and years now, I’ve had an aggravatingly delicate plant kept on windowsill after windowsill and never had any idea what it actually was. I’d always thought it was some kind of fern the kitten enjoys taking new growth from, but was just looking up asparagus because asparagus is, again, relatively prominent within pages 100-50; anyway, my window plant is an Asparagus setaceus , an “ asparagus fern ,” even though it’s not actually a fern! And its needle-like leaves are actually branches called cladodes and the leaves are these weird scale-looking things! But Asparagus officinalis — actual asparagus— what do you think about that? How many times have you thought about using it as a weapon? Continuously? Francoise, as Marcel finds out years later, has been using it to abuse the kitchen maid, “provoking in [her] attacks of asthma so violent that she was obliged to leave,” which is why she’s had it be a daily part of the family’s meals. The ...

IS HE GOING TO LOSE HIS ARM? NEVERMIND... This looked so, so, so weird . I mean- there aren't enough words to describe how weird the concept is! You can tell the writers were on some kind of chemical substance and were like "oh my god! this is such a good idea! seriously! SNORT- now where are my pop tarts at!" then the writers passed out and they were in Mexico. but all my friends that saw it had nothing but positive, glowing things to say! what the hell! so I will tell you what I thought of what is bound to be 2010's greatest accomplishment in cinema, : it was one of the most genuinely entertaining films I have ever seen in the theater. I haven't heard that much laughter in a long time. here's the gist of the movie, if you haven't somehow figured it out by the title: four friends (well, three, kind of) get together in a resort town that they had some awe-some times in the 1980s when they were still young (and had hair and could have a lot of sex et al) ...

No joke, just watch this trailer, and if you're still engrossed and not degrossed....look for it in video stores, netflix, or just youtube it. *It's available now!* No joke, watch this trailer.