The Useless Critic 2.0

I am not this cool.  If you know me, and I don't expect you know me all that well, you would realize one of my longtime dreams is to travel across America a la Jack Kerouac. Well, I did that. Recently. In a Greyhound. (Not quite the dream, per se).  I traveled to Phoenix from Erie, PA in a two-day journey we could only call "hellish." Originally it would have been roundtrip, but a work emergency caused me to miss my first bus. I flew home, but not without somehow losing my glasses in the progress. (Luck? What's that?) I'm about to describe to you this journey in the only way I know how:  vaguely passive-aggressive blogging. Chapter 1: Yelling At Old Women And Fixing Some Lady's Blackberry I left Erie on a cold and brisk Friday afternoon. I was sick to begin with- the weather took a toll on my now warm-weather-acclimated system, so I didn't even have much of a "vacation" to begin with. Plus, I had romanticized my whole trip home. Y...

Here at the Useless Critic , I think our unacknowledged philosophy is not to take things so seriously. Posts are lighthearted, for the most part. And they should be. Life can't be spent being heavyhanded about everything. And this is, after all, the internet. Which, to some degree, is still a big playground for people that refuse to grow up. (I guess I am grouping myself with them). However, I've been sort of toying with the idea of posting about the recent string of adolescent suicides in America (see here if you are unfamiliar), which are the result of bullying. Bullying is one of those trademarks of growing up anywhere, America or otherwise; it's bound to happen. No matter what. It's happened for generations. And I know it will never be eradicated, as much as it should be. People are people; they feed off the weaker ones and never seem to totally change. But fuck the toying with. I am posting this, even though I do feel vulnerable to some extent and a little out of s...

So due to unforeseen circumstances I am in Ohio. When will I leave? When are you coming to get me? And I have learned so much about this state that lies often forgotten in the union until election times or during reruns of Drew Carey. My initial reaction is...come here if you want to die or get an infection from sitting on a toilet seat. So Ohio is a state that has some major characteristics: 1. There is pride for Apple Juice. 2. The baseball players cannot read. 3. You park under signs that say not responsible for theft....and no guns allowed. 4. There are gospel singers in the Denny's. 5. They have a football team named the Browns, but they wear shame because they suck. 6. Cleveland....women...nuff said. 7. The grocery stores have an excellent supply of pie pumpkins. I was excited. QATFYG: May you list for me a few nice things about Ohio?

-- Hoi Dag peoples!! How is everyone’s Wedensday? Orson Bean’s is going off without a hitch, and he is standing proud with the spotlight/shoutout in his pocket. (Just like that falling star song.) Born in 1928 Orson B is a star and hero in my household. No matter who you are or where you come from you can’t deny that Orson Bean was wonderful on “Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman,” as the town’s beloved shopkeeper Loren Bray. Can you Spot the Orson in the picture? Also, I just recently learned that he played John Goodman’s father on “Normal, Ohio.” I watched that show, but I had no idea. Now Orson is moving on in the world of television playing an antique love interest on “Desperate Housewives.” (In case anyone can’t tell, I’m a fan.) It’s just great to see him still acting after all these years. He’s dazzled the stage, the the silver screen, the small screen, and my computer screen for a while now. Orson Bean you rule!! QATFYG: Were you a Dr. Quinn fan? Did you ever watch Normal, Ohio? And h...