The Useless Critic 2.0

It's a weird coincidence that I happened to finish reading this book on the bus about the same time Zooey Week keeps on goin' at the Useless Critic. I just wanted to be like every other pretentious New Yorker out in public and be caught reading this book. Did you know Zooey was named for the most obnoxious character in said book?  WTF were you guys thinking, Mr. and Mrs. Deschanel! You should have named her "Franny." Of these two spoiled rich kids, Franny is the far more likable. Sure she's got her issues, but she's not a douche. Just saying. Are you not like the average hipster person and have you NOT read Franny and Zooey by the late, great Mr. Salinger? Ooh girl/boy, you really missing out. Not really. It's been a while since I wanted to slap all the characters in a novel, even the twats from Freedom  were redeemed by the end! Other meaningless, fittingly useless observations:   I much preferred Franny  to Zooey . Seriously, I wish his mom ...

Before other people cut me off: 27.) "People Can Do the Most Amazing Things"- Kisses Jens Lekman loves them and you can plainly see why: because they are like him! one of my favorite discoveries of this year. 26.) "Let's Go Surfing"- The Drums it's too catchy! too happy! it makes me think of Presque Isle and I DON'T KNOW WHY! I also like the song "I Felt Stupid" because it sums up my attitude on a lottttt. 25.) "Not in Love"- Crystal Castles f. Robert Smith omg it's like the Cure at a rave and where is my beloved Alice Glass? to make a good song just cover some obscure 1980s hit...that's the ticket, I guess. also: RIP JOHN LENNON WHAT IS IT ABOUT THE CATCHER IN THE RYE THAT MAKES PEOPLE WANT TO KILL I HAVE READ IT IT IS AN OKAY BOOK

It occurred to me earlier that we didn't officially acknowledge the absolutely mind-shattering fact WE HAVE BEEN IN EXISTENCE FOR A YEAR, OMG. So with that, I would like to say, to all our readers, loyal or otherwise: thank you. We love you. I remember when this was just a dream my freshman year- when I would walk around my dorm late at night and wonder, could I one day have a music blog? Would people read it? Um, of course it's not that much of a music blog, but you know... so dreams become reality. With that being said: Something great to wake up to for my fellow residents of western Pennsylvania: http://www.thepittsburghchannel.com/news/22384354/detail.html I can just imagine: my first jury duty notice. "BRITTANY, HAVE FUN IN THE 911 TRIAL." Que es??? I'm actually anticipating the day I get that slip in the mail. I wouldn't mind at all. Read that, government? WHY YOU NOT SEND ME JURY DUTY? I also like how Bin Laden blamed the United States for the climate...

That was a request. What's your favorite Salinger work? Franny and Zooey ? Everyone loves that one. I've only read the Catcher In the Rye. When I was ten. the library looked at me with disdain when I got it out. I believe it deflowered me.