The Useless Critic 2.0

Performances: Eminem, Dr. Dre, et al: The new Dr. Dre song ("I Need a Doctor") was good. Good hook. Who is Skylar whatsits Lady Gaga: Her voice sounded good. Not really diggin' this new song. This is no Paparazzi! It's more like a PSA than a song. Nas loved it. Really. ("I know I can! Be what I wanna be!") Why did she go straight Phantom of the Opera in the middle for no reason? Janelle Monáe: I love you, you're beautiful. Usher and Justin Bieber with Jaden Smith: Biebs sounded flat at first J Smith kind of sucks. Who cares, it was awesome. Willow was in the audience!! Unexpected: Miranda Lambert: Gritty, Endearing. Definitely the most legit country stuff being represented. Cee Lo w/ Muppets: Holy three-pronged crucifix. I wasn't into that song when I heard twentagers singing it in bars but Cee Lo killed it. Great voice, solid dude, magnificent plumage. Awards: Best New Artist: Justin Bieber, robbed. Esperanto Vegas is getting m...

Performers to LOOK OUT! for: Dr. Dre Lady Gaga Janelle Monáe Usher and Justin Bieber with Jaden Smith I predict that these performances will be the best. Hoping for an impromptu swap of Jaden for Willow and an announcement that Dre is dropping Detox. More performers! Nominees to LOOK OUT! for! 4. Best New Artist Justin Bieber That kid deserves the award! 12. Best Dance Recording Dancing On My Own Robyn Patrik Berger & Robyn, producers; Niklas Flyckt, mixer Track from: Body Talk Pt. 1 [Konichiwa Records/Cherrytree/Interscope] 20. Best Rock Song Angry World Neil Young, songwriter (Neil Young) Track from: Le Noise [Reprise; Publisher: Silver Fiddle Music] 32. Best Rap Performance By A Duo Or Group On To The Next One Jay-Z & Swizz Beatz Track from: The Blueprint 3 [Roc Nation] Those are my cats in the bag. If you know any hot chicks who agree with me please give me their phones numbers. More nominees! "You think I give a damn about a Grammy? Half of you critics can't eve...

Eliminate the word "whom" and replace all instances of it with "who." It looks and reads antiquated. Spell both "it's" and "its" with an apostrophe. Why should only one possessive in the language not have one? I cannot imagine a situation in which the words could be confused. More to come.