The Useless Critic 2.0

I reckon not many people know short-lived British duo Mini Viva nowadays, so I'll give you guys a little 411. Created by production house Xenomania, Mini Viva consisted of Frankee Connolly and Britt Love, and were signed to Geffen and Polydor Records. The duo's infectious debut single, " Left My Heart in Tokyo ," was co-written by Norwegian goddess Annie and released in September 2009, reaching number 7 on the UK Singles Chart. Follow-up single " I Wish " was released in December, but charted at number 67, thus failing to match the success of its predecessor. Although Mini Viva's music wasn't wildly groundbreaking, their sugary brand of synth-heavy dance-pop was fun and deliciously catchy nevertheless. In May 2010, Mini Viva released a third single, "One Touch," which was co-written by rising star Florrie and happens to be my favorite song from the duo. However, despite plans to release an album, "One Touch" flopped even harder...

I'm going to skip ahead a lotttttttt to when I was at the airport with Al. And Al was standing in front of me and it was the first time I'd seen him in days/weeks/months. now, we were flying away on 9/11 and the airport was DEAD. vacant. like a zombie movie. seriously- there was no one around .  I wonder why! "Hi," I said to Al, ready to embark on the next 11 days in his company. "Yo." From there, Al had some random problem with his carryon I forget. then we went to like some overglitzed airport version of an Applebee's and had a beer together before flying. I tried to get internet and failed. c'est la vie. how did I function? on the actual flight to New York City, we flew basically in a tissue box that had somehow taken wings to flight. it was such a broke ass Erie-like flight they didn't offer us even newspapers on it. and it was very hot and bright, but we were in JFK in like an hour or so. once at JFK, the crowds were s...

Two songs I have heard recently that have been out since last year that are completely amazing: Foster the People: do you like Vampire Weekend? if so: I'm not really into Adele, but she has an amazing set of vocals. and this song is brilliant: I like that comment: So damn passionate! even in a chair! TRUTH A++++ for both of these. have a good weekend! p.s. I have two more Erie posts planned, and that will be that. I said there's not much worth discussing!

A few days ago, Yelle answered some questions for me. I shouldn't say Yelle though because that is to generalize and say Julie Budet is the whole band. Yelle is the band; Julie Budet the awesome singer who I talked to. THERE IS A DIFFERENCE! that's like saying "omg I talked to Garbage" when you only talked to Shirley Mansion. I know there are boys involved! somewhere! In case you did't see my post a few months ago, Yelle is back at making music, releasing "La Musique," which is a lot of bombastic fun. it sounds like spaceships and the like. when I listen to it, I want to see lasers. which I think sums the aesthetic up nicely! The first album was 2007's Pop Up which is such a good album, featuring the likes of the !!!! "JE VEUX TE VOIR." video time: COLORS COLORS COLORS (I'm sorry for the poor quality!) the new album is to be all in French (no surprise) and comes with a tour, which includes shows with K. Perry. of course though it's...

Last year you do not remember me picking the guy that saved a flight from Amsterdam to Detroit. s'okay. this year was hard! who to pick? WHO TO PICK? Julian Assange? Kate Middleton? Betty White (just for you, Ursula?) UFFIE?!?!?! oh, that was a hard decision. like Sophie's Choice , really. then I started pondering this, hard. and the Useless Critic's person of the year was pretty obvious after hard pondering: why: “I have. I woke up in Vegas once and there was no toothpaste, but there was some leftover Jack Daniel’s. I figured it would be good for my morning breath.” “That depends. You’ve got to define ‘party girl.’ If you mean I’m a walking good time, then hells yeah. But I’m not wasted and stumbling out of clubs and getting DUIs. I’m not that kind of party girl. I may be blonde and fun as balls, but I’m not a moron.” “Oh, yeah. I don’t remember if I’ve ever made out with Katy, but I’ve kissed some b****es in my life.” “I’m sure you gathered this by now: I just do what I w...

He sounds happy again! :) A

So this was a really big deal over the winter. random Swedish girl: this is the best movie ever me: omg okay you are Scandinavian so obviously whatever you say I will take in as fact random Swedish girl: okay random Swedish girl: I saw this THREE times in the theater me: I just watched the trailer and it looks like it's about ugly amphibians and I don't think I want to watch a movie about ugly amphibians. random Swedish girl: *stops talking to me* I am pretty fucking sure I have no idea what is going on. omg is Tommy Lee Jones in this or am I hallucinating? JESUS, IS THAT YOU

It sounds like they've grown up a little. It also doesn't sound like they've done that much differently. meh. I am hoping to see them in Toronto in January with Asobi Seksu. basically they are going EVERYWHERE rating: B, I can't give it much more or much less.

Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night, And I go back to December.... ALL THE TIME (my jam) Once in a life you buy a CD...and it turns out to be kismet. Or you simply buy a CD, which no one ever does anymore, and that in itself is a big deal. So there I stood at Starbucks, somewhat out-of-step on my lunch break. barista stares at me. " Americano ?" NOD. "Tall?" NOD. (I am a regular, stfu ) "Anything else?" I see Taylor and her poofy purple dress staring at me from the counter. it's tempting. Taylor, courtesy of Cara and Alice way back when, has grown on me. My mom is also a fan. I grab the CD. "This too." The barista continues to stare me down as if she is judging me. So woooot . I could have bought that stinky Katy Perry album instead! BITCH, I AM THE REASON YOU HAVE WORK. WORSHIP ME. The last CD I bought was Charlotte Gainsbourg's IRM in February. I have actually bought all of her albums. this is because a sma...

Okay, the version of this I'm listening to has someone screaming the url over everything OH MY GOD SHUT UP. Anyway, I am glad Bon Iver is embracing a second career as a blue-eyed soul singer. he's certainly got the voice for it. overall I like this, I'm just a little confused. B+

Do you like Ellie Goulding? Do you like American folk music? Do you wonder what would happen if these two things got married and made an unholy musical love child? Enter LISSIE. who is, just. um. Lissie. no last name. think Cher. I feel like Miss Lissie has the potential to get very big. Watch and learn. She's used two covers, one of "Bad Romance" by Lady Gaga and the other "Pursuit of Happiness" by Kid Cudi/MGMT wisely to her advantage. If you are an up-and-coming pop star these days, advice: COVER A BIG SONG. SOMEONE WILL HEAR IT AND THINK IT IS BRILLIANT. Luckily, in Lissie's case, it's just so: OMG, do you remember I mentioned Ellie Goulding before? I like Ellie Goulding a lot but it's mostly because I do find her attractive. very attractive. yeah I'm shallow, deal with it, BUT LOOK THEY'RE DUETING: maybe making out? I can only dream. anyway, despite its pop aspirations, there is something refreshingly natural about Lissie. she seems to ...

WATCH THIS shout-out to my girl Wenli for showing this to me. questions: a.) WHY IS SHE SO TALENTED b.) does this video creep you out? I can't think of Taylor going past first base. leaving a box of her stuff at a boy's place is more than that! :/ rating: A, even if it is a little begrudging!

does that not sound like it would be amazing carved onto a desk in your high school health class? just about. it rolls off the tongue like I used to think CHRISTOPHER and JENNIFER did (oh, to be three again). this is a real update from my Swedish hostel. I just took a cold shower and survived a Saved By the Bell influenced nightmare. yes, my friends, like the M&M commericial: THEY DO EXIST. anyway, before I left the USA, I picked up this album. and I have not listened to much music on my trip other than the sounds of Lykke Li, Robyn, Camille and Edith Piaf, but I have been forming an opinion on the long-awaited collaboration between the real life couple for a while. I feel comfortable in letting that opinion go now. all in all, it is a cute album. it is a sweet album. it´s fun, you want to pinch it by the cheeks. not in a creepy way that would make the recipient feel gross afterwards, but in a good way, like something not so creepy. Jenny and Johnny are in looooove, but not overly ...

Friendly Fires finally have a new song out!!!!!! I first heard them in 2008 with "Paris," the ultimate escapist track, which I still adore to this day. And then "On Board" And "Photobooth"- it's good Brit dance rock. Think Bloc Party, think Two Door Cinema Club, think Passion Pit BUT BETTER. and more English! so was I scared to hear their new song? was it like seeing my parents naked, which I have seen? umyes. "SUCK MY DECK" so they collaborated with these guys with Azari and III and this British DJ claims this is disco. but this is better than disco. judge for yourself: B+/A- it's rather arbituary.

Military Pop, Neofolk, Martial... genres of music traditionally associated with phrases like "huh?" and "never heard of it." One would reasonably suppose that something meeting those descriptions would be harsh and unlistenable, of course, and not built upon stripped-down, but catchy, beats and soothing French vocals. The genre offspring of Industrial seem to meld with Synthpop as well as their predecessor. In May of this year, Geoffroy D. ( Dernière Volonté or "Last Wish") released his newest album, Immortel , with little fanfare. In fact, so little that I couldn't even find a YouTube from it (the song above is from 2006's Devant Le Miroir ). Top 10 of 2010? Maybe. At first listen, I still prefer Devant Le Miroir, and three of my spots are already reserved for Robyn releases. AWM

oh my god IT'S JENS www.jenslekman.com The end of the world is bigger than love. swoon. I sent him another email. he will hate me.

first thoughts: Phoenix much? and it's not because they're French! although it kind of is..... A+, this is an awesome song. and defines my opinion on other people

Lead singer Paul Banks sounds like he's in pain and not in a good way. After his solo excursion of Julian Plenti, which was all right but nothing (to employ a lazy cliche) to WRITE HOME ABOUT IT. Where White Lies and Editors strive to be, Interpol is, a sort of area in the pantheon previously occupied by Joy Division and Ian Curtis' epileptic self. his voice just sounds so bad on "Barricade." other than that, it's a good song. B- hear it:

Hey everybody- Adam already welcomed you guys to 2010! I know, I was busy being hungover for the majority of today to be of much use. I could have been really cliché and posted Death Cab For Cutie or U2, BUT I FELT LIKE THIS ONE REQUIRED MORE EFFORT. I deleted my facebook, mostly because it has been sucking my time out lately- the amount of hours I spend on that website is unhealthy! and plus I'm already a huge social media whore, but the thing is I'm going to put it back up in like, hopefully, a week. will I last that long? WILL MY EXPERIMENT OF A LIFE WITHOUT FACEBOOK (BLEAK AND MEANINGLESS) FAIL? stay tuned..... (a few people have already noted my absence with horror, sniff). plus personal stuff. u kno. I want to get stuff done, which is something I keep saying yet never do. Also, I read Vogue today, all of it, having nothing better to do. I will see Sherlock Holmes now that I am aware of Rachel McAdams' part in the thing. love that classy bitch. reinvigorated me for the...

most of these songs I've discussed already, so I'm skipping the ones I have for the most part and a few that I feel are just blah blah blah: "Boat Behind"- Kings of Convenience "1901"- Phoenix "Treat Me Like Your Mother"- The Dead Weather "Dog Days Are Over"- Florence and the Machine "I Don't Like Your Band"- Annie " Relator "- Pete Yorn and Scarlett Johannson "Laughing With a Mouth of Blood"- St. Vincent "Crystallized"- The Xx "You and I"- Wilco featuring Feist "If Only"- Sondre Lerche "Daniel"- Bat For Lashes I think Natasha Khan is one of the coolest girls ever. in my mind, I AM her. She's like a revamped Kate Bush. love it. "Seven"- Fever Ray I haven't yet fully sat down and indulged in Fever Ray, but this song has struck a chord with me. eerie and yet ... POIGNANT. it reminds me of on Christmas Eve when my grandma and I watched "White...