CHANNELING MY INNER TEENAGE GIRL TO REVIEW BREAKING DAWN
it bears saying within the first five minutes of Breaking Dawn , Jacob aka WEREWOLF strips off his shirt, revealing a ripped chest, and runs into the woods. And I was like OMGZ TAYLOR U R SO HOTTTT. and I texted Cyndi, from physics, to be like "hes so hawt and ur such a twat 4 being team Edward." Little did I know, she was giving the captain of the soccer team, Jeremy or Joshua or Jeremiah, head. GIRL U GOT NO CLASS So like if I got married to Jacob, would he have to imprint on me? y/n anyway, moving on. Edward and Bella are finally gonna get married. and the marriage is actually gorgeous. like, the whole film is surprisingly well-shot. I remember Twilight circa 2008 and being like THIS IS GROSSSSSS I NEVER WANT TO GO TO SPOONS WASHINGTON. omg Cyndi has relatives in Oregon. BITCH so like there's wedding jitters and crap and randomly Edward's like "I USED TO EAT MURDERERS WHEN I WAS REBELLING IN THE 1920S." I don't know how that fits into the...