The Useless Critic 2.0

The countdown is over. After an entire year of waiting for Thor: The Dark World to be released, it finally arrived. The first thing I have to say about it is that I am dead. This film seriously exceeded all my expectations. It was everything I hoped it could be and more. Which is good considering the fact that I spent an entire year fangirling and dying for it to come out. The film hit theatres on the eighth of November. Naturally I was there on the seventh. My tickets for the film had been purchased in early October and I was slated to see an advanced screening of it at 10 instead of having to wait until midnight. My life was made. (I died when I got my tickets.) In short, the film is set two years after the first Thor film. Thor is traveling the nine realms trying to make peace and prepare himself for his future as the king of Asgard. Jane Foster, his love interest, is still on Midgard (Earth) and hasn’t seen Thor since New Mexico. Loki (the precious darling of a god...

By Guest Writer  Taylor Birk There are two words that can accurately describe Tom Hiddleston, a British actor most known for playing Loki in "Thor" and "The Avengers": Life Ruiner.  That’s exactly what he does. He ruins lives. He ruined mine back in May of 2012. As usual, I’m late on the bandwagon. I didn’t see "Thor" when it was actually in theaters. I didn’t even see it until after I had seen "The Avengers." Which, by that point, I was already in love with Loki. Seeing Thor just made my love for him even worse. Until more recently, Hiddleston hasn’t been a household name, as far as actors go. His popularity has grown greatly since he teamed up with Marvel, and I expect that he will just keep going up from here. He’s not just another pretty face (although his face is beautiful. Seriously. Look at it). He has the talent to keep his career skyrocketing even further. After I had seen all the work he’s done for Marvel, I knew I had to se...

This another guest post by Taylor Birk Natalie Portman had no role in writing this Whatsoever I’m counting down the days until Nov. 8 2013. Seriously. I have a countdown on my calendar. Why? What’s so special about Nov. 8 ? If you don’t know, we probably can’t be friends (okay, not really). Nov. 8 marks the release date for Marvel’s next superhero film, "Thor: The Dark World." In case you couldn’t already tell, I’m dying. Thor is my favorite of all the Avengers and I adored the first film, released back in 2011. It was action packed and had a stunning cast to go along with a fantastic director. Plus, let’s be honest, Chris Hemsworth is quite nice to look at. This sequel is supposed to take place approximately one year after the events in "The Avengers." An ancient civilization, known as the Dark Elves, are trying to take over the Nine Realms and it’s Thor’s task to stop them. Leading the Elves is Malekith the Accursed (played by the amazing Christophe...

Take your mom to see Thor . Marvel at Chris Hemsworth or Natalie Portman or both. I mean, it's your choice, and I'm not judging. Make her listen to Tyler the Creator with you. If there's anything Mom is sure to love, it's lyrics like: I'm not gay, I just wanna boogie to some Marvin (What you think of Hayley Williams?) Fuck her, Wolf Haley robbing them I'll crash that fucking airplane that that faggot nigga B.o.B is in And stab Bruno Mars in his goddamn esophagus And won't stop until the cops come in I'm an over achiever, so how about I start a team of leaders And pick up Stevie Wonder to be the wide receiver? Take her to Applebee's or Red Lobster or Chili's WHICHEVER SHE LIKES. TODAY IS HER DAY. Tell her you admire her for having a human come out of her vagina, because that's not ever happening here (points to self). Make her watch the "Judas" video: count all pop culture references! WASH YOUR FEET WITH MY HAIR...

http://www.goerie.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20110501/NEWS02/305019852 yup.