The Useless Critic 2.0

In a follow up to yesterday's mild-mannered trashing of Cosmopolitan, today will focus on a more discreet attempt to convey bizarre messages, including those that come from home furnishing stores. As it forces upon us: Men must be like coffee...Hot. Strong. Good. If that's what women want, that's fine. However, if every coin has two sides, and if every positive can only exist as long as there is a negative.... QATFYG: What do men want? What must women be like? Women Must be like Cafe Lattes: Sweet. Hot. Bubbly. Women Must be like Canning Jars: Useful. Purposeful. Always in the Kitchen. Women Must be like Megan Fox: Attractive. Wealthy. That's It. Women Must be like Comic Books: Easy to Read. Never Complicated. Tight Clothing is Somehow Always Involved. Women Must be like Rubber Bands: Flexible. Brainless. Easily Disposable.

All right, so I already have my "you need to hear this" installment. which is cool and all. but when I was getting my hair done over the weekend (!), I was flipping through the latest copy of Allure (not something I normally if ever read) and came across some pretty sick photos of Amanda Seyfried. sick as in gorgeous. like, insanely gorgeous. so, I present to you, the first installment of my new baby, I'D HIT IT (for the record, that Rahm post a while ago totally counts!) Known best for Karen in "Mean Girls" and the daughter of Streepie in "Mamma Mia," Amanda is just- God. beautiful! her eyes, her face. seriously. I don't know why more people don't see it. She's also from Allentown. PA HOLLA. Quite excited to see her opposite the overrated Megan Fox (who is subpar to Amanda, in my humble opinion) in Diablo Cody (screenwriter/stripper goddess of "Juno" fame)'s newest feat, "Jennifer's Body," which opens in Septem...

QATFYG And yes I'm opening the post with the question segment. How was everyone's 4th of July? And are you ready to celebrate the 5th of July "Algerian Independence Day!!!?!?!?!?" So this 4th of July weekend I caught Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen in theaters. And all I can say is AWESOME! Lately, I've lost my taste for action movies, but this one simply kicked ass. And this is coming from someone who hasn't even seen the first one. Also, it didn't hurt that Megan Fox was jawdroppingly gorgeous in the film. ****(But did anyone notice that she has big-bony-creepy hands? They had one scene where she puts her hand up to cover her mouth, and I was like "weird"?) And this weekend was also the Wimbledon Championships. The Williams sisters won both the doubles tournament, and finished first and second in the singles. Boring! I don't know, I just don't like it when there is no competition and it's the same winners every year. I should be...