The Useless Critic 2.0

Traveling back in time to review films is always a favorite of mine, but this sort of feels like that show “7 Days” when what’s his name could only travel back seven days. I am barely going back into the past, but time travel is still exciting regardless. Anyone ever see the film “Minutemen?” Synopsis/Premise/Info So “The Happening” is a centered around “Mark Wahlberg,” and Zooey Deschanel gets to serve as his female companion/ person of intercourse (she’s like his HO or something; I forget). This film came from director M. Night Shameelaaan, coming off of his critically-butchered and Golden Raspberry crowning film “Lady in the Water.” “The Happening” proved to be different in plot but the same in lousiness, but I hate to burst your bubble when I say it doesn’t have a twist at the end. In this film you can see Zooey Deschanel in an epic run for her life from plants that are mad at her, while Mark Wahlberg pretends to be smart. It sounds like I am being really dull and really lame when...

For starters, I am dealing with the Marky Mark not Mark L. Walberg; although, I was a huge fan of him on “Russian Roulette.” Here are four random moments in Mark Wahlberg’s chemical analysis, that will determine analytical things about his manly chemistry. Only picking four…… The Lovely Bones Jack Salmon People who have read the book, told me this movie was terrible. However, I thoroughly enjoyed this film. One reason was the eerily striking performance of Stanley Tucci (former s/s award winner), and the other was the subtle grieving nature of Mark Wahlberg. This role had something so honest. He was a father in mourning, and he played that well, but also, there was an intriguing almost mystic quality about his character that he brought into the world(s). The Italian Job Charlie Croker To be honest, I despised this film. I thought it was cocky and smug. I even created a word to describe it, “smocky.” I just felt it was so synthetic, and so many disagree with me, but Mark Wahlberg put on...