The Useless Critic 2.0

I have no idea how I became friends with Zach Owen. I think we had mutual friends at Edinboro and I think it had something to do with me constantly doing stories on the Edinboro Film Series. Anyway. We became friends via Facebook and have managed to keep tabs on each other through the years, even though I have seen him maybe three times in person. I remember when I was temping at the college bookstore before I went to Sweden and he came in and was like "BK!" And I was very tired, and flustered because college students are generally annoying, so I was like WHAT . Zach is a writer and he's a good writer, which is a rare thing (believe you me). He's also celebrating the arrival of his first published book, " Beauties in the Deep ." This is big! It's an engaging book I truly enjoyed when he let me read it not too long ago (twice- one updated, one original). And as I know (because I also have a book out, you sons of bitches), having a book to your name is...

"Adjust Your Tracking" is a documentary about VHS fanatics. Read on to learn more about this project, which is gaining a lot of press at the moment:  Zach: To begin, can you tell us a little about "Adjust Your Tracking" and how it came to be? Dan: Well, it all started with my love for the VHS format. I slowly began meeting other collectors and realized they were funny enough, interesting enough and worthy enough for a documentary. I also thought it was important to document this subculture/resurgence of collectors. We had the idea and did some pre-production work in 2011, but really started filming in January 2012. From that point on it really took off. We started a Kickstarter to raise gas money to get the rest of the interviews we needed and just interviewed and shot as much footage as humanly possible. Zach: Are you pleased with the overall reaction to "Adjust Your Tracking," so far? Dan: I'm very pleased with the reaction. I have ...

are we having fun yet? ... I missed out on the loop a lot in Edinboro. Do I regret this? Hell no. I wish I could have missed out on more to be perfectly honest with you! But Brook White deserves to be recognized for his effortless attempts to make the universe (not just Edinboro University!) laugh. And although I never got the chance to meet Brook and have only witnessed various going-ons via the magic of my safe place in cyberspace.  Brook's first venture into the world of youtubable (is that a word? whatever it just happened) was College Life With Brook White.  SEE IT FOR YOURSELF. But now he's taken it upon himself to start his own variety show a la the Late Show  or something of that nature. Oh?!?! Enter BROOK WHITE TONITE, which has a reach farther than a little area in Pennsylvania. Well it's the era of the internet....whatever I don't know.  ENTER OUR AWKWARD FACEBOOK INTERVIEW Brook:   We still doing this thing little Kemp? Britt: ...

I don't know that much about metalworking, but I do know that my friend, Erica Sperrazzo, who I met through the magic of last.fm and Edinboro University, is very good at it! SEE FOR YOURSELF You can see more of her stuff here  on Tumblr !  recently , Erica announced her work will be available at Glass Growers Gallery , which is a pretty awesome local place. A big deal? Definitely. I've noticed Erica's art on and off the past few years I've known her and decided to ask her about things that I do not understand aka art and metalworking. Here are her very eloquent, and very verbose, answers!  When did you start making metals? Erica:   I took my first metals class sophomore year of college, round about six years ago, and it was definitely love at first sight. Prior to signing up for the class I wasn't even aware that my school offered metalsmithing. I was clueless! Jewelry design was something that had always fascinated me, but at the time I was actually a graph...

So the Romantic Era , a promising young band from Erie, PA (fun fact:  I grew up a block away from 3 of the band members) has just put out their new album on iTunes! They have shared the stage with the likes of Jason DeRulo, Andy Grammer (check him out too btw) and We The Kings. They call themselves "powerpop" or "high-voltage rock," whichever you prefer! I prefer "powerpop" because it has the legacy of stuff like Cheap Trick, The Cars and Weezer. Their live shows are pretty energetic affairs; the band confesses a "passion" for the original songs they play- "that contain an instant fun feeling." and speaking of the band, here they are: Connor Kimball - vocals Alan Dingfelder- guitar Ben Griffith- drums Bryant Kimball- bass Colin Kimball- keyboard The band also acknowledges that, well being six good-looking bachelors, they've gained a following through that as well. Ain't nothing wrong with that! Laydiez. They re...

WHY DID THIS BAR CLOSE WHY IS IT BEING RENAMED FAT WILLIE'S THAT IS NOT A GOOD NAME IT IS NOT EVEN AN OKAY NAME IT JUST SUCKS I am glad Larry dragged me here the last time I was in Edinboro. which was the winter. miss you so much, reuben salad, miss you. Here is an article that better explains the Copper Coin than me and my drunken half-memories ever could seriously, I met some electrician on the deck that wanted to marry me and some boy I always managed to make out with while drunk always sorry I ruined your life kind of THANKS TO KURT FOR BRINGING THIS HORROR TO MY ATTENTION

Edinboro native Shelley Mook has been missing for nearly a month now. I've been following this story on and off on the national and local news, but it doesn't sound nor look good. still remain positive, hey? you can read about Shelley here - she sounds like a well-liked, positive girl. I hope she turns up soon; please keep her/family in thoughts/prayers.

So the school I graduated from in May, Edinboro University of Pennsylvania, has made the really wise decision to close their libraries on Saturdays. It just makes me so happy I don't go to that school anymore. The ridiculous thing is the school just spent a shitload of money on a Fighting Scot statue, that, I'm sorry, is no where near as useful as a library. my mother told me, over coffee and newspapers this morning, that the statue is in fact "scary." I believe it! all I can think of is like, a bronze version of Mel Gibson with blood dripping from his mouth. eeee! anyway, if you go to Edinboro, or care about what this says about the ever-declining state of the American education system, please join the little facebook thing: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Pawning-off-the-Fighting-Scot-statue-to-keep-the-library-open-Saturdays/156554371040450?v=wall

there is a song about my alma mater floating around on the internet: I discovered this thanks to yourboro. I am really confused about how to feel but I wish I could find a MP3 of this to listen to.

HEY if you are in Edinboro, you should stop by the Pogue Student Center's third floor lounge tonight at 7 p.m. Sigma Tau Delta is organizing an open mic night. Come read poetry or play music or whatever. WHATEVER. food will be on sale (cheap) and it's lasting til 9. I WILL BE THERE AND I AM READING AS WELL COME STALK ME BYE

www.eupspectator.com yes, yes

I am not sure how I feel about their new album as a whole. may take it a few more listens to get used to. but damn! this is lovely. as is the video. IT'S GORGEOUS. I MISS SUMMER, OMG. WHY DON'T I EVER HITCHHIKE? also: College Bowl tonight! 4:45 Pogue Student Center! come watch me get my unprepared English department ass kicked! p.s.: VOTE TODAY

It's homecoming weekend in where I am sadly living (Edinboro). you can tell because it's like, not even 9 and there's music blasting and I have never heard so many drunk people in my life until last night. I WILL BE A PART OF THEIR LEGIONS THIS EVENING. anyway, I will be a part of the parade along with the rest of the esteemed Spectator staff, so come out and say hi! it goes around the campus loop and starts at noon. we will be giving away promo shit and, uh, Frostys coupons. also, I'd like to thank Alice for doing an INCREDIBLE job redesigning the Useless Critic! look how legit we look now!!! makes me so proud. to tide things over, here's the new Ladyhawke video for "Magic." This song means a lot to me and I wish she'd done a better job: bleh. if you're around the area and want to check out any of the Edinboro homecoming festivities today, be sure to visit this website (JUST ONCE IS ENOUGH): www.breakouttheplaid.com you have been warned.

so YOURBORO, the only blog out of Edinboro worth reading (um this is a global blog with Erie/Edinboro leanings kthanx) has a facebook fan page. BECOME A FAN OF IT. the people behind it? good people. and it's a pretty entertaining/informative read. http://yourboro.wordpress.com/ awesome!

- So American Idol has done the unthinkable and replaced Paula Abdul. EJRELKAJRKELJRKEAJRKREKRE WHYYYYYYY! I still cannot believe this. It CANNOT be real. I refuse to accept this. bullshit! bullshit! anyway. Ellen of all people is stepping into her shoes. Her large, drinky-drink shoes. Ellen, BB, listen up. develop some kind of addiction and fast. otherwise this show will be less enjoyable than it already is. - Nine Inch Nails played their last official FOR REALZ show last night somewhere in California. um, I think it was California. I remember when NIN came to Erie my senior year of high school- people are always shitting themselves over Trent Reznor being some kind of "local boy." bought my tickets at Giant Eagle and never used them. NOW THAT CHANCE IS GONE FOREVER, THANKS TRENT. - that thing about Ellen has inspired me: who is YOUR favorite lesbian? I love Ellen, but I don't think she's my favorite. and it's certainly not RoRo or Tegan and Sara. hmmmm. foo...

"G Force" looks surprisingly....good! Will Arnett, Zach G, the voices of Tracy Morgan and Penelope Cruz. I mean, if it's at the dollar theater someday and I'm bored enough, I MIGHT just go see it. plus who doesn't love guinea pigs! (I had a dream about "30 Rock" in which the roles of Alec Baldwin and Tina Fey were reversed. that being, Tina Fey was Jack Donaghy and Alec Baldwin was Liz Lemon). "Orphan" looks HILARIOUS. "The Ugly Truth" gets my vote as the dumbest film of the summer. plus I can't think of a more unappealing couple. Gerard Butler, in this movie, is the on-screen equivalent of a sweatsock. still no "500 Days of Summer." :( ...I don't think we're getting this? yet Harrisburg, of all ungodly places! bah. and because the movie selection for this weekend is less than pleasant, you may want to participate in the various events going on. Highland Days in Edinboro, Discover Presque Isle in Erie. me? not re...

p.s. I went back to one of my favorite restaurants ever- EVER! I say this because I love the Cracker Barrel and I don't really give a shit if you think this is like, trashy and redneck and AS BOURGEOSIE AS SHOPPING AT KOHL'S of me, because there's so much irony in me eating my fried apples while listening to Hank Williams it's like, well something jammed up the ass with ass tampons of irony- BUT YES Crossroads Dinor which just reopened earlier this month. my friend told me, gravely warned me, it wouldn't be the same and it wasn't. my jumbo pretzels were GONE. this was a bad omen. I think everything went downhill when they got rid of that gift shop and put in a bar because really does that town need another bar? NO. IT DOES NOT. I had the Rachel, which is like some kind of turkey reuben but still good. the food wasn't bad. but something was missing. it's not even like I have that fond of memories, because they vary between my dad's red face throwing s...

I liked this song better when I thought the lyrics were "if my hands are shaking/I feel my body rearrange..." or reeling. feels like rough first GIVE IT TO ME IN THE LOCKER high school sex! not that I'd know. the closest I came to sex in high school was being dry-humped by a boy I met on a religious retreat. true story. TIME'S NO MATTER I'M ON FIRE I always have this weird desire, every now and then, to drive around the Edinboro campus ridiculously high and listening to The Virgin Suicides soundtrack. I feel that has one of the better soundtracks in recent years. And not just because of Air. Well, mostly because of Air. The ambience I think would be perfect. sorta. I like to think this kind of honesty will gain me friends and respect but rly NO. I recommend the Phoenix cover of it, as well, because it feels so sad and lost. forlorn? in conclusion: French bands are great. I model myself somewhat after the lead singer of Phoenix. Here is the Huffington Post article...

http://omg.yahoo.com/news/leo-kate-help-last-titanic-survivor/22348?nc aw! how heartwarming. wait...isn't this old news? it's still nice, nonetheless. I'm going to update like ten times today. GET READY. II. (item of interest) EDINBORO HAS A STREETVIEW ON GOOGLE MAPS http://yourboro.wordpress.com/2009/04/13/edinboro-street-view/ this strikes me as the most useless thing ever, but whatevs. I like to scope streetviews to see if I recognize peeps in the shots. Like Pittsburgh, for example. And sometimes I get bored and tired and depressed and go to Portland's and pretend I live there. yourboro is a good blog, if you are a local you should read it more often. - Brittany